[mjk66]

Can anyone provide me with good photolisting websites which are worthwhile to review. I live in NJ but would consider out of state if possible.

Thank you in advance,

Matthew

[Georgia Mom]

The biggest national one is www.adoptuskids.org. If you go to www.comeunity.com/adopt you will find links to all states that have websites, as well as other national and international listings.

[kmalay]

Try the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse under contacts. Hopefully this link will work

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/contacts.html

Adoptuskids.org is being used by many of the states now. Good luck

[mjk66]

Hi Kim,

Thank you for your reply. Where are you adopting your next 2 children from. I'm interested in hearing more.
What state are you from?

Thanks again.

Matt

You may also e-mail me at mjksafety@yahoo.com

[kmalay]

Matt we live in Illinois and we are hopefully adopting through Iowa. I say hopefully because we have been been selected for a sibling group, but we have to be approved by one more person(3 person approval process in this case). Once that person agrees that it is a match we will be able to meet the kids. If there is anything else I can help you with please let me know and good luck.

[Pammuppet]

We are from VT and currently hoping to adopt a child from
Maryland who is currently in our home. Photolisting are tough they are not updated frequently and usually you finally get someone on the phone who tells you that the child you are interested has already placed or there is no TPR or the child has major diablities that are not listed in the profile.....so good luck. The best programs I know of after searching for 2years on the internet are "The Adoption Exchange" and MARE- Mass. Adoption Resource exchange. Good Luck.

[melanie lennon]

My husband and I are fostering-to-adopt two children from Colorado. We identified them on the adoptex.org website (includes Colorado, Utah and other western states) last March. We immediately replied to the website and got a call back from the social worker within a week! Although our homestudy was not complete, they talked with us and we were able to get the homestudy completed before the agency went to committee to determine which family would receive the two children.

We were thrilled beyond words when we were told that we had been selected as the family for our two children. In July, our son and daughter (ages 7 and 10) joined our family in Ohio.

Photolistings can be misleading in a positive manner too. The listing indicated that our daughter had Adjustment Disorder and our son would have difficulties in school (he had repeated first grade).

A recent evaluation by a psychologist on our daughter indicates that, at this time, she does not need any further therapy (no diagnoses). She has many friends, has been placed in the gifted and talented program and is the apple of her daddy's eye!

Our son won "Student of the Month" in November. He has been placed in the gifted readers program and his teachers feel he should skip third grade.

Both of our children are going through the grieving process. But nine days out of ten, they are regular kids who forget to pick up their dirty socks, whine about eating peas and love to wrestle like the pros! I wish you lots of luck and definitely recommend looking at adoptex.org. They do a good job in Colorado with keeping the site up-to-date and calling prospective families!!!

[mjk66]

Dear Melanie,

Thank you for replying to my post. That is a great story with a happy ending. I'm relieved to find that there is Hope and there are success stories.

How long did it take to have the children placed after your initial contact?

Thanks
Matthew & Michele

[melanie lennon]

Dear Matthew and Michele,

Our story is kind of complex because we had to receive our training in a different county than the one we reside in. So, we were dealing with two different counties and it took us seven months to go through the training and homestudy process (which isn't unusual). We applied in December of 2001 to become foster or adoptive parents (knowing all along that we wanted to adopt). In late March of 2002, we identified our children at adoptex.org. At that time, we had already submitted every piece of paper they wanted along with our fingerprints, etc. We were only waiting for the agency to actually come to our house and write the homestudy!!
The agency received 18 homestudies for our children by mid-April (at which time they removed the children's pictures from the website). Due to vacations (Thank God!), they had to postpone going to committee on the children until mid-May. We had submitted our DRAFT homestudy to them (our county agency is fantastic in that they were willing to do this!). By the time they went to committee, I had fed-exed the completed homestudy to them and my social worker in Ohio had called them five or six times to talk to them about us.
We flew to Colorado and spent ten days in June with our children. In early July, I flew back out there and brought our children home in time for the fourth of July! Our first six weeks together were really rough. Our kids tested us upside down, backwards and forwards. We all had to learn and adjust a lot.

As I mentioned, Colorado is an excellent state to adopt from. They have an abbreviated interstate adoption process that allows the paperwork to go directly from their county to your state office.
One lesson I learned - you can choose! In most states, you can go to a different county than the one you live in to be certified. So, if you're unhappy with the county's progress in completing the homestudy, then call up a nearby county! Let your social worker know that you may pursue certification in another county - you'll be surprised what happens!

[LotAkids]

Melanie,
It's been a long time since your last post, but hopefully you'll see this.
My husband and I live in Colorado and are interested in adopting from Ohio. Your experience sounds like a great one and I agree that Colorado is a great state to adopt through. We are adopting a one year old boy and so far, everything has been as smooth and as quick as could be. We will finalize him in October. But I'm wondering not only your advice about adopting from Ohio to Colorado, but also do you think there is any reason that we couldn't start another adoption while our son's is waiting for finalization? We don't want to miss out on this little girl.
Liz

[ak-mom1]

I have found that the site adoptablekids.com has a large variety of photolistings (about 2000).
Once on the site click "browse all kids" and you will find about 70 pages of photos.
Good luck.
~Janice

[melanie lennon]

Unfortunately, you're going to hear a lot of agencies tell you things like "we like to wait a year AFTER the finalization before we'll consider you for another child".

So, it may take months until the adoption is finalized and then they want you to wait six months after that before they'll even talk to you! I know because we've recently started looking for a boy to add to our family. Due to social workers leaving and other hassles, we didn't finalize until November of 2003! So, we're being told that we can START looking around July - two years after our children moved in with us.

I understand why the agencies want you to wait. My husband and I went from zero children to two active, loud and busy kids. We've really adjusted our lifestyles. So, I guess the agency just wants to make sure we can handle all the adjustments. They've seen too many families that can't! Unfortunately, for those of us who know that both marriage and children are life time commitments, well, we get stuck waiting as long as the children do!

So, I know how you feel about that little girl. You just wonder if you'll ever have another opportunity like this one. Unfortunately, you probably will. There are plenty of children in the system! And more keep being added to it everyday.

I wouldn't get too pushy about the issue with your social workers. They'll be looking to make sure you can handle the one-year-old. Give them the chance to see how well you are doing. Then, as they become confident, talk about how much having a sibling meant to you and/or your husband. Sometimes, I'll just call our Ohio social worker to update her on how my kids are doing. And I'll add some little tidbits about my son playing with his cousins and wanting a little brother.

How did you find a child from Ohio to adopt? Ohio's website is notoriously out-of-date. Most of the children listed have potential families BEFORE they're even posted. We've had very poor luck in OHio. And this is for a couple wanting to adopt children over the age of six!!

[nhkid]

I am so happy to say that we have been matched with a child from another state. i saw his picture in the mare book and went to an adoption party to meet him.
We are in the process of setting up a visitation schedule. He may come as soon as the school year lets out. We are very excited by this news it will be hard to wait but we will try. Just wanted to share the good news!

[bumpkin]

Congratulations!!!! You must be so excited. I look at the mare book every month!!!!, nice to hear that something comes from them.

Can you elaborate how things went, did you know he was going to be at the party?

Bumpkin

[julieanne]

Hello all,

I live in NJ. This is the second time we are doing a homestudy.

Previously, when I attempted to adopt throught he state, NJ matched me one time and I turned down the match because the child's needs were beyond my capability as a single parent. I was never again presented with another child which I thought was strange, considering I was looking for an older (7-12-years-old range) Black, biracial or Latino child and accpeting of many types of impairments.

Anyway, now that I am going trhough this again, I want to be proactive about my search. I am on the photolistings all the time. Unfrotunately, I have not even mentioned this to my homefinder because in the past, I know when people wanted to look out-of-state they were met with resistance.

My homefinder stated she thought my approval should come between August and September. She says she can't schedule my second/final home visit until August because she is so busy.

At what point can/should I begin inquiring about specific children? I am specifically referring to children whom are out-of-state (located on photolistings). NJ's website does not appear to be updated frequently although early on in this process, I informed DYFS that I was interested in two boys on the website (they never responded).

I previously contacted a social worker in Nevada about a certain child and at the time, I thought I would possibly have my HS by July.

Do I just hold tight and wait until August/September gets here?

Or when I see children I am interested in, do I complete an interest form with my information and my homefinder's information even though I am aware that my paperwork is not complete? Will doing this annoy social workers on both ends?

I still have my old homestudy, should I offer a copy of this to social workers in the interim?

Also, I found a Wednesday's Child web site for Washoe County, Nevada, that showed several very young children (some Black and bi or multiracial) whom had been adopted. Do you know if Nevada frequently has young Black children available? Or were these children just models and had not actually been featured on Wednesday's Child? DYFS says it's virtually impossible to obtain a young childd unless it is straight foster care (which I am not interested in) and some foster-adopt situations. I am more comfortable in situations where TPR has already been done and would possibly be open to a toddler.

I appreciate any insight.

Thanks!

Jules