[Sabra]

Hello Everyone:

This is a new forum for all parents that are fostering a child in the state of Maryland or would like to. If you have fostered a child in the past in the state of Maryland and would like to encourage foster parents for this state you are welcome to post on this forum as well.

Please feel free to network about various aspects of foster parenting.

You may wish to share with one another about services available in your state. Helpful tips on transitioning a child into your home. Problems or concerns in which you would like to have perspectives from other foster parents. Activities that foster families enjoy. Vacation ideas. And any other topics that foster families may have in common.

Post and make new friends in your own home state!

[Lorraine123]

I would love to get to know others in my area who are in the same situation as myself. My daughter is placed with me for adoption, but I am currently her foster mother until finalization. She has RAD and I would love to be part of a RAD support group. This is a diagnosis that no one understands without living it. I am in Frederick County.

[Sabra]

Hi Lorraine:

Welcome to the Maryland Foster Parenting Support Forum.

Support from other parents who are going through something similar to what we are going through can really be of help.

I am hoping that other parents come on and post that are from your state. I have asked Dr. Art and Nancy G our attachment experts regarding your question. Are you currently working with a professional experienced in RAD?

My heart goes out to as you therapeutically parent your dear daughter. Here are some forums to read through here on AdoptionForums regarding attachment. You will find helpful articles and information on RAD
http://forums.adoption.com/f812.html

I hope you will find support here and feel free to ask questions of our experts.

Warm regards,

[Lorraine123]

Sabra,

Thanks for your reply. We have a great therapist who specializes in older adopted kids with RAD. I really feel that she is helping us make progress (although not at the speed I would like - but that would be impossible). My daughter has been with us for only 4 months now and I guess the reality of RAD is really setting in. At first I think a part of me thought that with the right therapy and therapeutic parenting, she could be almost "normal". I've come to the realization that it will never be. We can only help her heal to a point. That realization was quite difficult for me.

I've posted quite a few questions regarding attachment and I've gotten replies from both Dr. Art and Nancy. They have been very helpful. Reading posts from other parents has also been helpful. I think I often feel isolated because others don't truly understand unless they have been there.

Hopefully others from Maryland will reply with interest in supporting one another.

[ChristyES]

Hi There

I am also a foster/soon to be adoptive parent from Frederick MD. Since becoming foster parents in July 2002 we have had fostered one son age 5 who we will be adopting and two sets of sibling girls one set stayed 6 months and one set stayed 3 months. It has been quite an experience so far! Our son is can is as sweet as can be (at times) and we love him but he's ADHD, ODD and RAD so it's been tough. We go to counseling and are working on the RAD issues, we have had some success with meds for controlling temper tantrums but it's still a roller coaster ride.

Anyway , I'd love to hear form anyone who is with similar experiences.
Christy

[SmileMonkey]

I'm in Baltimore County. We have been approved as foster/adoptive parents since 10/02 but only had 2 real placements. We had one child stay for only 6 days and two boys stay overnight. We, also, had a million "false starts."

We now have one boy aged 12 whose plan is to return home. He has been with us for about 13 mos. We, also, have a sibling group of a girl age 11 and boy age 8 who's plan will eventually be adoption but it's too soon to tell if we will be the family for them because they've only been in care for about 3 mos. We are keeping our fingers crossed.

[whizzylong]

I live in baltimore county , and i am trying to have my step brothers baby placed in my care . I was told i have to become a foster parent in order to do that. I was just trying to find out how hard is it to get approved to be a foster parent and how long does it take ? please if anyone can give me information that would be greatly appreciated.

[babies4me5]

Sabra and Christy,
I am also fostering to adopt in MD. I am in Montgomery County. We have a 22 month old and a 5 1/2 yo. The 5 1/2 yo has RAD and PTSD. I would love to talk to others who are dealing with RAD. We are waiting for the official TPR word. We testified 11/15, but still have not heard. We are hoping to get our Christmas wish next week!

Our girls have a 10 month old sister who we fully intended to adopt when she became available, but we are now realizing what the psychologist has said all along-we have our hands full with what we have. I feel a tiny bit guilty, but I am praying a good family gets to adopt a lovely little girl and maybe we can even remain in touch and have visits for the girls. We've had our 2 since 3/4 and it seems like a lifetime (in a good way, of course!) How are you handling the holidays? They seem to have so many bad memories for our oldest.

Shannon

[mlbsands]

Hello.. we are also foster parents and we live in Anne Arundel county - we do treatment fostercare and have had only 2 placements (one was with us for 4 months the other for 16 months).. We were going to adopt the one that was with us for 16 months and then she left due to some jealousy of the new baby we just adopted.. We have continued to be a part of her life and they are now asking us if we would again be a resource for her. We have also been asked to condier taking in a 12 y/o boy who really needs a dad in his life and they are having a hard time finding a fosterhome with a a 2 parent set up.

We are so torn and very confused.. we want to help him.. but also don;t feel like we are able to give him 100% since we still need to see what we can do for "B".. we would love to have her back.. but also are not sure she can get over her jealousy issues..

UUGGHH any thoughts?

Mandy

[Learning2wait]

Hi, I'm Sandee, my husband and I are licensed foster/adopt in Prince George's County, MD. We became licensed last February and we have had one placement, our son, who's permanency plan switched to adoption in September and we hope to adopt. It's a transracial placement but we're hoping that won't cause any difficulty.
We want to adopt more, but we only have 2 bedrooms upstairs so we're limited in what we can do so we're also looking to move within the county to a house with more bedrooms upstairs.

[mlbsands]

Welcome Sandee...

We decided to take the placement of the 12y/o boy and he moved in a few weeks ago.. he is so sweet and hopefully he will enjoy being here..

Sandee.. what age kids do you take?

Mandy

[Learning2wait]

Mandy,
I'm glad that you are having a good experience with your fs after the hard decision of taking him.
We are licensed 0-5 years because we are young (married Dec 98, graduated college May 99). If God keeps us fostering we plan to increase the age as our age increases. It just doesn't seem that a 26 year old would be the best choice to parent a 15 year old since the age makes them more of an older sister.....I've heard of times that it's worked but we chose to stay "safer" for now.
Sandee

[jackiesbooks]

I am in Washington County - I currently have 3 Foster children. I 3yr boy and 2 siblings 10 yr boy and 7yr old girl. My oldest bio son is 23 yr and out on his own. My youngest boy is 17yr. ANy lurkers from Washington County?

[aedems]

Hello. My husband and I are thinking about fostering in MD. Is there a need for foster parents? Also do you have to foster just out of your own county, ours is Harford, or could we foster from surrounding counties? Can you specify ages of children you would like to foster? Thanks for any info.

[jackiesbooks]

There is plenty of need for foster parents all over MD. I am in Washington County. Call your Local DSS and find out about class or information sessions. Normally, you just foster for your county. Yes, you can specify the ages, sex, race of the children that you want to foster. It will not stop them from calling you about other children. I want to foster girls 6-10. I have foster 10 kids - only 2 in that category.

Do you have any bio chikdren home?

If you have questions, PM me.