[AlexasMom]

Hi. My husband and I are considering toddler adoption from the U.S. We are just starting the process, and would like to find out what others experiences have been. We would like to adopt a toddler or sibling toddlers if possible. We would also prefer caucasian, if possible - but not a must. Is it true that we would have the best luck going through DHS in our county for this type of adoption? WE are willing to travel anywhere in the U.S. We are willing to do foster-to-adopt - but would rather it be a pretty "secure" thing before a child enters out home. So.....can anyone tell me what their experience has been, and how long your wait was, etc. Thanks....sorry for the broad questions....but, as I said, we are just starting.

Thanks again.

[HappyMomAnna]

The best and most simple way is to get going with your local DHS office. There are two different programs to achieve adoption usually. Foster-to-Adopt and Straight adoptin. With straight adoption you as the family make the committment to the child/children before you meet them....With Foster-to-adopt you risk loving them and movining them on. 57% of the children placed into foster care are reunited with their birthfamilies....and another large percentage are placed with biological family members so....the odds are pretty high that you will move several children on before one is ava for adoption.

Once you have gone through the steps to have your homestudy and all the training and other 'stuff' done with your local socail services--then you will be able to look at waiting children in your state. Some states ask that you keep looking in your state for a period of time before looking at the waiting children in other states.... but, you may adopt a child from another state. The paperwork can get tricky but regardless of who your homestudy was done with the paper work would have to be done anyway for a placement of a child from a state you don't live in....

Adopting a sibling group is usually quicker then any other adoption with the state. There are MANY sibling groups of children in the toddler age ranges. Our siblings were perfect for us and we were placed with exactly the group we had said we wanted when we started... a little girl 4-5 and a baby brother.

Our entire process from the day we STARTED our homestudy was less then one year before the children were placed and less then another year before the adoption was final.

Good luck and keep asking questions!

[AlexasMom]

HappyMomAnna - Thank you for your quick and encouraging reply. We will be attending an information meeting with our DHS next month. I appreciate your knowledge! Are you in Minnesota, too? Thanks again.

[HappyMomAnna]

Actually I am in Oregon--however due to the new laws passed under the AFSA (Adoption and Safe Families Act) of 1997 all states have been required to conform to some basic guidlines which include the Interstate Compact and streamlined paperwork for children being adopted by families who live in another state. So much of these issues are now under a Federal mandate and all states still maintain some controls as to how they meet the mandate--but, the questions you have asked here are ones I can answer based on these laws.....

Good luck with your journey and remember that one goal in the training is to scare away those who will not be able to deal with everything that MIGHT come with the adotion of children who have expereinced a lot of abuse, neglect and trauma on the way--don't let what you hear scare you away--But listen carefully and take notes so that you can have a sucessful match with children you can have success parenting!

Good luck!

[debfjeld]

Are you in the Twin Cities? Which county? There is still a strong need for concurrent placement families. (This is when you foster a child with the hope that you will be able to adopt. You must also work with the birthparents toward reunification-not an easy task when you bond to the little ones.) I have adopted 4 through foster care. Some were easier to adopt than others. If you have a good social worker, he or she can help guide you to a good placement. For instance, I have one child who was the 7th baby of a woman. She had 6 prior terminations, so it was a good bet that #7 would be terminated on also. The worker can do a risk assessment for you (sort of a worksheet that can assess what the probability will be that you could adopt the child). Thankfully, foster parents can now say they are interested in adopting-a few years ago a foster parent wasn't allowed to say anything and it often backfired if they did. I had one child that went back and forth between bmom and me and it was the hardest job I ever had. It broke my heart frequently. It ended well for us, as we got to adopt her, but I don't want to go through the stress again.

[HappyMomAnna]

There is always a need for Foster to adopt families or conncurrent placements but--not all families are able or interested in doing this work.

Some adoptive families do no want to work on reunification or are willing to experienc the moving on of a child...and being a Straight Adoption family is also VERY important with the system. There are THOUSANDS of children WAITING in Foster Homes who DO NOT WANT TO ADOPT THEM....

This is a matter of different people with different focus....some of us can Foster and do very well Some of us can Love a child before we even meet the child and every family can choose the path that works best for themselves.....

[mckenna]

i got into foster parenting without the intention of adopting. i had 2 infants placed with me, one for a couple weeks, the other for 10 months before reunification. 3 weeks after she left, i got a 3 1/2 month old baby. he had been bounced around for awhile in his short 3 .5 months. when he was 1 1/2 yrs old his bmom terminated her own rights and then it took another year to get his bdad's rights terminated and when he was 2 1/2 and 2 + years after he was placed with me, i officially adopted him. it was a long road and in the middle his sister was also placed with us (for 11months from the time she was 9months to 20 months). there are still attachment issues he and i are working on, but we are just in love and i love being his mom! good luck to you in your adoption journey.