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Originally Posted By Lynn

We have been approved in Tenn. to adopt/foster adopt for about a year. We have been called once with a match from the react database. We wish to adopt an loder (6-12) child & will take a sibling group of 2. We are told that "there is no reaon for us not to be getting calls all the time from react matches" - yet here we sit. We are a strong, happy, secure family. You would think with all the children they have available for adoption they would try to place one with us but here we sit. No one calls. If we call a couple times it is 'too much' we are 'too aggressive' and this puts people 'off' we are told. So what do you do? Do these agencies get more $$ to keep these kids on the 'rolls' - so they dont want to adopt them out?

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Originally Posted By Lee Ann

I know it's frustrating and I don't understand it at all! I went through a lot of the same thing waiting for my daughter who came to live with me when she was 11. She is now almost 14. Where in TN do you live? I am in Williamson County and went through the Center for Adoption in Nashville. Please keep me posted on your situation or if you just need to vent you can e-mail me at leeannr@juno.com.

Good luck and I hope to hear from you.

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Originally Posted By Ellen

Are you inquiring about all the children you see that you are interested in on the TN photolistings and then sending your homestudy? I think TN has lots of great children and I don't even live there! I would only make the initial call, a follow up call after your homestudy is sent, and then maybe 1x every two weeks to ask more questions about staffing dates etc. or things about the child you are interested in to show that you are interested...that shouldn't be too many calls. Usually I find TN workers friendly yet difficult to reach and they don't return calls.

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Originally Posted By Lynn

We are in Maury County. We check the online listings along with the TAP book constantly. We are on the REACT database. We do have alot of wonderful children available & we have put in for quite a few - most have not even had their selection committee date & it has been months & months (we also attend the parties these children attend)

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Originally Posted By Janet

Good Luck to all that want to adopt from TN!
We have been foster to adopt for 12 years! We have had many children that we thought was going to come through and then at the last minute something happens! We had a little girl last year that we have had for over 2 years. Her mother was out of the picture for 6 months or more at a time. The termintaion was SUPPOSE to have been started 4 different times...we found out later it had not even happen until the last time. Her bio. mother was gone from Dec. to June. They had started termination and then BAM! it all falls apart. TO make a long story short, she sent back to her mother last May! We have adopted once through a private agaency out of Memphis (an older child) and once thru the state...after being scared to death that it would fall through in the 3 years of waiting for it to happen! We want to adopt again...but I know it probably will not happen. We are looking into lawyer adodtions and other agencies now. I know they will cost more, but the peace of mind is worth it. Some friends of ours got both of their children (a year apart) straight from the hospital just by word of mouth! They sent letters to all their relatives and ask them to keep their ears open and get the word out that they knew someone wanting to adopt. IT WORKED! It worked for some other friends of ours that adopted a child over 5 years of age that way! I just don't have much faith in the TN system anymore. We have had our heart broken (not to mention the childs) over 7 times.
Once the social worker even told the kids they were staying with us just to be yanked back and given back to their parents after 2 years of no contact!!! Those poor kids clung to us and screamed. They had to tear them off of us! There are alot of good workers out there that fight hard for the kids and then there are just as many (if not more)that don't give a hoot one way or the other! I wish you all good luck and God Bless! Maybe you will get lucky!! It is like spinning a giant game wheel!

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Originally Posted By Judy

We have a 15 yr old foster daughter that we are hoping to adopt . Her b.mother signed voluntary termination papers on Dec 6th last year. Do you think it will take a long time before the adoption is completed ? Have you ever tried to adopt one this age ? The state told us because she is over 14 she can choose her own adoptive famuily. She refuses to go anywhere else . We have had her for almost 7 mos. I thought because her b.mom signed voluntary it would be a simple process.Do you think it will be hard and take a long time > Please reply asap ..Thanks

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Originally Posted By Lynn

If the parents rights are terminated & the child has lived with you over 6 months it should not take that long for your adoption of her to go through - especially since she is 15 & wants it also. I hope the father has no rights in this (you didn't say). It is wonderful that you have found eachother & that you want to adopt an older child. We are hoping to adopt one that is about 7-12 yrs old.

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Originally Posted By Judy

To Lynn ..The Birth Father is deceased...Glad you think it will not take long ! I sure hope it doesn't ..We are anxiously awaiting the day that she becomes OUR daughter ! I am surprised you have not already got a child since you are willing to adopt an older one ...Most ppl want babies as we all know huh ?
Good Luck in your search !

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Originally Posted By Brenda

WOW! Tenn. sounds as bad as KY. We have all of those problems too!