[mommy711]

My husband would like to adopt my 3 1/2 year old son. My husband has been there from before he was born but is not the biological father. The biological father has never been in my sons life, is not on the birth certificate and has never payed any support. I have been trying to go through with stepparent adoption on my own b/c I can not afford a lawyer. I finally got a consent from the biological father after a year of fighting to find out that the consent form that was given to me was the old form in 2004 they made a new form. So they can not accept it. Now he will not communicate with me so Iam going to try a different approch. I was told to try to have his rights terminated does anyone know how to go about doing this? I dont even know really where to start!

[stepadoptionblog]

More forms to fill out! You will need grounds to terminate his rights, such as abandonment; no contact for a year, abuse, neglect..etc. If he has not had contact with your child than abandonment would be the easiest way for you to file for termination of parental rights. Abuse and neglect claims will have to be followed up by clear and convincing evidence, which can be harder for the average Joe, who is not used to how the legal system works, to produce.

A court hearing will be scheduled giving each of you a chance to present your case. You will have to show that he has not had contact with the child, and that it would be in the child's best interest to be adopted by their stepparent. The father will then have a turn to explain why he has not been in the child's life, if he actually shows up to court. This will be an actual court hearing so having a lawyer with you will make it less stressful, if you go it alone just make sure that you stick to the facts, don't argue with the father and don't get caught up with emotions and being petty. Focus on the fact that adoption would bring stability to your child's life, that your child deserves to have two involved parents.

The easiest way would be to just get him to sign his rights over willingly, it truly saves a lot of time, money, and stress on all sides. Since you know where he is you aren't a canidate for doing a public notice, so either he signs willingly or you are going to have to try to have his rights terminated without his consent. Just be warned that those trials can drag on for months if he decides to contest the adoption for whatever reason. Perhaps you can continue to try to reach him and find out why he is no longer cooperating with you? Maybe he has changed his mind, or maybe he thinks that it is all over and done with, and his rights have already been terminated.

Whatever route you decide to take, please keep us updated on how things go, I always wonder about the people on here and love to get updates from everyone!