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Old 02-16-2010, 04:57 PM
microdrive microdrive is offline
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Step Child Adoption

My name is William and I am engaged to marry a wonderful woman that has legal guardianship of two teenage boys, age 15 and 16. She has been widowed for approximately two years. I have known the older boy for much longer than their "Mom" and I have been engaged, and had what might be best labeled as a "uncle - nephew" relationship (he was friends with my sister's grandson). My fiancee and her late husband did not adopt the boys but were granted guardianship by the courts. I am told that this was because neither boy wanted to be adopted by her husband (he had older children from a previous marriage and never grew close to the boys). They hired an attorney to complete the process and were granted custody on the first hearing (something the attorney said was extremely rare). The biological mother of the boys left them with the alleged father's father (no father is listed on either boy's birth certificate). Part of the process involved the hiring of a private investigator to try and track down the birth mother. He was unable to locate her and her relatives stated that they didn't even know if she was alive. The judge said the only person who could even come close to contesting the ruling would be the biological mother and as far as he was concerned, she was presumed deceased. The "presumed" father is in prison with no chance of release until well after both boys are adults. Since the death of my fiancee's husband, I became more and more involved with both boys. The younger boy calls me his dad and has asked repeatedly for me to adopt him. The older boy and I still have a good relationship but his opinion on the matter varies from day to day (I guess being 16 is tough under any circumstances). I want to adopt both boys after the marriage (assuming they are still agreeable) but I am concerned about putting them through more stress since they have endured considerable amounts already. My questions are: will the prior ruling ease the path to adoption and, will we have to stir up the whole "try to find the birth mother" thing again? Also, would their "Mom" and I have to be married for a certain amount of time prior to the State allowing such an action?

Any guidance that could be provided would be greatly appreciated. My desire to adopt them as quickly as possible is partly selfish and partly to offer both boys some security in the event anything were to happen to their "Mom". For example, neither boy qualifies for Social Security death benefits on her late husband because they were not adopted by him.

Last edited by microdrive : 02-16-2010 at 05:01 PM.
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