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Old 03-06-2012, 07:37 PM
beanphd beanphd is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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Within family adoption running into roadblocks

I have what I think is a unique situation. My 21 year old daughter is pregnant and expecting in about 8 weeks. She knows that she cannot handle a baby on her own, and the father is even worse.

My ex-husband, my daughter's former step father, desperately wants to raise a baby. He has been in a long term relationship with a woman whom he has known since 3rd grade.

My daughter is completely in favor of him adopting the baby, as he will allow her to see the baby from time to time and we can trust him to stay true to his word about that.

The problem is this:

He and his girlfriend want to get married to raise this child together, before she is born and would like to adopt the baby as a couple. Some agenceis are willing to do this, and other agencies are not. The agencies who will work with them are saying that a judge may NOT allow it because of the length of marriage.

He would be willing to adopt as a single man, and all the agencies are willing to do this, BUT because his employer is exempt from the Family Medical Leave Act he will NOT be able to spend the first few weeks with the baby, but his future wife CAN take the 8-10 weeks off, but NOT if she isn't involved in the adoption.

What I am trying to find out, is how can we go about finding out the chances of a judge denying this adoption? They will pass all checks fine, no bad history, good jobs, etc. They are both 40 years old and in great health. The only reason they could be denied, is because of the length of the marriage, as they would get married within the next couple of weeks. This seems like a no-brainer, but we keep being told that it won't work out with a judge.
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Old 03-28-2012, 11:42 AM
MamaDeb MamaDeb is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 202
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Depends on where you are, but they may be able to adopt as co-parents. This happens often with nontraditional families.
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