[tgage]

Well, I thought that I'd start another thread and tell my story about adopting my 4 kids.

I met my wife about 2-1/2 years ago. She'd been divorced for about 2 years and had sole physical and legal custody of her 4 children (then 14, 12, 9, 8) from her 1st marriage.

We went on our first date on December 1st, were engaged on February 1st and married on March 16th. Nothing like a quick romance!!! (Hey, it's Utah, it's ok...)

Things went along until the following fall when I lost my job of 8-1/2 years. I cashed in my retirement and we lived on my wife's part-time work at a local school.

My wife and I had checked with the attorney that did her divorce and he always said that her ex would have to give his permission for me to adopt her 4 kids. We put that away as something that would never happen. But, all along, we said that if there's a way to do it, it will come to us in due time.

Well, that time came about a year after I'd lost my job. Still unemployed and very poor, I decided to head up to the BYU Law Library in Provo and do some research into adoption. About 2 weeks later I filed the petition in our local district court - that was September 13th. On December 11th of that same year, the judge signed the adoption decree and we were a legal family.

What I did was petition the court to adopt the kids and claim that their biological father had abandoned them. He had really done so as he only paid child support when the Office of Recovery Services (ORS) could find him. In the 2-1/2 years he was liable for child support (of just over $400 per month) he amassed a total of $16,000 in back child support. I then had to prove that I'd tried to serve him by personal service and by registered letter. At that point, I motioned the court to allow me to serve him by public notice. We did that for 4 weeks and 30 days after the 4th notice was published, we were able to schedule the adoption hearing. By not responding, he'd given up all his rights as a father.

I was amazed at the amount of paperwork I had to submit to the court. And there wasn't anything done with it until the actual hearing was scheduled. The day before the hearing, I called the judge's clerk to see if everything was in order. I realized that the clerk couldn't give me any legal advice, but I at least wanted to see if I had any forms missing. When I called the court, the judge himself answered the phone!!! Yikes, I fumbled and stumbled and said, "I'm appearing before you tomorrow to adopt my step children and just wanted to know if there was anything missing so that I could get it before hand. He told me everything was in order and that he'd see me tomorrow at 9:00am!

The adoption was a breeze. Since I'd done my research, I knew that if my wife's ex showed up for the hearing - even though it had been more than 30 days since he'd been notifed - the judge could give him standing to be heard in the hearing. So, my wife and I sat there outside the courtroom watching the elevator door open up... She squeezed my hand in anticipation to see if it was her ex...

Well, my wife's ex didn't show up and we got into the court room. The baliff asked us if anyone else was going to show up and if not, he'd lock the courtroom door. My wife blurted out, "No, that's it, lock the door!" (knowing that if her ex showed up...)

We got a copy of the video tape that was used as the court record and it was very touching seeing my wife wipe a few tears away when the judge said, "by signing this document, I hereby permanently terminate the rights of ___________ (my wife's ex).

It was after the judge signed everything and closed the case file that he asked my wife if she thought that her ex really knew about the adoption. That was interesting because LEGALLY, my wife's ex knew - he was notified... My wife told the judge that she really didn't know because she hadn't heard from him in months.

It's been over 9 months now since the adoption. My two youngest boys (now 10 and 12) have called me dad since before my wife and I were married 2-1/2 years ago. Soon after we were married, my oldest son (now 15) started calling me dad and it's been about 6 months now that my daughter (16, almost 17) has been calling me dad - she most often calls me "daddy".

I've had foster children before and it was a very loosy-goosy situation where I never knew when they'd be there or not (subject to the crazy whims of their bio-mom). The comfort that I have now that the 4 children living in my house are mine and no one can say anything about when they visit or anything else is great.

If anyone is contemplating a step parent adoption, I feel that it's worth the work. I feel that it's something that will bring your family close together.

So... any other stories out there??? Post them here.