[PatientPersistence]

Hello,

I have just found this forum, and hope it will be a good one for information and if nothing else moral support and advise.

This past month(ish) I have begun the process (made contact) to adopt my very troubled, very young nieces newborn baby girl (I will call the baby "J" and my niece "JS"). J was removed from JS's custody at 4 days old (before she left the hospital) and went directly into foster care. Since then several unpleasant things have gone on with regards to JS and her mother, my ex-SIL, including threats towards me and other family members (and the social worker and the fp's ...). It is messy.

Anyways, I have added my name to the "interested in adopting J" list (so to speak) and the sw seemed to like who I was. I was also advised, and had been planning on, contacting an attorney. The sw made it out to be something that would be in my favor if I did this right off - which I will be doing ASAP. (It took a bit to actually contact the sw directly).

I am divorced (he was abusive); I have overwhelming support from family, friends and co-workers alike; I am squeaky clean regarding anything like drugs, drinking, parties, criminal records etc; I want this and have considered the possibility since learning she was pregnant; but my income is not as high as it could be, but I do live with a supportive family member and this situation is secure for minimum of 5 years, and also I have a business I have been working on that would allow me to work from home on the days I do not go out to my current job. Because of work schedules there'd not be need of daycare as either me or the fm I live with would be available to mind J, go to play groups, swimming, whatever.

I guess what I am mostly concerned with is the money issue. Would they, given this situation, see this as a bad option or because of the support and ability (on my behalf) to raise a child compensate for short-term financial restrictions? I make enough to support J in this living situation, just not many extras. With this business my income will at least triple, but it is not a proven business yet. I have owned small businesses before, they were different than what I will be doing now, but they were run well.

Any advise?

Oh, and I am in BC, Canada and this would be an inter-provincial family adoption.

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

As long as you can support yourself, the money issue shouldn't be a problem. I'm in the US, so can't speak for Canada, but I know that here there is a very strong preference for placing children with family members.

[MilehighDad]

I am also in the states, so I can't speak in detail about how your province will handle things, but my understanding is that in general it is similar. First, I commend you for stepping forward and offering to adopt your great-niece. Contacting her social worker is certainly necessary and you seem to be taking all the right steps. Understand that you will have to have a home study completed just like any other foster or adoptive family has to complete before you will be eligible to have her placed with you. The more pro-active you can be in that process, the quicker it will go.

It does not sound to me like your income is going to be an issue at all. My only advice, though, would be to be careful about how you handle your business in regards to your free time. You want to make sure you have time to bond with a child and care for them, even if you have another family member who can help. If your time is too overbooked, it could be bad for a child, and a good social worker will see this potential conflict and may not approve you. An infant is not likely to appreciate any "extras" that additional income will bring, but they will certainly appreciate all the snuggling time you can give.

Best wishes

[PatientPersistence]

My home business won't be taking a ton of my time ... it will mostly be putting things together for a courier pickup. once or twice a week as orders / auctions / etc come in. My income as it is now covers what it needs to, and also here there is a thing called baby bonus, kind of like a tax return every month to help offset the cost of having a child so that too will also help even if my business crashes and burns (in which case I have other ideas I have half worked out which I'd pick up to replace this one, but this one looks like it will be good ).

Also, I have looked up lawyers, and have contacted an agency locally here that has said they can (and are licensed to) do home studies, and there is another group within blocks of where I live that likely also does them (calling them is on my to-do list).

I know here they do prefer to place with family, so I think my chances of being selected is pretty good, but I do worry about the money thing. I know my niece will not like if I get J, but honestly, her opinion, at this point, doesn't really matter. Whats best for J is what matters, and I really honestly feel that is with me.

This site is really really encouraging and has been a HUGE relief. I have been reading the threads and it has really put my mind at ease and lowered my anxiety to an even slight degree. Very informative and straight forward as well which is nice. No sugar coating or anything it seems. Awesome!