[alliteration_78]

I have been parenting my 3 step-daughters (now 11, 12 and 13) since they were 4, 5 and 6. My husband (their birth father) and I married in 2005. Their birth mother lost custody immediately after the divorce due to child endangerment, moving a registered sex offender into the home, and yanking the girls out of school for no apparent reason. Long story short - DCFS was majorly involved and DCFS and the judge awarded my husband full custody and gave birth mom supervised, very limited visitation until she could prove her parental fitness. Four years ago, birth mom remarried and moved to Texas. The children have had no contact with birth mom in those 4 years, and she rarely showed up to visitation before that.
I am now pursuing termination of parental rights on birth mom so that I can adopt my girls. In order to do this, we had to try to find her so we could serve her with adoption paperwork and ask her to sign it. Luckily I did find her through the internet, but unfortunately, she refuses to sign adoption paperwork. She is now claiming that we refused to allow her to see her children, which the judge will see right through because it is the same judge we had all through the custody and child endangerment issues. We have bent over backwards to allow her to be a mother, yet keep our daughters safe at the same time. We also waited 4 years to allow her to get her life together and be a mom. Unfortunately, that has not happened.
Am I wrong to want to adopt the kids I have been raising for so many years? Somehow I feel like the villain in this situation. I've tried so hard to give my girls a good, normal, stable life. We have been assured by our lawyer that the judge will terminate parental rights on abandonment charges and grant me the adoption I am asking for.
Thanks for any suggestions or support you can give me.

[wcurry66]

Have you asked the girls what they want?

My mom is mentally unstable, moved all sorts of unsavory men into our home. My step mom is an angel (she came into my life when i was in 7th grade), but had she tried to adopt one of us, I would have been furious

Your case differs from mine. But I have to think the girls having a voice will make any transition go smoother

[alliteration_78]

Yes, I have asked the girls and they are ready for me to adopt. I have never asked them to call me "mom". They still call me by my first name. When they talk to their friends they refer to me as their mom. They don't remember a whole lot about living with their birth mom and what they do remember is mostly not good.