[FOSTERMOMMY2002]

HI THERE EVERYONE. I REALLY NEED YOUR INPUT ON THIS ONE. SHOULD FOSTER PARENTS HIRE A LAWYER TO FIGHT FOR CUSTODY OF A FOSTERCHILD? DOES IT HELP? WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR EXPERIENCES. PM ME IF YOU WANT TO. OR JUST LAY IT OUT HERE ON THE BOARDS. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.

[browntap]

I'm not sure about your personal situation, but I'll share what I know from my parents. They are Caucasian foster parents and have been for over 25 years. In 1985, they received placement of an AA premature baby girl with cocaine in her system. As soon as she was up to 5 lbs. my parents were allowed to bring her home from the hospital on monitors to alert if her heart or lungs stopped working (occasionally they did go off, but nothing ever serious happened. She always started right back up ).

She seemed to grow and develop normally with only a few minor asthma problems that she outgrew as a toddler. When she was around 3 years old, the social worker let it slip to my mom that they were looking for a forever home for her. My mom said that they wanted to adopt her. When my mom pressed the issue further, she was told that AA children need AA parents (although my parents were just fine to raise her when they thought she might be mentally delayed due to drug use). For 3 years, our family was her only family and they wanted to remove her for no reason other than the fact that we were all white.

When it seemed the county was not going to budge, my parents quickly hired an attorney. At this time I was only 10 years old, so I honestly do not remember the exact time frame from start to finish. But my mom has always said that the county backed down as soon as the attorney showed up. My family adopted that girl and she is my 18 year old sister and a wonderful blessing.

Around 6 or 7 years later, my parents had another AA baby girl placed with them, she was around 6 months old. Beautiful and sweet, we loved her. Then right before Easter, the social worker showed up at the house and took her without warning. They told my parents they had a family for her and took her that day. My parents were crushed and considered to stop fostering. I honestly think that the county was "getting back at my parents" because they pursued my sister so hard and that's why they snuck around and found a different family for that baby girl. I've always seen and been told that when and if a child is free for adoption, the foster family is given first preference.

That is our story and I wish you the best of luck in your adoption process.

Tammi

[Just Julie]

I don't know about a lawyer, but definitely be in touch with the child's guardian ad litem. God bless.

[FOSTERMOMMY2002]

THANKS FOR YOUR STORY TAMMI. I REALLY THINK A LAWYER IS THE RIGHT WAY TO GO FOR US. OUR CHILD HAS BEEN WITH US SINCE IT WAS 5 WEEKS OLD. NOW AT 14 MONTHS OLD, MOMMY WANTS IT BACK. I FEAR THAT DSS WILL JUST LET IT HAPPEN.

I CERTAINLY DO NOT WANT TO MAKE ANYONE MAD OR MAKE A TOUGH JOB EVEN TOUGHER. BUT, I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PROTECT MY CHILD. IT IS TOO PRECIOUS NOT TO. HE IS COUNTING ON US TO PROTECT HIM.

IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF MOMMY WAS MAKING CHANGES. BUT SHE IS NOT. THE ONLY CHANGE IS SHE HAD ANOTHER BABY. WE HAVE INVESTED A YEAR OF OUR LIVES INTO THIS CHILD. HE HAS BONDED WITH BOTH ME AND HIS F-DAD. THEY ARE BEST BUDDIES.

WE HAVE TALKED WITH HIS GAL PERSON. BUT SHE IS SO OVER WORKED, SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. SHE TOLD ME SHE REALLY IS NOT DOING ANY GAL WORK ANYMORE. SO WE ARE SORT OF ALONE ON THIS ONE. HE HAS A GAL ATTORNEY. BUT I AM NOT SURE HOW MUCH SHE CAN DO. SHE WORKS FOR A SYSTEM THAT IS OVER WORKER AND UNDER STAFFED.

I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT SIT IDLEY BY AND WAIT FOR THEM TO JUST COME AND GET HIM.

WE ARE GETTING A LAWYER

THANKS TO ALL.

[FOSTERMOMMY2002]

HI THERE, I AM STILL VERY INTERESTED IN YOUR OPINIONS ON THIS SUBJECT. IF YOU ARE A FOSTERPARENT AND WANT TO SHARE, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO. I APPRECIATE YOUR TIME AND THOUGHTS.

[sarah&jacksmom]

Hi!
This is my first post. But I am in a similiar situation. Our first placement was Sarah. She was supposed to only be with us for one week. Then she was to be placed with a family member. That fell through and Bmom's only "assignments" were to get a full time job and a place to live. Well a VERY long story short. We were in the foster care system to adopt so we knew when we took Sarah that there was almost no chance we would adopt her. However, a year later we adopted her!!! WHat a blessing!! She is almost 3, she was 19mos. when we got her.
Then in April, Jackson was born. He came to us straight from the hospital at only 2 days old. We had been told by DSS that this was definitely an adoption case (which is why he was placed with us) and that he had 2 siblings who had all been adopted as infants. Bmom and Bdad both had IQ's in the 70's and could not properly care for a child. But the Bparents have been fighting us tooth and nail. Even though they have been told that they cannot parent this child they are determined to find a family member to take him so they can then get him and take him home. (this came from the Bdads mouth, they think they only need a family member to "sign" for them). I feel for these Bparents but they cannot parent a child and yet the court has continuously allowed them so much leniency that its ridiculous. Even DSS has asked for a TPR and the judge just keeps giving in!! My son is 10 months old and by the next court date will be 11 mos. old and we are on pins and needles. If a lawyer could help us I would hire one today!!
My prayers go out to you!! Let me know how things are going.