Ok, I was just recently married, and we were planning on having my husband adopt my son from a previous marriage. He is 4 1/2 now. His Bio father has been out of his life for the last 2 1/2 years, no child support, no birthday wishes, no xmas, nothing. He has even questioned his paternity. I have documentation that he wanted me to have my husb adopt my son so the state would stop pursuing child support from him. Now that I have actually gotten married, he has decided to harass me & threaten me about visits to a child who really has never known him, and that he abandoned almost 3 years ago. He still doesn't pay CS, still no attempts to contact for arrangements for a visit, but he has been known to harass & stalk me, and threatened to kill us (me & sp) several times. My question is this, does anyone know if in the state of Oregon there is an adoption process that would legally leave him out of the loop since he is such a threat. He was very abusive to us in the past, and I had a restraining order that has since expired. I am also getting a new restraining order since he has been harassing me again. The man is crazy, and has been obsessed with me for leaving him & getting remarried. He was gone out of sight & contact until I got married. If anyone can help me please advise. IF anyone has any resourced to recommend as well that would be great. Thanks

[lorelei2003]

I am so sorry to hear your story. Unfortunately through personal experience, the only way for your husband to adopt is to have a signed document from your ex stating that he agrees to the adoption. If you can get that, then you will be able to start the process of adoption. I wish I could give you better news than this, but that is just the way it works. You said you have some kind of documentation from the past, that may work, if he signed it (your ex) then you may want to contact and attorney and ask them if it will hold up for the adoption.

Good luck!
Rachel

Thanks for your reply. I have kept all his emails. And his father has them too. I have also learned about a few statutes here in Oregon that might help ma & others as well. There are great resources out on the web. One of which is: http://www.osbar.org/public/legalinfo/1136.htm

Quote: If a parent has deserted or neglected a child for one year before the filing of the petition, the court can allow the adoption despite that parent's objection.

Another great resource: http://adoptionsolutions.com/general...aws/or_law.htm
Quote:The husband's consent is not necessary if there is evidence that: 4. the husband has not contributed or tried to contribute to the support of the child. Oregon Revised Statutes Sections 109.305 to 109.500 and 432.405 to 432.430 (1997).

It has taken a while, but I am swiftly learning this process. I have also learned that even if there were 'accidental or incidental' visits they can be disregarded by the courts. My ex is a deadbeat through and through. The only thing that matters to him is money, and there's plenty of proof that he is unfit including his felony records. There is no relationship with my son & my ex, and my son doesn't know him, and doesn't recognize his pictures either. I will continue to research this, and we are filing for my husband to adopt him next week. I will let you all know how this goes. If I find more resources I will update my posting. If anyone else has any useful info please advise, I am in Southern Oregon & I am looking for a good lawyer that has a high sucess rate in these adoptions.

Thanks & Good luck to you all!

[lorelei2003]

That is wonderful news! Good luck with the adoption, hope everything goes smooth and swift!