[deidredahn]

My husband and I are foster parents to a 17 year old girl. We are planning to adopt her, which she wants. Her birth mother's rights were taken away 7 years ago, and her birth father at that time was "unknown." Recently the birth mother contacted the supposed birth father, and to make a long story short, a paternity test will be done next week to find out if it's him.

My question is this: if he IS her birth father, could that make it harder for us to adopt her? If he wanted to try to get custody of her, and she didn't want that, what would happen? I really don't think he could take her if she was unwilling, given her age and the fact that she is thriving in a loving, stable home.

I don't think he will want to remove her from our home, because he doesn't seem like that kind of person, but of course we have questions. Would he have to sign his rights away, or what rights does he even have? We're not going to move forward on anything with the adoption until we are sure that our foster daughter is certain that's what she wants (her feelings may change or waver if he turns out to be her biological father).

[Prettyboicris]

Alot of time has passed and she is in a stable home. I know some of these things vary from state to state but she is old enough to say that she would like to stay with your family is she so chooses. After 17 years any rights he had is long gone. He would have to prove a lot! I think if he were her Father then it might possibly be part of the adoption agreement for him to have some contact with her.
If you havent already check for your state what the statute in on that.

Best of luck

[BrandyHagz]

After 17 years any rights he had is long gone.

That's really debatable.

Did he know she existed?

17 years ago - the Putative Father Registry wasn't in place, so his rights couldn't have been terminated via that method. If his rights were terminated using the "Unknown Father" laws (whatever they were) in your state at the time that the birth mothers rights were terminated - then there is likely very little (if any) chance that his rights are still intact.

But simply saying - After 17 years any rights he had is long gone - isn't true. There are a number of instances where 17 years would not translate to rights being 'long gone'. A fathers rights don’t just ‘dissolve’ over time. If he was unaware of the child, there is a very good chance he could have some legal leg to stand on.

In all 50 states, 17 year old children DO have a voice in the process (they can decline to be adopted) however – the reverse (decline to live with a legal parent) is more questionable.

Hopefully, if the father is interested in doing what is in the best interest of the child – he considers the relationship she already has with your family as well as her wishes, if she’s vocalized them.

[DianeS]

You said her mother's rights were terminated 7 years ago, but what about her father's?

All states have procedures to terminate an "unknown" bio father's rights. Was that done? (BrandyHagz asked the same question.)

If the rights of "all unknown birth fathers" were terminated, then this man has no rights even if proven to be the biological father. I have heard of people petitioning the court to have their rights reinstated, but I've never heard of a court granting that reinstatement.

But if the courts never did terminate the rights of the unknown birth father, then he still has rights. Probably he has the right to decide if he wants to pursue custody of his child, and probably has the right to work a case plan if he desires. Especially if he never knew he had a child in the first place.

It's going to get sticky before it gets cleared up, that's for sure. Who is paying for the paternity test? Who gave permission for the girl to be tested as part of it? If the state is going along with this test, then chances are the unknown birth father never had his rights terminated, and that means it'll get very sticky.

Hang in there.

[manni28]

I'm not sure, but the fact the bmom knew who the bdad was all along, and only named him when her rights are going to be terminated. Means the courts will take this into consideration and mostly likely let the child decide; if not throw the case out.

I find it very hard to believe the courts will not take the word of a child (who will be of legal age in one year) into consideration. To be honest, I seriously doubt the judge will disrupt the adoption and force the child to live with a stranger who is biologically related to her ( and of a different sex), it's very unlikely. To be on the safe side, I would consult a lawyer.

I wish you and your family the best.

-Manni

[In_limbo_for_now]

I asked a simular question of a childs lawyer. He said that the birth dad would have to show that there was intentional fraud by the Birth mom. Then he might be able to have some rights restored.

[deidredahn]

I just looked at the email from the case worker again, and she said "There has already been a termination of parental rights on the unknown father" so I guess it might be easier than I thought!

[BrandyHagz]

Well, it depends - if he argues that the birth mom knew who the father was and didn't share that information with him or anyone else - there could be an issue regarding 'fraud' and he may have to be terminated all over again.

Honestly, if there was nothing to worry about regarding this - he wouldn't have the 'right' to ask for a DNA test because those rights would have been terminated.

Sounds like there might actually be some question as to his rights, which is why they are doing the test to start with.

Just make sure you are kept informed

[momraine]

Even if he does have rights, you can wait till she is 18 and then if she wants to be adopted she can choose that.

[deidredahn]

Actually we requested the paternity test on behalf of our foster daughter. She's wanted to know who her biological father is for her whole life. Honestly, we only want what's best for her, and if she were to decide she didn't want to be adopted, or she wanted to spend a lot of time with her birth father (if it's him), we are OK with that (if he turns out to be a good guy, anyway).