[aspenhall]

I think a lot of you probably know me from earlier posts...although I haven't been on much lately. Here's the "problem"....we have been pursuing a domestic infant adoption and are waiting for a bmom to choose us. THEN about a week ago, my husband got on the internet to look at the photolistings of waiting kids in our state, there weren't very many, so he kept clicking on nearby states (for an hour or more)....It is very UNCHARACTERISTIC of him to show such a prolonged interest in the different aspects of adoption. He is a "cross that bridge when we get there" kinda guy......Anyway he finds this sibling group of 4 and calls me to come see them...probably the 6th time in an hour to look at some one he found interesting, but this time he was REALLY excited, so I looked and WOW if there was ANY child on the planet that could look identical to us that wasn't biologically related THIS WAS THEM and there are 4 of them!!! I'm not exagerating at ALL either! THIS GOES AGAINST ALL THE BOUNDARIES WE HAD ESTABLISHED. The oldest is 12!!!! The oldest is a GIRL!!! there are FOUR OF THEM!!! It's totally crazy. The reason I am posting this here is because the kids are in Oregon, and I am supposing that the adoption will be handled thru the state of Oregon. I need to know what it will cost me and advice on adopting a large sibling group out of foster care. I have some idea of what I will be getting into, but A WHOLE FAMILY AT ONCE is a little daunting to first time parents... even if we are the oldest in our families and have experience with kids this age....ya know!?? Any advice would be highly appreciated! Maybe I'll dig out some younger pix of me and my dh and my MIL (whose family has the dominant resemblance) and post them here with a link to the kids and see what ya'll think? Even my CW was a little freaked out by the EXACT resemblance to us. And my bestfriend started to tear up when I showed her the pix. AND my MIL saw my husband looking at their pix over xmas (they don't know we are adopting yet) and thought they were some relatives of mine HA HA HA....HELP!

[Sharon]

Wow, this is a new direction! How exciting!
I don't have any real advice, but I wish you the best of luck. Follow your instincts, and you can't go wrong.
Best wishes, ~ Sharon

[lovestory]

I don't live in Oregon. Yet know you from earlier posts, and also the LDS Forum.

What an interesting twist, and potentially a wonderful opportunity this could turn out to be! Please keep us updated and informed. (And beings that I don't check the boards every day~you may have to cross post to the LDS Forum. )

I once submitted an enquiry on a child that was on the Oregon photo listing. I think that is where you would start~which you may have done already. Is send an enquiry to their Case Worker. Find out more information about their circumstances....if they are all free to adopt, etc.

I hope that there are other's that will soon post, who would easily know more then I.

An excellent thing to do in the meantime~research, and more research. On older child/sibling adoptions.

Best of luck to you and your hubby!

Grins,
Stephanie

[HappyMomAnna]

OK--I am in Oregon. And can help you to a point. First of all you can adopt Oregon Children if you are in another state. You need to go to your stateschild services--DHS--CPS or whatever it is called there and get your STATE Homestudy finished. They may be able to use the current homestudy to speed things up.

Once you have your STATE Homestudy you can ask to have it submitted to the case worker in charge of the child/children's case number. In Oregon you personally should not directly contact the childs caseworker.

The goal for an Oregon casewrker is to accept as many homestudies as they possiblly can the goal is actually to take 50. However, some very difficult children to place may take fewer, but will attempt to get as many as possible. These children are the ones who do end up on the internet lisings. The goal is to get as much interest as possible so the caseworker is not just jumping into a placement.....

The child/children's worker will look at all the homestudies with the goal of selecting 3-families to go to committee. The committee consists of uninvolved casworkers, your caseworker, the other families caseworkers, the CASA's, child/children's caseworker and any other parties involved. There is a meeting and the committee selects the family for placement. As well as a back-up family in case something has changed.

There is an appeal process however it is not likely to result in a change of the decission.

As for the costs, in most cases states offer something called "Services Paid" agreements. This makes it possible for your local child services to do your homestudy and have children placed with your because the other state is willing to pay your state for the costs. Typically an adoption through the state will cost you NOTHING. Or if there are any costs they are very low.

Within certain limits Oregon does offer adoptive families great, placement, pre and post adoption support. Oregon children adopted from Foster Care recieve medical/dental and mental health benefits until the age of 18. As well as a subsidy for any special needs a child placed might have. I am not sure of how the transfer of these things work accross line of states but, your state will also have certain incentives to help support you if you are willing to call this sibling group you own......

Good luck and before you go to far......check into the local classes about special needs adoption. Start gathering info. There are skills in reading the childs profiles that you can only understand after learing a lot about the issues of adopting older children.

If you don't mind me asking Which internet lising site were the Oregon Children found on.....and if you would like me to look and read between the lines let me know......

[Barksum]

Happy Mom gave you tons of info. She covered all the basics.

I've met some people who lived in other states and adopted from Oregon. I've heard only good things about adopting from Oregon while living in another state. I live in Oregon and have adopted twice thru Oregon DHS. Oregon does have a good system to work with because there are steps that are followed, and you know where you are in the process.


Having corresponded with people who live out of state and want to adopt from Oregon I would suggest that you find out up front if you need a foster license. Some states have regulations concerning the definition of "foster" that differ from Oregon's, and cases are different with different children depending on legal status, etc., so you need to check that aspect out. This can play a part in any payments you could receive prior to finalization, and all that kind of thing. If you need to be certified foster parents, you'd need to get that rolling as it can take time.

If you found these kids on the http://www.nwae.org site they are good about following up on inquiries. Oregon is one of the states that doesn't like you to directly contact the child's cw, and they do let you know that when they respond to inquiries. They will give you the info to pass on to your caseworker so that your caseworker can forward your homestudy.

The other thing about children on photolistings is that often the photo listings are a tad (to put it mildly!! LOL) behind on the info regarding the kids. Don't be surprised if they are no longer waiting, if the status has changed regarding diagnoses has changed, if the sibs have been split, etc. etc. etc. Also I've noticed that the bios listed on the internet are usually optomistic and upbeat, but they sometimes don't list info that would be pertinent to making a decision. Of course this has to do with privacy and I understand, but just don't be surprised at what you may find out upon further inquiry.

Older child adoption is very different than infant adoption, as I'm sure you are aware. The issues that older children have are vastly different than those encountered in infant adoption. You will have to look at new and creative ways to parent. There are just too many issues to list, or go into, and I'm not trying to be a downer, BUT...it is a different kettle of fish altogether from infant adoption. I'd recommend that you check out the special needs adoption forum on this web site.

Keep posting about how your adoption journey progresses. I enjoy having others share how things are going for them. (We are waiting to hear back about some inquiries ourselves. Yes, this would be our 3rd adoption...and we are foster parents, too. LOL)

[AlbanyKaren]

So far you have gotten good info regarding adoption in Oregon. Sadly, these days most of the potential adoptive homes are out of state, so we have this system down to a tee!

For clarification, true Oregon doesn't like you to contact caseworkers specifically. This is because most branches (service district areas) have an adoption resource worker who takes calls and responds to inquiries. In fact, it is more likely that you will be connected to the foster parents than the caseworkers, which will provide much better information anyway. Once the three "best" families have been identified, all go to adoption committee, as Anna explained very well.

One thing not previously explained, out of state adoptive homes have to go through the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children system (ICPC), which is a federal program that enables folks to work with different states' child welfare systems. What happens with this is: once the "best" home has been identified, the caseworker will complete a request for information from our central office, which goes to your state's central office, and then gets assigned to one of your local caseworkers. At this point, all depends on the policies/procedures of your state. For example, Oregon can go directly to an adoptive home study, whereas the state of Washington requires you first to be certified as a foster parent before moving toward adoption. Once your state clears you (usually this is a technicality with adoption anyway, since our adoption resource workers will require that you have completed a state approved adoptive home study before you are considered for any family) this will go back through the central offices and back to the Oregon caseworker. At this point, transition efforts are made and placement can occur. Be patient because we don't have many adoption workers who finalize adoptions and this means there is a waiting list to finalize the adoption.

Whew! what a mouthful! Anyway, definitely go ahead and let someone know you're interested in those kids and get the ball rolling!. Good luck.

[pedpets]

WOW!
You sound so excited. I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck! I hope it all works out for you!

[aspenhall]

I appreciate everybody's responses. This forum is my favorite resource.

I have had my cw contact the children's cw and I am frantically trying to get signed up for training classes (for special needs). I am enjoying everyones comments and even if you think you haven't helped....YOU HAVE....even if it is just to agree with prior posts, at least I can see the popular opinion!!!

I have been on the special needs boards lurking for months....because they have some really cool stories!!! and now I am grateful that I picked up some really cool pointers along the way.

Any help from anybody regarding older child adoptions would especially be helpful. It's early but I totally see these kids as ours....If we aren't picked...then OH WELL....but if we are then....OH MAN!!!!!!!!

[MamaJem]

One of the things I have learned (having just transitioned our foster children to another state) is that you have to be patient. Some of the paperwork takes longer and getting a representative for your committee takes a bit more time. The selection process for our girls went from closing in August to committee in November and transistion in December.

It would be good to look through the family matters and actually read them. Here is an example. You can get on their mailing list.Family Matters

We too are looking at a sibling group of four (not yet on the website) and we already have two! Guess we will have our Suburban filled up! A friend of ours said "Its a good thing you didn't buy a bus!" (Of course a 15 passenger van sounds nice!)

Best Wishes!

[BabsCanada]

OK, aspenhall, I had to post a reply so I'd be sure to be notified once you return to the forum -
What's happening? I have my fingers crossed for you that everything goes smoothly - any updates?
Babs

[aspenhall]

ok, no real big news yet...I recieved a hope filled msg on my cell phone last week. My CW contacted their CW to check on how things were progressing. She said that she had been really busy with another case that had already had several failed placements and that she really hadn't done much with these 4. My CW said that they had chosen one family and that we were still being considered. EEEEEeeeeee!!!! I have been completely distracted and going out of my mind since that message.....but, I promised myself that I wouldn't bug her too much, so yesterday I decided it had been a little over a week and it was ok to call and see if she could find out how much longer we could expect to be waiting to hear anything. She was on another line or in a meeting each time I called, so then I had a flash of inspiration and decided to play dumb and call the oregon office as if I knew nothing. I asked if the kids were still available and he said .....NO.....!!!!!! I reminded myself to BREATHE and then said, oh, so they've been adopted? and he said...uh, no...but they have picked the 3 families that will go to committee..... AAAHAAHAHAHAHAHHKAKAKKKCKCK!!!!!!
My brain completely exploded and I thanked him while swallowing my heart back down out of my throat. So I then called my cw again (and played dumb again) and left a message asking her to find out a time frame. I swear this is so exciting and so frustrating all at once. I tried all day to get a hold of my CW today to no avail!! I guess I will try again tomorrow. Hubby called Oregon today to see if they knew how often committe meets and they said they didn't know and to just call the CW tomorrow.

I feel like I'm on the first downhill freefall of a roller coaster. I find myself just pacing through my house completely scatterbrained and I can't hold a thought in my head for more than 2 seconds.
It's all or nothing now! If (--when--) we are picked, I anticipate the kids will finish out this school year in Oregon while we visit back and forth through the transition. I shake uncontrollably all day and this morning I woke up with chest pains. THIS IS SO UNLIKE ME. I can be dramatic, but in the heat of the moment I am always calm cool and collected......and right now I am ANYTHING BUT!!!

[bumpkin]

Wow..... I have been following your thread, as my husband and I are in the same situation. We are waiting on domestic newborn adoption and just started getting intrigued by adoption through the state social system. I've filled ou forms and registred for MAPP classes, but looks like it will take 5 or 6 months to get through the sytem. In the meantime I've been reading all the books that have been recommended by others. IT's scary, daunting, interesting and compelling all at once. I'm not sure where this is going to end, but I know that now that I have more knowledge of these kids, what they go through etc... it has changed me. Even if we get a call tomorrow about a domestic newborn I don't know if we could turn him/her away, but I'm going to use the information that I have now to do good, whether it be volunteering, or something else. It's touched me in a way that I have yet to fully understand. In a weird way I'm afraid we will now get the call and it will stop this journey???? what's up with that.

In the meantime, please keep us posted on your situation. I think it gives home to many who are waiting for placements of this kind.

Best to you

Bumpkin

[BabsCanada]

A, S, C & A?
Did I guess right?
The internet is a wonderful thing.
I so look forward to seeing your posts; be sure to visit here lots and keep us updated

Babs

[MkMw]

There is an adoption attorney who posts here as well (from Oregon) he might be able to help...I think his SN starts with Searching his name is Scott - maybe try posting in the Oregon adoption section??

[pedpets]

I've worked with DHS starting on my 7th year. I can say I pretty much know how it works (at least in Oregon). I also know many sw from all over the state.

Having three committee failures before we received our son on the fourth committee. It took 2 yrs and 10 months before we went to committee on our son. Also our son was put on a bulletin but it was never circulated (because he was 3 months old). His sw contacted our sw because she received our homestudy on another one of her cases. She thought that we would be a perfect match for our son (go figure). But even in committee it came down to us and another couple. Which took them 20 min. to decide after they ruled out the 3rd perspective family.

Over my past experiences I've learned not to get excited over bulletins until your selected to go to committee. All your doing is setting your heart up for a fall. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is keep searching and looking at other children. Get your name out there with as many sw as you can. Most of these sw's have 25-30 other cases on their desks. Focusing on this one set of kids only your loosing time spent on your search. Plus you're not getting attached until your committee date is set. Less heartache!

Oregon committee's meet once a month. Pending on the county, they might meet twice a month. But it's usually once a month.

I don't want to pop your bubble on these kids. I just want to save you from the heartache! I'm very excited for you and hope that it all works out for you. I will keep my fingers crossed that your selected to go to committee.