[stineramn]

Hi! My name is Amanda, my hubby and I are deciding how to deal with his infertility. The only way for a bio child is to do IVF/ICSI . Which costs atleast $15,000, for a chance of concieving and ending up with a healthy full term baby. So I decided to check into adoption. So I'm looking here for any info that would help me to decide which route to take. The homestudy scares the crap out of me!! I also would like to know the average cost for agency and attorney and pros and cons of each. So if anybody can give me some insight that would be great!

[Emster]

welcome--you will learn a lot lurking here on the boards and the general adoptive parents board. Many of us have traveled the same route deciding options with infertility and some of us have gone further with it than others, so you have support there too. As far as places and costs--research all you can before jumping in becasue there are lots of considerations, variables and routes. Don't let the home study scare you, though. It is just information about you and your home--as long as you are honest, genuine, and have a reasonably clean safe home, all should be fine. Good luck to you. Feel free to pm if you have any specific ?'s about agencies, etc.
Best of luck!

[tall cool one]

Don't let the homestudy intimidate you out of adopting. There was a lot of soulsearching when we went through it, but it was a good exercise for us I think. Our social worker was very kind and was on our side. She wanted us to be successful.

We faced the same decisions you did on whether to go the infertility treatment route vs. adoption.

The big 3 factors in deciding against infertility treatment were:

1. The morality of putting ourselves through such drastic measures to create a life while there are lives already created that need a good family to grow in.

2. The risk/reward factor of spending $10-$15,000 per opportunity to do invitro with no guarantee that any of the procedures will work

3. The physical cost of going through the hormone therapies and procedures involved.

I don't begrudge anyone who chooses the fertility treatment route. It just was not right for us. We wish all others well.

[SadieAnn]

You'll find great support here. And many have been in your position (including dh & me) and you have all our empathy.

If you opt to pursue adoption, when checking out attorney, agencies, facilitators, do not stop with just a reference or 2. Really reach out and find multiple people who've adopted through them. THEN you'll start to get a more realistic picture. Really "drill" these people with questions. Do your homework before you commit.

Good Luck!