[proudirishmommy78]

I am in need of some advice from someone who is doing it, or has been there. I have been mom to two girls since they were 3 and 4 yrs old. i am also a birthmom of 2 kids.
birthmom has popped in and out a few times in their life, once when she thought it was convenient, for about 2 weeks, then disappeared, And when my DH was going thru his divorce, she saw them on a supervised visitation basis only. on her 1st overnight unsupervised, she didn't show up, no call, no letter, no emails. She never sent b-day cards, Didn't even pay CS, which as of now is in arrears of $25,000+ But through the courts, is now paying us. I tried to be completely supportive of their possible relationship when she started seeing them almost 6 years ago, until she disappeared again.
We are in Wisconsin.The kids are 10 and almost 12, they despise her and anything about her. I never talk bad about their birthmom in front of them, at least i try not to. I even potty trained the 10 year old, taught them how to swim, ride a bike, and have them involved in the church. and they are reallly close to my family. My family doesn't see them as steps, but as their own grandkids.
The birthmom has hired an attorney, and we are thinking it will be for custody of some sort. My DH has sole legal, and phys placement. She has had no contact with them for almost 6 years.
I'm afraid that she will only see them for her desired amount of time, and take off once again.
I love these kids as my own, and couldnt bare to see them go through that crap once again. We are not rich, but can provide everything that they need, including stability and love.
If we fight to have her rights removed, what are our chances, and then me adopting?

[riverview]

I do believe that once a child reaches the age of 12, they can decide where they want to live. Try the foster care section, I betcha they know the answers. BTW, private adoptions run less than about 5K~