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Originally Posted By must be nice...

must be nice..i am 36 yesrs old married with 3 kids ages 13 and twin 3 year old boy and girl..we have to pay high insurance ((no dental comes out of the pocket)) cloth feed ect ect ect ect ect ect....now i have close friends that adopted twin girls they get free insurance with dental free lunch at school , and the kicker they get a check every month !! wow whos kids are they ?? if they wanted kids they should call them there kids instead of the states kids !!!!!!!! my famly has what they need but this famly has a new car new truck new house , hell they make more money than us but still they get STATE checks every month ...if you really want kids and want to call them yours take them and rase them with out state help.the money that comes out of my check every month pays for the kids free insurans free lunch, there for there STATE OWNED KIDS and mine ..hate to sound so mean but this gets to me when i work my *** off every day to make ends meet and then some one gets a free ride...WHERE ELSE BUT THE GREAT U.S.A......I CAN BE EMAILED AT CSCC4@YAHOO.COM please feel free to email me if you can tell me how they get all this FREE stuff..................

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Originally Posted By Jules

Wow are you hostile. The difference is that these poor children usually have enormous emotional and sometimes physical disabilities that require treatment that sometimes lasts their entire lifetimes. You are very fortunate to have healthy children that you love and choose not to give up. You are also very fortunate not to have drug/drinking or neglect issues within your biological family. These children don't deserve to do without the medical and psychological care that they deserve and desperately need. The state government allows these funds to help give this child a somewhat normal existence. If you chose to have 3 children then you knowingly took on the responsiblity of the debts...Foster and adoptive families take on the problems and ultimately the debt of the birth parents. It is a courageous and loving thing to give your home and heart to someone you don't have to....I understand that you are angry because the government doesn't give you the added benefits, but you should be thankful that you don't need them. Maybe instead of posting your anger in message boards such as these you should take some time to browse the childrens profiles instead. Maybe if you took the time to see all of the problems these children have then your heart would go out to them too.

The ones that you should be angry about the government helping are those fortunate enough to have children of their own, but they lack the responsibility to do what is necessary to take care of them. These are the people who abandon these children or they continue to have children and live off of the system all the while ruining the ability for their children to have normal lives.

What makes you and I different is that you were given the ability to choose to have children...I was not. You see I could have chosen to adopt from a private agency and get a beautiful newborn with no problems and pretend that we had a normal life...but I chose Foster Care and Ultimately adoption of a beautiful 12 year old girl who was denied the right to her childhood! The money the state provided us was barely enough to make a difference...but the love that I was able to give DID make the difference. My little girl will never be like other children because she lived in the system! She has nightmares of being alone and is always going to require counseling due to the life that she was forced to lead.

I beg you to change your feelings and instead look at the good that can come from this.
Tonight when you kiss your children goodnight remember that you are fortunate because you CAN provide for them and because you chose to have and love them! I too chose, but instead I didn't choose perfection...I chose one who truly needed me. I have NO regrets!

Jules

[Archive]

jules tryed to email this to you but it keep comming back undeliverable may want to check you mail server ? any way heres my thoughts once again...

jules, i agree on a lot you said but heres a few that i dont..
YOU SAID..
The difference is that
> these poor children usually have enormous emotional
> and sometimes physical disabilities that require
> treatment that sometimes lasts their entire
> lifetimes.

i hate to say it but dont even children that are not adopted have problems ? i have a friend that lost every thing he had because his little girl had cancer and he did not have health insurance (because it took every thing he had just to provide for the famly) now how fair is it for a man that has kids of his own and worked every day of his life loose it all, but the adopted parents never even have a worrie of going to the doctor and haveing to make that bill when it comes in the mail, and even more most parents that give up or have there kids taken away are still living the american dream and most even have more kids, my beef is let the real parents pay the adoptive parents to raise them, that way people like my friend that lost every thing could afford insurance for his family, i also know a family that adopted and turned down all the free crap because they wanted to be parents and provide for there kid and not have the state raise there kid, i think foster famlys should get all the help thats is out there BUT when you decide you want to take the child and give it you name that should mean take it as your own !


you said>>>

you chose to
> have 3 children then you knowingly took on the
> responsibility of the debts...Foster and adoptive
> families take on the problems and ultimately the
> debt of the birth parents. It is a courageous and
> loving thing to give your home and heart to someone
> you don't have to..

wow yes i took on the responsibility of the debts,there were no promises that my kids would be healthy and happy it sounds like you are saying i love mine more than a adoptive father would love his so give me money and i will love them more

you said
It is a courageous and
> loving thing to give your home and heart to someone
> you don't have to..

would you have done it if love was all you got when you took them ??

i hate to sound so mad but seems the american dream falls short to the hard working man and into to lap of others, like i said if the real parents are not dead they should have to foot the bill of there kids ! im sure that if me and my wife split up the judge would make sure i paid my child support but the man that is to sorry to even try to raise his kids and gives them away the state will pick up the bill and pay hmmmm that just doesnt work for me...
the bad part is that there are kids out there that need homes and the only way to get them the home is to pay
some one so that it can be called a courageous and
> loving thing to give your home and heart to someone
> you don't have to..

you said..
I didn't choose
> perfection...I chose one who truly needed me. I have
> NO regrets!

wow again, i did not choose i was given and yes i was given 3 that truly need me also
NO regrets
"perfection is not choosen it is WORKED FOR ! "



just my thoughts and im sure lots of others

CSCC4

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You should spend more time thinking about your own life and less time thinking about what others are doing. You might be a happier( and healthier )instead of someone with a big nasty chip on their shoulder.
Get a life!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Dena

My husband and I adopted a 9 yr. old little girl and do not need the money that the state provides to support her, but we are accepting it. OUR daughter, not “the state’s kid” has a private tutor because she is a year behind in school. We are buying a piano (our own money) and she will begin taking piano lessons in the fall (subsidy payments). Then, once she catches up in school -- God willing -- and her behaviors diminish, we will enroll her in private school (subsidy payments). When she came into our home her greatest aspiration for the future was to work in K-Mart and now she can see herself not only graduating from high school, but going onto college. We, not the state, will pay for that as well. Because of the money that the state provided, OUR daughter will have advantages that we would not be able to pay for out of our own pockets, and for that I am grateful. She has had so many disadvantages in her short life, I am glad that we can provide so much more for her. My husband and I -- and probably your “close friend” -- would never think of spending the money we receive from the state on ourselves. The subsidy provided is to assist the parents in improving the life of a child who has been deprived and that is what we are doing. Why don’t you ask “your close friend” exactly how he is applying the money ? You would probably be surprised that the purchase of his new things came out of his own pocket. Finally, yes, the state does provide Medicaid, however, OUR daughter is on my husband’s health insurance -- which he pays for, because the physicians who do accept Medicaid are few and far between.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Kari

I agree that when you take on the responsibilty of a child that has been put through the system, that child will and does need extra help and things to make a child be a child...i was not adopted but as a child we didn't have much, yes my parents did all they could do, but as an adult, what i went through as a child has kept with me...My husband and I grew up much diffrently....he had a true family...mine we were there and that was about it. We make sure that with our biological son that he has the resources that he needs and i do sgree if you have a child biological or not that has major problems than you should have help...the state will provail for both the biological and adopted child if both are needed...we are wanting to foster/adopt a child, we would prob do the same...accept the checks so that we can make up for some of the hurt that these children have gone through and put it aside so that when they turn 18, they willhave this money for theirselves, we do not need any help with our son or any other, but if you do not accept it, the state will use it on someone that might have 8 kids and can't afford 1, to me that is wrong..My heart goes out to ANY one that is willing to take a child that is not wanted or can't be taken care of other than placing them with the state...that is no way to grown up...I personally find it hard to beleive that anyone would get mad at a couple that has chosen to adopt because of the state helping...think of it this way the state can either help or foot the entire bill if they didnt get adopted, no one wins with that especially the child....EVERY child needs a family of their own to be loved and feel safe.

thank you

[FOSTERMOMMY2002]

I JUST HAD TO SPEAK TO THIS. I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT ADOPTIVE PARENTS CARRYING THE BALL THEMSELVES. BUT, THE STATE MAKES IT AVAILABLE TO THESE CHILDREN. THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS PAY TAXES AND ARE CITIZENS WITH ALL THE RIGHTS THERE ENTAILED. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO USE THE MONEY AS THEY SEE FIT. PERSONALLY, OUR STATE MONEY IS GOING IN TO A TRUST FUND FOR OUR SON. THEN WHEN HE IS OLDER, HE WILL HAVE A GOOD FINNANCIAL START.

MANY OF THESE KIDS HAVE BATTERED AND BRUISED BY THIS OLD WORLD WE LIVE IN. IT MAKES IT EVEN HARDER WHEN FOLKS MAKE IGNORANT AND INKIND REMARKS.

WE REALLY NEED TO THINK BEFORE WE SPEAK OR WRITE.

[lucyjoy]

So, if a parent needs the subsidy to care for a child, they should just leave the child sitting in foster care and let the state pay for his needs there?

[adoptingNC]

We also are adopting a 9 yr old girl, I hope that the money from the state will be an encouragement for people to adopt from foster care rather than go to other countries, we have so many kids right here in the us that need homes. As far as the money goes my husband and I have been paying taxes all our life and never used any kind of government assistance even when we were really poor!! We never believed in welfare. But with this at least our tax money is coming back to us so that we can help a child who needs it.

[Tasha]

Hi,

I know this is an old thread, or at least the original post is old. But just for more information on this subject, I know that my parents got subsidies for two of the older adoptions of two sibling groups. My brother and sister's subsidy was from Social Security which came to them after the death of their bioligical mother, since she had worked for many years. I know Social Security is available to anyones family who has paid into the system. Once both my siblings reached 18, the money went to them untill they were a certain age, and the age changed if they were still in school.

With my other sibling group, two brothers, I believe were subsidies from the government. These were kids that had been in seven foster homes, and in between had lived with their bioligical mother. They were 7 and 9 when they came to us. My mom said there would not have been a way we could have afforded two more children if they had not come with subsidies. I can tell you we did not live extravagantly!

Just wanted to give a little more information on where the money can come from.

Take care.