[sillybunny]

I am hoping those of you who have been through the adoption process might have some advice.

My husband and I completed our GPS course and Homestudy a few months ago. We are hoping to adopt. We have several homestudies out for children in other states (we live in NY). How long should we expect to wait for a referral? We knew this would not happend overnight but I want to be prepared.

Also, does anyone know how families are selected? I have this horrible vision of a bunch of tired social workers sitting at a table with piles of homestudies making "good" and "bad" piles. I'm a social worker myself. My husband is a children's mental health worker so we are imagining the worst. I don't always think our professional friends are honest with us and I want to hear from someone with first hand knowledge.

[foster_bub]

It's been our experience where your local agency and state won't be overly excited that you have gone out of state to adopt. It creates more paperwork and headaches for them. I would expect it take much longer to adopt out of state rather than your home state.

I'm not trying to persuade you to stay within your home state. My wife and I are in your shoes and are at a standstill. Our agency just does not want to help us. In fact they make it harder. We're foster parents with a home study that will be also be used for adoption, HOWEVER the adoption folks say we don't have an approved home study until we're matched with a child. When we ask to have our home study sent out of state they say we don't have an adoption home study, though it will be IDENTICAL to our foster parent home study, the only exception is who signs off on it. Just plain old B.S. and creates endless bureaucracy.

As far as matching you, well that's primarily based on your age group and 'issues' you're willing to accept. If you chose older children with any issues you'll probably be matched immediately. If you choose a baby with no issues the wait will be painfully long.

We upped our age limit by 2 years and have received more calls.. we're still waiting after 7 mos.