[nikmarks]

My husband and I just completed our home study and are hoping to adopt an infant. During our interview we said that we'd really like to adopt an infant under a year old. The case manager just laughed as if we were being unreasonable, then she tried to get us to raise the age range, and to accept a sibling group. I understand that infants are harder to get, but it is really impossible?? We are not trying to be unreasonable, but we are a younger couple (27 and 34) and we'd like to start off slowly...an infant really is the best option for us right now.
Not only that, but we have been dealing with some infertility issues ourselves, and just recently we found out what might be causing it.....and it is something that can be easily fixed. If we were to accept a sibling group and then get pregnant shortly after, we would practically have an instant family...something we aren't ready for. My husband is in the military and gets deployed from time to time. So, starting off small is what we really want, yet by our case manager's response, it sounds like we will be waiting a long,long time. We are willing to wait.. That's not a problem. Hopefully we won't have to wait too, too long, however, since being in the military we move every three years or so... Does anyone know the chances of us being able to adopt an infant within a 2 year range (any longer than that and we will be stationed in another state), or do you think we are wasting our time trying to adopt through the state?
Does anyone have any advice or knowledge on how long it normally takes?? We really do want to get an infant through the State but I'm a little discouraged by our case manager. We feel pressured to accept what we don't feel like we can handle, and it just doesn't seem right.
We live in GA, and we are willing to adopt any race, which ups our chances. Here, all African American children one year or older are consider special needs. I don't know if it's the same in every state or not, but the chance of us getting an African baby is more likely than a white baby here....which is great for us. We would love that. But it still seems like the impossible. Any advice???

[afolc]

My husband and I are also adopting through the state, but we live in Michigan. Here it is mainly the same, most of the children waiting to be adopted are AA. We were also told in our orientation that the chamces of adopting an infant (i.e. under 2 yrs old) is a very long wait and our agency isn't even placing children under 2 because they "never" come up for adoption. Mainly because they are always either adopted by thier foster family or a relative. I would say that if you are adament about having an infant, you would have a better chance with an international or domestic infant adoption. Going through the state is almost a guarentee of older children.

Don't want to discourage you, just letting you know from someone who's been there, doing that.

[loving2foster]

Why dont you only foster newborns. You would have a better chance doing that and then if the parent gives up their rights then from what I understand in the state of Florida is that the foster parent would get the baby. The parent has 12 months here to do something. And they said that 40% of foster kids are adopted by the fostering parents. I would think that would be your best bet. And yes, you can only request to foster newborns. mom of 6

[nanab]

I think maybe you should see if there are private agencies in your state that place waiting children.we are in nc,and we work with one of the several agencies in our state that can do this,they work with the counties.3 couples on our mapps class have gotten babies!so it is possible.one baby was aa,one biracial and one cc.so dont give up.it is possible.
nanab

[MrsD]

I know NOTHING about the state of Florida...or really, all that much outside of my immediate experiences...but my friend adopted through our county here in Orange and she got her son at 8 months old after about 3 weeks and her daughter at 2 weeks after 9 months. She was fairly open to different "issues" but somewhat limited on race. So I know it CAN happen, at least it did for her. Good luck!!

[makarios79]

Depending on where you live..IT IS possible to adopt an infant from Foster Care...the catch is you have to be willing to foster first.. the reason why there are few infants that are available for adoption is because they are usually adopted by their foster parents or are adopted by relatives

I know somebody who recently got a placement of a WHITE infant baby boy (3 weeks old) and she got a call from the GAL that the parents are voluntarily terminating their rights the same week hecame.

This was her VERY first placement and she got the call to take him in 3 hrs after she found out she was licensed. Her licensing took 5 months, but that is ONLY because she moved and had to postpone her homestudy.

AND 2 weeks after her baby boy came...she got a WHITE newborn girl who looks like she is going to be TPR'd as well....so she went from no babies to 2 infants in less than a month



BUT, If you are willing to foster, you also have to be willing to deal with the fact that a lot of these kids will go back home...

But I will say this..EVERY foster parent that I know who wanted to adopt (as in they were not foster only) has adopted a child they were fostering..I know several people who were able to adopt their first placement....

It seems infants are placed in abundance in my county...due to the drug problem we have here. They also told me that for the age range and gender I felt I could parent best (which is female ages 0-6 y/o)
it was next to impossible or I would have a long wait if I just went with "straight adoption" as opposed to "fostering with the hopes of adopting " (There is no official "foster to adopt" program here like in other states) But I was told by many foster parents in my county.... a lot of these kids get tpr's cause bparents never get off drugs....

This is why I switched from "Straight adoption" to "Foster" from foster care (with hopes of adopting a child I foster)

BTW ...I live in Florida..not sure how it is done in Georgia

[loving2foster]

Makarios, why is it taking so long for your home study? We have to have 2 here and I had my first before MAPP was over and then the other the week it was over...mom of 6

[makarios79]

Well when I last spoke to them it was because my backrounds had not come back yet, not sure why it they are taking so long to come back,but they don't like to schedule homestudies here until after they do....

but also, I am moving on Jan 10 and can't have it done until after then anyway,. Also the office was closed the last week of the year.....I am not in a big hurry, but I will be calling them Jan 2.

Also our MAPP class was all done in one week....it wasn't several weeks....

Originally Posted by mom of 6.

Makarios, why is it taking so long for your home study? We have to have 2 here and I had my first before MAPP was over and then the other the week it was over...mom of 6

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

It is very possible...but I agree, you should probably foster/adopt in order to get a better shot. Bug was 2 days old when I picked him up at the hospital. He was a "legal risk" as the parents had already lost one child to the state.

Bear was 8 weeks old and it was reccommended that he be placed with us because we had such a positive rapport with Bug's birth mother (known for being difficult to deal with). Bear's bio-gma was certainly no peach, and since b-mom and Bear were both in foster care (bio-mom wishing to have Bear adopted by a family who already had a boy) she was especially bitter.

Anyway, it all worked out and both were TPR and legally free before they were a year old. They were each adopted within a year of placement. SO, it CAN happen...you just have to play the system games so to speak.

[FosterSurroBirthMom]

Here there is a place called child and family services they deal with most of the already TPR'd kids and stuff from Foster Care (the wya they explained it) you should do a google search and see if there is 1 by you...just a idea! The lady told me that they had trouble finding people who wanted to pick babies up from the hospital after birth...

[loomistunes]

THere is Hope!!!! We have adopted all three of our children as infants.. Our oldest was 4 days old right from the hospital our middle and third child were foster to adopt,, and they were 4 days old and 3 days old respectivley.. and done within 3 years!!! Good Luck.. Jen

[countryparents]

Hi. We were licensed in May of 05. I told my husband we would be waiting a long time. That Aug we were blessed with a three year old little girl. One year later, this past Aug we were blessed with a baby boy. We were even able to be present at the C-section. It is a closed adoption, but the mother wanted us present for the birth. It does happen. Have hope. We also have friends who just adopted two infants from different families. They fostered to adopt and now have two beautiful babies. It seems that in our area, more infants are being placed into foster care due to parents drug problems....these children need loving homes to be their forever families. So, IT CAN HAPPEN! We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers! God does work in amazing ways!

[MamaDiva]

My hubby and I are both AA and we can not find an AA infant here in the state of Texas. We live in San Antonio and are a licensed foster/adopt family. We were told by three fost/adopt agencies that there are no AA infants available in the foster/adopt system. We just do not believe this. No AA infants in the ENTIRE STATE OF TX??? We just found out that some friends of ours just got two AA infants placed in their home.........

We have been told by several private agencies that they have quite a few AA infants available. But we can not afford the $10K + pricetag for their fee's. So we are at a loss right now..no $$$ no AA baby!!