[gwensnanny]

How do I begin? What are the costs to consider? How long did it take you to find a match? Also, how do I go about doing this (without an agency)? Thanks so much and God Bless.

[lizzie373]

Hi! My husband and I are in the adoption process and have decided to locate a birthmother on our own. We want to be involved in the process and were somewhat turned off by the fees required by agencies to locate a birthmother for us. I would love to be able to tell you how much this costs- but we have just started networking- so I don't know how much it will end up to be- could be anywhere! We started by finding a great attorney to help us! Good luck!!

[Linny]

With our most recent adoption, we initially 'went through an adoption attorney affiliated with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. (Check their website for members in your area, if you wish.)
Our attorney networks with other attorneys and agencies. As it turned out, our baby was located through an agency she networked with.
The fees, therefore, were around $5,000 more. Had we conducted an adoption with 'just the attorney finding the baby through another attorney, or through her own sources'........the complete adoption would probably have been done for much less.
Some attorneys charge more than others....some are better than others.
If you are wanting to go the 'attorney route'....I suggest you check the website, then just start calling around. Also, don't feel that you must stay within your own state----while out of state placements will often raise the cost somewhat----it's not always a great deal more expensive when dealing with the interstate compact.

Our wait was only four months long. However, the 'waiting time' will be determined by 'what conditions you are desiring (open or closed or semi-open adoption), gender and race of the baby, and special needs of the child.
In our case, the baby was already born when we were 'chosen' by the birthmother. For our next baby, I would want it this way again. While we met and talked, it took a lot of pressure away from us not having to wait and wonder for months if birthmom was sure of her decision to release for adoption.

Sincerely,

Linny

[pd_21]

my husband and i adopted using a local attorney. but we didn't go out and try to find a birthmother, she found us. we wanted to adopt a child for a long time approx 4 years, but we knew we could not afford the extreme cost through adoption agencies. friends and family knew we wanted to adopt and a girl that knew us worked with birthmom and told her about us, she called us up one night and wanted to know if we were still wanting to adopt. I meet her the following week and from there we developed a strong bond. Our son was born last year with the birthmom, bg, my husband, daughter, myself and several family members. It was as if and angel was sent to us. as for the cost we used only one attorney representing us, but he explained everything to the birthmom and bf, we did make a arrangement through the court to help her with living cost, traveling expense to appt's, meals. she was on goverment medical coverage so we did not have the expense of the delivery. but the whole adoption estimated at approx $6,500. this included the attorney, living expenses etc. I hate to put a price on what will be a life long joy, but i understand fully what it can do to a family's financial situation. it set us back awhile, but we would do it all over again!!!! good luck!!

A BLESSED FAMILY

[amom2be]

My dh and I have been researching the different independent alternatives for about 3 weeks. After spending a year with our state agency, we have decided that for us, an independent adoption is the path we want to take. This is mostly due to politics and problems we have had with our public agency sw and our desire to parent sometime before we reach retirement (lol).
I looked at several private agencies, attorneys, and facilitators, and checked a lot of references.
I was always able to find something that didn't sit well when looking at the private agencies...either something from a referral, a website, or verbiage stated in the contract that just didn't "feel" right. I also wasn’t comfortable with the number of clients they worked with at any given time.
An important factor in our final decision was finding a team (facilitator/attorney) that only work with 10 couples at a time, giving us more exposure and personal service.
It is my estimate that our final adoption incurs expenses totaling 17-20K because we are choosing to go with a facilitator to locate birth parents.

During my search I used these websites to check for any complaints and information:

American Academy of Adoption Attorneys
Adoption News
The Adoption Guide
In addition, I also checked each agency/company I was considering by calling the BBB in their area to get a detailed report, the Attorney General's office in their county, as well as called the local bar association for the state they (attorney) practice in.

We are signing up with our attorney tomorrow so our journey (wait) has just begun. I wish us all luck in our journey to become parents!

[Tigger]

Our birthmother also located us through a mutual friend. She called, we arranged to meet, and she chose us. We located our own attorney and the total charge for us was $1,500. You have to keep in mind though we didn't have to cover anything for the birthmother as she delivered 7 1/2 week premature so she had not yet quit her job. She didn't ask for any living expenses as she was living with her parents. She also chose not to have her own attorney which we would have been required to provide, so that was another $1,500 in expenses we did not have. Total cost after fighting birth father in court when our son was six months old was $15,000. Please keep in mind, an agency adoption would have been $7,000 to $10,000 and if I'm not mistaken we would not have been responsible for the court costs had we used an agency. I wouldn't have done it any other way since our son is now 4 1/2 and the love of our life (along with his two sisters, lol).

[misnran1]

Hi!
My husband and I are currently involved in an independent adoption. All of our friends and family have been keeping their eyes and ears open for a birthmother. My aunt works for our birthmother's aunt and that is how we found out about her.
Since she is in another state, we have 2 attorneys. The states she lives in requires birthmother counseling, which I am thankful for, so we have that expense as well. Our birthmother is in the military and her insurance pays for her medical expenses. She does not want any financial support from us of any kind.
Our expenses will likely total around $6-8,000. We will have travel expenses as well. If we were adopting from within our state, our expenses would be much less.
Hopefully this will give you some insight into an 'agency-free' adoption.
May God bless your decision!
Missy

[MkMw]

Hi -

We worked with an agency, meaning they did our homestudy,and are doing our post-placement supervision..

Our sons' Birthmom found us - through independent adversting - we told everyone we knew...and then some...BUT wound up connecting with someone we met on-line. Although - I'm not convinced it's the best way - there are some people out there...well, let's just say, tif you go independent, guard your emotions...

How long did we wait - well, I guess it depends on when you start counting.... from our first day online until the boys' Birthmom conctacted us was 6 months. SOO our sons are 9 months old, and this time last year we didn't know they existed :eek

For the record - we have an open adoption. Our agreement is for letters and pictures once a year....but so far, I don't think we've gone more than 2 months without contact.

michelle

[longgreengrass]

I am a possible birthmother. I have my own attorney because its required by law. I think every attorney charges differently so i have been told. attorneys dont charge birthmoms the attorneys bill birthmom fees to the adoptive couple. so if I place the adoptive couple would have to pay my attorney $2000 for his services to me.
My friend placed a child and got state medical assitance and she had a copay of $300 for delivery which the adoptive couple paid out to the hospital. plus other copays.
I have insurance. My father has me on his health insurance plan. his insurance pays me back 80% of my copays back. so I have to save reciepts to get the 20% back at the time of placement.

[joannemckay76]

My husband and i are going the independent open/semi open route also. A couple of the nurses i work with adopted that way, so that pushed us to try. It is hard to search for a birthmom but we are casting "our net" pretty far. I think i tell everyone, all the Doc's i work with too. We have been looking for two years and are now renewing our homestudy. Just cast your net wide and don't be afraid to speak up, after awhile you get used to it. It's surprizing how supportive folks are.

[mintshastagrape]

I am using an attorney. I am going to be a birthmom. its easier for me to use the attorney. its better for my situation.