[asweeet1]

This started in December of 2003. My aunt lost her children to the state for the third or fourth time over a 2-3 year span. She has an EXTENSIVE history of neglect and abuse to her children and in fact lost her two others 20 some odd years ago. Anyway, she has since then had 3 more children(boy-13, girl-9, girl-4). They have been in foster care since Dec 2003. I contacted CS and told them that I would be interested in permanent placement of the two girls but not the boy because I have 4 children of my own and did not feel that I could care for him or give him what he needed. Needless to say, they ended up splitting the kids anyway that the boy is in one home and the girls are together in another.

Anyway, the county the kids are in, sent a worker out to do a brief homestudy(this did NOT involve background checks or anything), she just spoke with us for about an hour. That was it. I didn't hear from them in many months. Back in June, they contacted me from Guernsey County asking if I was still interested. I said heck yes. So now 1.5 months later, I received a letter from Stark County(where I live) saying that I need to set up a homestudy. The worker right now is on Vac until August 2nd, but I will set it up with her upon her return to work. In the meantime, I have questions like how long will this take and what exactly is the process?

I do not have contact with that part of my family except my grandmother whom I call every few weeks to check on periodically. My grandmother has told me that they go to court again in September and that she felt that the kids will be lost to the state. Now mind you, my grandmother is totally clueless as to what I am doing and she will remain that way. So any insight would be wonderful :-) You can email me directly at youknow@iname.com if you wish.

[HappyMomAnna]

With children in state care the first choice is always to try and find relatives who are 'suitable' placements. The homestudy for family members is less strict then for non-family members. but will include the background checks.

The state also try to do their best to keep sbilings together....but if you as a relative can only take two then they may split them more easliy.... It can be difficult to find room in Foster Homes and usually if siblings are split they maintian contact with visits.

You as a relative can also ask the state to ask his new family if they would be open to continued contact so the girls do not lose thier brother....This can be horrible for the children that you do have placed with you and there will most likely be issues over it...so if you take the girls you will want to get counseling to help address this issue--they will likely blame you for not taking the brother and you would want to be ready for that.

If the Termination of rights hearing is in September then the homestudy should go rather fast for you as a relative placement...Actually if you get started I would imagine that as soon as possible the state will move the children with you...

They will likely press you to take the brother too....because of the sibling bond.... The state may also decide that another family interested in taking all three would be better....But, relatives do have great power and as long as everything looks good then it should go your way....

Please keep involved on this site you will find great support here.

[asweeet1]

Thank you soooo much for the insight :-) I appreciate it very much! I realize they will try to press about the brother too, as I have noticed they continue to put him on letters with the sisters, although I had said I can only take the two. I told them that if they couldn't give me just the girls, and they found a good home for all 3 that that would even be better than me trying to handle the boy. The worker who was here, took notes during our one hour meeting, so I know she wrote it down and reviewed that with whomever she reports to. So, hopefully, they do realize this even if they do pressure, hopefully they realize I openly admit I could not handle it and do not feel it would be fair to him. The boy lives with a pastor and his wife right now and is in a wonderful environment. I am crossing my *fingers* that perhaps they wish to adopt him. I was thinking along the lines you had mentioned, about maintaining the contact so that the siblings could have some sort of relationship growing up :-) . I know the boy is a handful and he is 13. He has already had juvenile delinquency problems and has alot of rage built up. I feel really bad, but I have to remain realistic too! So at any rate, I can stand up the pressure I believe and I do believe the girls are better with me than with any other person! But like I said, if they MUST keep them together, I feel they should find a home where the boy can be given "equal" attention and his needs can be more adequately attended to. I have four boys of my own and then with 2 girls, I think I will have my plate full LOL.