[desertguy34]

Hi. My wife and I are in our mid/upper 30's and have been married for a little over a year. We have no children and it's looking like we won't on our own, as we've had 3 miscarriages in the past year. We both really want a child (children), but after each miscarriage, I see a part of her being ripped away. I don't want to see her go through this pain again and again, so I'm ready to accept reality and move on to the next step.

Years ago, she pondered adoption, however I'm new to the concept. I feel like I need to do research in order to find out what's involved in the process, costs (mental and monetary) and the challenges we will face. Can someone point me in the right direction? All help is appreciated!

[Overwhelmed!]

desertguy34,

I'm so sorry to hear of your painful situation with the miscarriages, but I'm hearted to hear that you're willing to consider the wonderful option of adoption. There are definitely challenges with adoption, but I believe that no good thing comes easily.

My husband and I are in the midst of our first adoption attempt and it's going fairly well! We're cautiously optimistic. We've been matched with a birth mother and if all goes well, we'll be parents of a baby boy by Christmas.

I remember when we first started looking into adoption. We were overwhelmed by all the information out there! We spent quite a bit of time just researching the issue before we even told family and friends what we were doing.

What I would recommend first is sitting down with your wife and starting the diaolog on what type of adoption situation will work best for you. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Do you want to adopt privately? Through an agency? Domestic or International?

Do you want an open, semi-open, or close adoption?

What age child are you willing to adopt?

These are just a few of the questions you need to ask yourselves. I actually found an ADOPTION SELF-ASSESSMENT that I could email you and your wife to get you started. Send me a private message with your email address and I'll do that.

My husband and I sat down and filled out the adoption self-assessment individually and then came together and discussed our responses. It was extremely helpful in pointing us in the right direction in the vast maze of adoption information that's out there.

What part of AZ do you live in? I'm getting together an adoption support group in Tucson and would love to have you and your wife attend a meeting. I think it's important to have the support of others that are going through, or have gone through, what you're experiencing. For the longest time, I felt very isolated in our adoption journey, but as I became more comfortable with sharing our adoption plans with others, I was pleasantly surprised with how many others had gone through what we were and how amazingly open and supportive these people were being to us!

I'd like to be able to offer you support and share the resources that we've found along our adoption journey. Please send me a PM with your email address so I can get some info to you and your wife!

[todd11]

wow you could be me. My wife and I are in the same age group we had 4 misscarages and yes it is a terriable thing to watch your wife go through. We started the adoption process earlyer this year and in Aug our daughter was born on the 25th of Aug and turned over to us on the 27th. It is a very emotionel experience but a wonderful one. I would tell anyone that is thinking about this to stop thinking and take action. Good luck