[daddyjake]

I'm new here, so bear with me. I'm the stepdad to an 8 year old girl in Oregon. My wife has custody of her daughter from a previous marriage, and we have been married for a year and a half. Our daughter, or my SD to be more precise, has lived with us for almost 3 years, during which time she has had limited visitation with biodad. Early on, he would utilize his visitation rights some of the time, maybe 30% of the time allotted to him (every other weekend and every other holiday according to the divorce) but then he joined the military and moved to Texas. Now we never hear from the guy.

... until now. He says he has been dating a woman for 2 weeks and *yippeee* they're getting married. So now he wants our daughter to be a flower girl in his wedding, which is to take place sometime before Christmas, and then he's going to move here with my SD's "new Stepmom and half-sister."

The biodad has a history of sex addiction (documented) which probably says enough about why we've been glad to have him out of our daughter's life, but he's also nuts in many other ways (ie he's marrying a gal he's been dating for 2 weeks.) Anyway, we don't want him here. He failed to pay child support for years, but the military took over last year and automatically withdrew, so on paper he's paying. I had always figured I'd adopt her anyway, but we thought he'd be further and further out of the picture and more willing to give up his rights. Any suggestions as to a course of action? I'll adopt her if I can, but I'd really like to quell the biodad's ideas that he's going to move to Oregon and live some fantasy sitcom "family life" with his biodaughter and new stepdaughter. I think if he knows he can't just waltz in with the same rights he had before he left, maybe he'll think twice.

Please- anything that might help. This guy is a predator- I just know it, but can't prove anything. From what I understand, I have to put my child in harm's way until something bad happens, before I can get anything accomplished in court. Pleae tell me I'm wrong.

Also, I don't know this guy's fiance from Adam, so I certainly don't want biodad telling my daughter this is her new Mommy and sister. She's supposedly aware of biodad's sex addiction (even attends counseling sessions with him, according to him) so she can't be all that stable either. And they've been dating TWO WEEKS! Surely a judge would take into account the probability of divorce in such a shotgun romance.

Thanks.