[Nikki3295]

Does anyone know the legal age that my son can go to a judge to be heard that he wants my husband to adopt him? My x rarely calls him (once every 4-5 months if even that) pays child support only when they freeze his assets. My son went and visited him in NY after his father not seeing him for over 2-3 years. My husband has been in my son's life since he was 4 and has called him "daddy" since then. He wants the adoption but is also wanting to know if he can still visit his "father" if he ever decides to after the adoption. Any help or advice would be wonderful!

[Nikki3295]

Thank you for the info!

[stepadoptionblog]

If the biological father agrees to the adoption, then your son will not have to speak to the judge at all. Consent of the non-custodial parent must be given for a stepparent adoption to occur. If he will not consent to the adoption, then you must prove him unfit as a father which is a long and costly process, both emotionally as well as financially.

Open adoption arrangements can be worked out. Before the adoption takes place both sides sit down and agree to the amount of contact and what type of contact will happen. Letters and pictures every month, three months, or year? Day visits, overnight visits, and how often...

These are things that you really need to think long and hard about before agreeing to. Think about what you can seriously live with, and keep up with. Many people want to agree to just about anything in order to get the adoption through, only to realize that they bit off more than they could chew when it comes to the open adoption arrangement that they made.

Stepparent Adoption Blog

[stepadoptionblog]

SOme people believe that it is better for the child when they have an established relationship with a parent, to not completely cut contact between the two. Not every open adoption includes contact between parent and child. Many only include contact through letters and pictures sent to the relinquishing parent a set amount of times per year. This allows the parent to watch the child grow up and know what the child is doing, instead of wondering everyday how the child is doing.

While some states will not enforce open adoption arrangements, there are judges who will strongly suggest that some contact between the parent and child should continue even though the adoption will be finalized. This is to prevent the child from experiencing abandonment issues, and is only an option when the non-custodial parent is in no way a threat or a harm to the child and has an established relationship with the child.

Most open adoptions are agreed upon by both parties prior to the adoption taking place, very rarely is it the judge that decides to make the stepparent adoption open.

Stepparent Adoption Blog