[bpe]

Hi,I was wondering if someone could please help us.The problem is my husband wants to adopt our daughter( I say our daughter cause he's the only dad she's ever known) but her biological father is in prison.He has been for the past 5 yrs.Our daughter knows nothing about him.Doesn't even know he exist.We plan on telling her within the next couple of yrs.I've been with my husband since she was 6 months old.She is now turning 8yrs old.Last time her biological father seen her she was about 7 or 8 months old.The last time his family seen her she was about 2yrs old.We have no contact at all with them.We had made up some excuse about why her last name is different from ours.My husband and I have been married almost 6yrs.I live in the state of illinois.Can anyone please help us how to go about adopting.Any help will be greatly appreciated

[Grace1972]

My husband adopted my daugher in Illinois. It's kind of a simialar situation except her father wasn't in jail. He was not in the picture at all. The easiest way would be if he would consent. If so, then it would be less stressful for you. We didn't know where my daughters bio dad was and did searches etc. The judge ruled abondonment and we did not need consent. However your situation is a little different with him being in jail, but with the NO contact in all of that time it sounds like you would be able to go the abandonment route. Good Luck and hope this helps.

[noerose]

hi- my situation is also the same, I posted a thread in general adoptive parents- they may be able to help...we are actually just starting the process for my son to get adopted by his step-father as well, s far we are starting to relize we really just need an attorney, I don't know where my son's biological parent is but I have heard that if there is no contact sometimes they post it in the newspaper for him to respond or appear in court and if he doesn't sometimes they can start with the adoption...but I am not completely sure....I think if the bio-father disputes it they unfortunatley still give him chances, no matter how crappy he may be- even if mother knows best....i just noticed you posted this a while ago.. any luck yet???

[WendiW]

I think it would easiest to get the Termination of Parental rights papers signed.

I also think you want to contact a professional about how to go about telling your daughter. I think lying to her about her name may have not been a good idea.

[Alli_Driscoll]

Wow. I'm the product of a step-parent adoption and my mom lied to me about my name when I was little. I resent her so much for it. Do you think when she gets older she's not going to put the facts together? I will never trust my mother....I will never believe a word she says. You're only creating problems. Have some respect for her and be honest.

[#2Momto3]

In most states, incarceration precludes abandonement. Maybe you should wait until he gets out, he doesn't sound like the type to want to pay child support, so you could let him know that "there is one way you wouldn't have to pay support..."

Otherwise, if he doesn't want to be involved, than why not leave it at that? You could change her name legally without an adoption...