[melanie lennon]

I couldn't help but write! We are in OHio and have adopted from Colorado!

Most counties in Ohio won't consider another adoption until your current foster-to-adopt children have been in your home for at least 8 months. We have been looking for another boy and some counties wouldn't even consider us because our two from Colorado have been home less than a year. It doesn't seem to matter whether the finalization is done or not - just the length of time they've been with us.

Just FYI - adopting from Hamilton County, Ohio, is VERY difficult so I hope that isn't the Ohio county you're looking at!

[LotAkids]

Melanie-

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I just found your post.
We want so badly to adopt again, but our case worker here in CO says no. Not until finalization. We hope that will be in November. October would be awsome but I'm trying to be realistic.
I can't remember what County we were looking at and the little girl we had an interest in was already being adopted. Why is Hamilton County difficult?
We were also told that if we wanted to adopt again that we should adopt in the same County that we are adopting from now. I'm not sure if that is true or not. They said that interstate adoptions are "much harder" and "lots more paperwork". I don't care about that, that's my agency's problem.
I have kind of put those feelings to rest anyway, about adopting again, at least for now. My caseworker, whom I love, said to me, "I'll talk to you about more kids after Max's finalization." So that is that, I guess.
Do you have other information about adopting before finalization? And do you know of any Counties in Ohio that you WOULD recommend adopting from?
My husband and I can't wait to adopt again. We want a sibling group this time.
Liz

[melanie lennon]

Most counties in Ohio are fairly good at getting back to you. Hamilton is the worst I have dealt with the entire country! When you call, you get an answering machine and cannot talk with the social worker directly. Of all the times I've left messages on the machine, I've only had one return call. That person (not a social worker) told me that the child I was interested in was not available - even though I called two days after the child was posted online!

The worst part of dealing with Hamilton County is their sublime "submit your homestudy to us and we'll let you know when we find a child for you" attitude. This old-fashioned, governmental attitude of "get in line" just doesn't work anymore! With the internet tools available, families can choose to find another county to work with... which is what I highly recommend you do!

Our social worker has also given us the "wait until finalization" thing before attempting to adopt again. The reason is that some children go through mourning and acting out again after the finalization occurs. This is standard adoption text book stuff - you read about it in all the books.

But, with our children, we've made it very clear that going to court is just a technicality. We explain it like this:

Let's say a person steals a car. They go to court and the judge sends them to jail. Is the person a criminal? (kids answer yes)
Okay, now say that person steals a car but the judge lets them off because a police man did something wrong when arresting them. Is that person a criminal? (kids answer yes)
So, if it doesn't take a judge to make a person a criminal, it also doesn't take a judge to make us your parents and this a family!

It might be worth another thread asking folks if they had any behavior differences in their children after finalization. We could then use the information passed along as 'evidence' one way or the other with our social workers. What do you think?

[LotAkids]

Melanie,
I understand and totally agree with what you are saying. I have read that there is another adjustment time for kids after termination. We were so excited about doing it again this soon because my son just turned a year old and he was placed with us when he was seven months. He won't go through any such adjustment because we are all he knows. If we had adopted an older child, then, yes I would agree with waiting a considerable amount of time. He has no clue about all the court hearings, etc. It seems like he's been a part of our family forever.
We have decided, though, to first look exclusively in Colorado for the next adoption. Just out of ease and convenience. There are so many!
I wholeheartedly believe what you said about it not being the judge or any court that makes us a family. And I guess when you really think about it, November really isn't that far away.
Liz

[Voidra]

Our attorney told us about this site - check out www.adoptuskids.com

also if you decide to adopt out of state, there is an organization tht only charges $25 round trip to get the kids to you. It's at the same site at the top.

There are some beautiful sibling groups.

[LotAkids]

Dorothy.......
Thanks for that. I had found that site and we are registered with it. We have an entire list of kids and sibling groups that we check daily for availability. When we are finally ready to start another adoption, we are going to use that resource. It's a great one!
Liz