[mischief28ky]

I have a big question for everyone . How does it work to abopt a waiting child from another state. Since things dont seem to be going anywhere in good ol ky I thought that I would look at other states and found some children that I would be intrested in. Has anyone had any experience with this process? If so how does it work? Is it frowned apon? WIll I be digging my own grave so to speak (with the fc system in ky). Iam afraid that If I do this then I really wont get any calls. any info will be greatly appricated thank you all for reading my post and for your replies. thank you

[J.Ro]

We are in NC and have been matched with children in TX. There were not kids that matched with us in our own state at this time, so we started looking away. We actually saw them on an Internet photolisting and e-mailed an inquiry four days prior to their staffing meeting.

I will say that it's all somewhat frustrating, nothing goes as quickly as you would like it to. We found out 2 1/2 weeks ago that we'd been matched, but are still waiting on the case files.

As far as your local DSS frowning upon you, I don't think that would be an issue. If they don't have a match for you, then they don't have a match.

[mischief28ky]

hello congradulations on your match. Thank you for answering my post. how does this all work I know that we need to inquire about a child but I know that in ky I thank that you actually have to foster a child for six months before you can adopt is this so for other states. I suppose that you would just follow thier laws right lol. What about visits how does that work any info that anyone has will be greatly appricated. I hope that I dont get on your all nerves to much with all of my questions. Thank you all so much
'

[shawgirl]

how long to adopt from tx

[J.Ro]

The way our out of state thing is going to work is like this:

-we get matched

-we get sent the entire case history so that we can make an informed decision about the children. We can also talk to therapists, teachers, foster mom at this point.

-once we say yes, then the children are prepared, shown our photo album, and asked if they would like to proceed (with them being older, they will each have to sign their adoption papers)
-
all during this time (hopefully) the Interstate Compact (the agreement between TX and NC) is making its way through beaurocratic channels. This paperwork can take at a minimum one month and I've heard horror stories of 4-6 months.

-once the ICPC is complete, then, and only then, we can go to Texas to visit the kids. CPS in TX will put us up in an extended stay hotel room for a week and the kids will come and join us. They will have no contact with their foster mom that week. We get to hang out, have fun, get to know each other, ask each other lots of questions, etc.

-then we have to leave the kids in Texas. We come back here for some mysteriously unspecified amount of time before we can call back and say "Yes, yes, yes!".

-Once that has happened, then two CPS workers from TX will escort the kids to our home, the workers will then spend the night in a local hotel, and come back in the morning to check on us. If all is well, they leave.

-Once they leave our 90 days to finalization begins. This 90 days can be stretched to 180 days if there are any hesitations at all on anyone's part.

So that's what I know. My dream would be to have them here by mid-July because our schools start back so early. But that may be pretty unlikely.

Although I'm super excited about a match, I will say this process has been an emotional roller coaster. You really need to want this to stick with it.

[HappyMomAnna]

Each state has a request for waiting adoptive parents to keep their search inside their state...Some states ask that you look in state for 6 mos to a year before you look at the children in other states....This is usually related to how many children are waiting in your own state.

Each state also has a process for allowing children to be adopted in other states. For example in my state, Oregon this is the way the waiting children are handeled....

1) a Child is placed into Foster Care.
2) The Caseplan is changed to adoption.
3) The Foster Family decides not to (or never planned) Adopt.
4) The waiting Families in our state are sent the profile.
5) The childs worker tries to get 50 homestudies for the child of which 3-families are selected.
6) The childs case continues to move forward and the TPR (Temination of Parental rights happens.)
7) Children are advertised more vigeriously in state.
8) Child is Legally Free for some period of time and there is not enough interest in state--Child is posted on larger waiting lists.
9) Homestudies are accepted from families in other states.

The caseowrker attempts to find 3-interested families in Any state.

When three families are found the state holds a committee (some states call this a staffing) and the adoptive placement is decided.

If the children are leaving state the Interstate Compact Paperwork must be completed and all details worked out before the child may leave the state.

Generally any children who will be placed with parents in a different state have been waiting for some time to be adopted. These children are nearly all Legally Free. Most of these children will be a little older or have significant special needs.

As long as a waiting family has searched their own state and as long as the family has waited ther required time there should be no issues made of looking outside your own state.

While looking at children in other states make note or ask about the "purchase of Service" agreements the child's state have. This indicates that the childs state WILL repay your state for all the costs of your homestudy, and the adoption as well as any special needs subsidy you may recieve.

Typically you will need to ask your caseowrker to send your homestudy to the childs caseworker as some states do not allow adoptive parents to communicate with the childrens caseworker in advance of a placement determination.

[mischief28ky]

Thank you all for your replies. Does anyone know if this rule of waiting and looking for children in your state applies in ky? Because I have been looking at the snap wesite for almost three years and in the age group that dh and I want to adopt the same children have been on there all three of those years. Also the children that are on the site in the age group that we want to adopt are reserved or placement pending. And we are not getting any calls so what are we supposed to do? we are not getting any calls and the same people that told us before that we would be sooo busy now dont seem to hopeful that we will be getting a call to soon. Maybe Iam just having a bad day today. Some days it is easy to go on and not think about how bad dh and I want a child and some days are just unbearable. Thank you all for listening to my crazy ranting Thank you for taking the time to read my post and thank you for any replies.

[HappyMomAnna]

Talk with your caseworker and express your feelings...

Then ask if you can have your profile sent to other states....Oregon is well know for being a GREAT state to adopt from and this link will take you to the Northwest Adoption Exchange.... Have YOUR worker send you Homestudy to the caseworker of any children you are interested in.... If you state is not able to place a child then it is time to look outside your state....We need good families to adopt our children....We have so many children and not enough families...

http://www.nwae.org/index.html


Good luck,
Anna

[carolinaj]

Someone needs to kick KY's @$$. I, too, had inquired about children on KY's website an have not received one phone call or email in spite of my attempts to contact them. I finally gave up and have a homestudy and plan on adopting from Ukraine. If you ever go get a live voice or someone from KY please let me know.

Thanks,
Carolyn

[J.Ro]

I had many wonderful conversations with one of the SNAP recruiters, Jim Wilson, think he's in the Louisville office. He was great to work with. I didn't end up being matched with a KY kid, but he seemed pretty pro active.

[mischief28ky]

Thank you all for your replies. I was having a really bad day that day. Here is a small portion of our story: Dh and I were married seven years ago wanted to start a family soon after to make a very long and boring story short it didnt happen (pcod and hbp) So we decided to try the adoption route. We first checked into private adoption for some reason we decided aganist that (the long wait I think). Then we looked into international and had our hearts set on Korea Then we started trying to come up with the money ( without borrowing) and soon found out that was not possiable now dont get me wrong we do alright but I just didnt see the point in going into debit (at the time like thirty thousand) and then you have a child to raise and send to college. It just didnt make sense. Anyway to make and even longer story short it took us awhile to make up our minds to foster\adopt. we were afraied that we would have a hard time letting the children go (because we have such a strong desire to have children) after going through our mapp classes we decided that we would do both but we very strongly want to adopt. The workers which by the way so far have been wonderful said that we would probaly be so busy because there is only one other set of fp in our county. Now here we are a month later with no call no children and the desire (to have childern) as you all know dosent get any eaiser to deal with. So a few days ago we found a little boy on another state site that we are very intrested in inquiring about now we dont know what to do. I will probaly call worker tomorrow and see what her take on the whole thing is and I guess that we will make our decision after we see what she says. Thank you all so much I really appricate your advise and if you have anymore please feel free to give it lol.

[apatterson79]

I completely understand where you are coming from on all confusion of what to do. Your story reads almost exactly like mine. We have been married about 4 years, been together for 5. At first we started trying to have a baby of our own, he had a vasectomy, so that was a lot of Dr. visits and $ to try. After I exhausted all our funds, and all my energy I decided to take a break. We looked at private adoption, but was completely devastated by not only the $ but the length of time. I could not imagine waiting years on a "LIST". So we went on to international adoption. I quickly discovered it was not as easy as it seemed and a lot more expensive than I ever imagined. After chatting with several agencies I put that idea to rest. I decided that we had this great home with a ton of extra space and so much love, the obvious choice for us to become foster/adoptive parents for our county. We both agreed it was a wonderful idea and were both very involved in the classes. We actually have our last class tonight. Throughout the classes and before starting the classes it was to my understanding that we would be one of the only families in our county and we are needed badly. We were ready. We bought beds after the 3rd class and I have been collecting toys,books, and other items ever since then. We were told we would complete the homestudy in July and probably have kids by August....only 1 small problem. At the last class it was the panel night. These parents basically told us all good luck to find kids in your age range and that their homes sit empty...as much as 1yr and a half at a time. We are going for ages 0-5, with up to age 10 as a case by case. I was completely confused, heartbroken, and devastated. I had been looking at our SNAP site since we first started trying to get pregnant 2 years ago...every child I think we would match with ends up being on hold or placement pending. So, I am looking at other states. Matter of fact that is what I have been doing all morning. There have been so many kids that I think would be a great match for us...but I don't know how our Social Worker will feel about me searching out of state before my homestudy is even complete. I still want to foster in my county, and adopt if it ever becomes possible, but I have found all of these children everywhere else that needs homes too. I am so unsure what to do. I know I haven't been any help to you. I just wanted you to know I am in the same boat you are in.

[mischief28ky]

apatterson79 I feel your pain. I know how you feel we are so upset right now that we just dont know what to do. We were also lead to believe that we would be busy because there is only one other couple in our county. The other couple gets calls but not us we have been approved one month as of sunday. I wake up every morning almost in tears because I know that this will be another day that we wont get a call. I know that sounds pathatic (not spelled right) when dh is home about five on those days we look at each other and say "another day come and gone with no children" We are also taking 0-5 I have two bedrooms fixed up baby beds toddler beds, clothes, toys , books, bottles you name it we have it (we have spent a small fourtune) . I took a leap of faith the other day and sent in inquires on two children that i saw on another state site as dh said we never know If we dont try. di du see the front page of the Courier-Journal this past sunday??????? They were begging for foster and adoptive parents.
It made me and Dh so mad that we could Hardly stand to read it. So anyway good luck keep me posted. As i said I sent in the inquire about those children what will happen I dont know I really dont look for it to work in our favior nothing else has. I hope to hear some good news from you soon I really enjoy reading your posts, thanks

[apatterson79]

mischief28ky,
My last meeting went really great. We filled out our mentor forms and will be assigned to a mentor the day we get officially approved. We signed up for our free membership to the Foster/Adopt Care Organization of KY. We have scheduled Concurrent Placement Adoption Training for July 8th. We took pictures for our foster IDs and got our final paperwork turned in before our homestudy on Friday. I really felt like I was finally seeing progress. So I decided to brave the question that I had been holding to myself about state to state adoption. My social worker had no experience with it and referred me to another social worker attending the meeting. She informed me that if I wanted to I would be able to do this with the interstate contract. She advised me that after my homestudy I can give them my social workers info and if they agree we would be a candidate then they will let our social worker share with us the full information available about the child. Then with the next breathe she let me know that a lot of times other states will play down the disabilities to get a child adopted. She said the profile online may read great and then upon reading the medical file when matched you may find that this disability is life threatening or long term care will be needed for the rest of the child's life. She said 80% of the adoptions from the KY system are from concurrent planning adoptions. That is why I signed up for the last training session that will be offered in my region on this subject. I also signed up for classes in my region from the Adoption Support For Kentucky Organization. All of these will serve as additional training hours for us and we are very interested in adopting. We were pretty much advised to wait and there will be kids right here that I can adopt. So...I guess only time will tell. I have a nursery and a children's room completely ready. I go into both of them daily and spend time just imagining what it will be like to have children in them. I have found several children in a variety of states that I think would be a great match for my family. But...I am not sure now whether or not to believe the website or the social worker's experience. I just don't know. I would love to chat with you more...but I have work to do right now. Feel free to email me anytime: amyrpatterson@hotmail.com Have a great day!!!! --Amy--

[mischief28ky]

Well I talked to our worker yesterday. She was very encouraging she told me that yes it was ok to look in other states. She said mosty certainly put your self out there. She made me feel SOoooo much better. I think that I understand now why we havent gotten called (besides that they havent placed lately) I think that they are being careful I dont think that they want to scare us off So I feel better now and I will keep looking and waiting around lol.