[asellers]

HELLO MY HUSBAND AND I ADOPTED OUR FOSTER SON IN JANUARY. WE GOT HIM IN FOSTER CARE WHEN HE WAS JUST 2 DAYS OLD. WE INSTANTLY FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND WHEN HIS BIRTH PARENTS GAVE UP THEIR RIGHTS WE STARTED THE ADOPTION PROCESS. HE IS NOW 19 MONTHS OLD. HE IS TOO YOUNG NOW TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS ADOPTED BUT IT WON'T BE LONG WE PLAN TO ALWYS MAKE IT KNOWN TO HIM THAT HE IS ADOPTED SO THAT IT'S NOT A BIG SECRET THAT HE FINDS OUT SOMEDAY. WE ARE IN CONTACT WITH THE BIRTH MOTHER AND WE HAVE PICTURES OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN HIS BIRTH FAMILY TO SHARE WITH HIM. WE ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THE BIRTH MOTHER. AND SHE HAS EXPRESSED HER FEELINGS IN WANTING TO SEE HIM SHE HASN'T SEEN HIM SINCE HE WAS 4 MONTHS OLD. I THINK IT WOULD BE O.K. BUT MY HUSBAND ISN'T SURE. IS THERE SOMEONE OUT THERE GOING THROUGH THE SAMR THING THAT WOUKD LIKE TO GIVE US SOME ADVICE OR JUST SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH US. THANKS ASELLERS

[beckypie1979]

i dont have any help for you but i am in west virginia also and am just now getting ready to do my home study and i would love to hear your experiences. how long did it take you to get a infant my husband and i are takeing up to age 3 but we prefer an infant. are u liscensed thru dhhr or youth advacate or private.

[sunfl0w3rs]

I AM NEW AT THIS BUT I AM VERY INTERESTED IN BECOMING A FOSTER/ADOPTIVE PARENT TO A NEW BORN. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY INFORMATION ON HOW TO GET STARTED? I LIVE IN WEST VIRGINIA. I HAVE PLENTY OF LOVE TO GIVE TO AN INFANT WHO NEEDS A HOME. I HAVE TWO TEENAGERS OF MY OWN, SO I KNOW THAT THE INFANT WOULD GET ALL THE LOVE AND CARE THAT IT WOULD EVER NEED FOR SURE.
ANY INFORMATION FROM ANYONE WOULD BE GREAT APPRECIATED.

TAMMY
LOVING MOTHER
OF 2 TEENS :)

[Betti]

I think you need to do whatever is best for the whole family. It's great for adoptive children to know they are loved by many people and to be told the truth and the children are of course our first priority. But everyone in the family matters. I have sent letters and pictures to the birthmother for the first few years and I understand the birthmother made the best choice she could at the time. But we are his family now and we are the ones who chose to raise him so I feel that we alone should make the choices that are best for our family. I wouldn't feel guilty if you decide that your child needs the love and security of just you and your husband for now and maybe later you can share some information on the birthmother. I think there is alot of attention given to birthmothers which is okay, but in the end, you are the ones who have all the emotional, legal and financial responsibility and you should feel no obligation to share your life right now with the birthmother...if you don't want to.

[Betti]

This post is in response to those people asking for info on how to get started. First you contact the WVDHHR and express your interest in foster or adoption and attend a day long training class. Then you and your husband fill out a bunch of forms on your desires, parenting, lifestyle, history, etc. You will need to have your fingerprints taken and sent to check for felonies or major crimes. You will give a list of references for them to check. The homefinder will do a home study to be sure you have a safe home and she will interview you. Just be honest and be yourself. You will eventually need a bed for each child and separate bedrooms for different sexes. Then you need to have a form filled out by a doctor to say you are healthy. This all takes about 6-9 months. In the meantime, you get your house ready by buying a few items like beds, toothbrushes, a car seat, etc. Finally they will call you (probably as soon as you are certified) to offer you a child/children. Foster is never a sure thing and you need to prepare yourself to have children in your home that may be very different from you in terms of personility or discipline, and yet you may also have a child or baby you fall in love with but must give back. My advice is that you think carefully about what age, sex and kinds of children you can handle and stick to it. The workers are looking to find children homes and will pay little attention to your orignial requests unless you stand up for yourself. Finally, remember that the state workers are overworked and it will be your responsibility to be sure the children get what they need without alot of support. Good luck. I'll be reading your messages!