[bishopmom]

My husband and I have two sons, ages 7 and 10, whom we conceived through infertility treatments. We are looking to adopt more than one child between the ages of 1 and 7. We have found children in photo-listings for other states that we have an interest in. (The children in our own state don't match.) Here are my questions.

Do we get a "private agency" social worker to contact the adoptable children's social worker, or must it be a "state" social worker that contacts? Who must do the home study when the children are in the care of social services?

Do we need to call up DHR for our home study? Do we get one privately and then go to DHR? Are they going to make inter-state adoption difficult?

Does each child have to have a bedroom or can they have bunkbeds? Is state adoption a longer wait than other adoptions?
Can we foster-parent the adoptable child/children from that other state while waiting for adoption paperwork to be completed?


Thank you for any help!
Donna

[aMarylandfamily]

In-State or Inter-State adoptions are processed/overseen by any agency that is state licensed (most private ones are ... that doesn't mean they handle the state adoptions - just that they meet all the requirements imposed for state licensing). You really don't want to work with one that is not. Many private agencies are contracted to perform homestudies and placement of the children awaiting adoption in the state's care ... so you would inquire as to what adoption services they perform - foreign, domestic, etc. when you call them ... sometimes it's good to call more than one for input just to see what feeling you get from the call which is often good insight into how you will work with them and them with you.

The in-home visit/inspection from a worker performing your homestudy is not a inspection for cleanliness (although your home needs to be generally clean and sanitary but not white glove clean!) but more for general living conditions and to verify that you have a bed and room for as many children as you are hoping to be approved for (the beds do not have to be in place ... just the notation - this room can hold two twin beds). Bunk beds are against rules for some states but not all so again before making any furniture purchase you would want those questions answered by the agency perfomring your homestudy - they are often part of training you will receive or can be brought up in the appropriate class.

When a child is matched with you - again in-state or inter-state a transition plan is drawn (some are for quick physical placements while others are designed for slow transitions depending on the child's readiness and nedds) ... at physical placement an adoption agreement is put into effect but the children are essentially foster-to-adopt for the first six months ... the standard time before finalization papers can be prepared and filed with the courts ... some states such as Oregon who are wonderful to work with require a full year of supervision reports before finalization occurs - documents can be prepared after 6 months but actual legalization occurs at the year's time.

Hope this helps answer your basic questions ... keep them coming - we keep emphasizing it but this board consists of members who are oldies with lots of advice and information to share and newbies who are learning and up to speed on the current rules and regulations and those who haven't dared ask yet ... no question is dumb and if the answer is not what you ant to hear then you can dig further to get more information in that area while being armed for whatever comes your way.

[bishopmom]

I can contact a private agency to pursue adoption of a child in state custody as long as the agency is properly licensed.
Two twin beds in one room are acceptable?
Children that are "fostered towards adoption" may or may not be physically placed into our home quickly.

Do you know if inter-state adoption is more difficult than same-state?

You're a huge help! Thank you again.

[aMarylandfamily]

Either process - in-state or inter-state - is full of red tape paperwork - neither can be said to be easier or faster - each situation is unique.

I would start by calling any private agency in your area and ask outright if they handle the adoptions of the children awaiting placement in the state's foster care system ... if not them they should willingly identify who is and then call that agency and see what you learn ... then call the local/county DSS office and feel them out and determine which agency would be best for you (one example is in Maryland the two private agencies in the area (Adoptions Together and Tressler) handle the state's foster care children being placed for adoption in addition to the local DSS offices but they work much quicker as that is their only focus vs. DSS covering family problems, the removal of children, appropriate court actions determine permanency planning, foster care and whatever else is thrown their way). They will start the homestudy process which generally includes a training program/class which will enlighten you on all kinds of little details as well as major thoughts. Note this process often takes 6 months to complete (fingerprints/background checks are a major hold up) and then they advise placement of a child(ren) can take anywhere from weeks to months to even a year or more ... again depending on the needs you are willing or capable of addressing ... which can range from a child with ADHD or a child who is handicapped - physically or mentally ... to major situations. And be warned, the intial meetings are meant to be bold and up-front - this is not an easy journey - but one that you shouldn't run from either.

Two twin beds in the room are generally fine ... depending on the situation some children cannot be "roomed" together ... i.e., a child who has sexually acted out would not be appropriate placed with another child already in your home - adopted or bio - or a younger child being placed at the same time ... logistics such as those are the last to be worked out - depending on the child's needs.

This "journey" can be very trying at times but is worth it so keep asking questions and go the next step in your inquiry and see where it takes you.

(Also ... your question about insemination is not totally disgusting ... if you are contemplating that - talk with your physician and they can lead you on the proper and legal way of handling the logistics of that without putting yourself in a place of wondering if it is right or decent or all of that)

[J.Ro]

We are in the process of an interstate adoption.

Here is how it worked for us. We contacted a private, not for profit, adoption agency in our state that helps handle DSS adoptions. (We chose not to use the local DSS because our county is so tiny and somewhat backwards).

We completed a homestudy (not a big deal really), took a 10 week MAPP course, got fingerprints, filled out reams of paperwork, had local criminal background checks and finally were approved in September of '03. We made our first phone call to the agency in December of '03.

In May of '04 we were finally matched with a brother/sister who we did find on the internet, but they were on-line for less than thirty days. Many of the children you see now, will not be available by the time you've jumped the hoops. And many of the children on-line have been in the system for quite some time, and as a result, have tougher issues. Or they may just have tough issues, and thus have been harder to place.

Some private agencies will charge for your homestudy if you want to go out of state. Ours wanted to, but then changed their mind slightly, giving us a pain in the rear loophole, but it was worth it to us to use the $1,800 for kid's furniture not the homestudy.

Now we are once again in social worker/state limbo waiting for the interstate compact to happen. It just seemed like the 7 months to get approved was long....knowing our kids are waiting for us, this wait is interminable. But hopefully they will be with us by early August.

Good luck, it is an exciting, often frustrating journey. Oh, and yes, you become a foster/adopt parent because technically the kids are still foster children in your home until the adoption can be finalized.

You've found a good resource here. I've spent many hours just reading and learning, and asking questions. Lots of the folks on this forum are very experienced in the issues surrounding foster/adopt.

[DianeS]

First, you must be licenced to adopt from foster care before anyone will talk to you about a placement. Getting licenced involves having a homestudy done and approved, and finishing whatever licencing classes your state requires.

Then and only then will anyone work to get children into your home. There is a slight chance that if children your own worker knows about would be a perfect match for you, the children could be moved in before all the paperwork was completed, but that is so incredibly rare that it's not worth hoping for.

Then your worker works on finding a match for you. She'll take what she knows about each of her waiting families, and what she knows about children in the state, and try to make matches. Families help by finding children they may be interested in, and requesting their worker to send their homestudy to be considered for the child.

Finding a picture of a child first is going about it backwards. Different states take different amounts of time to licence families, but even a fast licencing could mean the children are already placed with another family before you're ready. Sometimes it works, but again very very rarely.

It's also important to note that national photolistings usually contain children who cannot be placed in their own state because so few people are interested in a child like that. Either the child's age, race, number of siblings, illness, behaviors, or disability make everyone who knows about that child pass on the possibility of adopting him or her. Confidentiality rules prohibit most of that information from being listed on a public web site.

Which also means that each state has hundreds or thousands of children waiting to be matched with adoptive homes who the workers expect to be able to match reasonably easily. These children usually never appear on photolistings, but the workers know about them, and homestudies are considered for them.

Once a child's worker has your homestudy, she can evaluate it to see if you are prepared for the type of children she has waiting to be matched with families. It can be a process full of waiting! Not always, but often.

If adopting from foster care is something you're interested in, definately take some time to research the issues children in foster care often face. "A Child's Journey Through Placement" is a really good book if you don't know much about the process. It is full of case studies, and follows quite a few children from their biological families, talks about the reasons the children were removed from their parents, the parent's attempts (or non-attempts) to get them back, the childrens' foster families and how they handled behaviors, and the families that some of them ended up with. It's really good, and fairly easy to read.

You can call DHS or a private agency contracted by the state to place children from DHS, and get informational brochures and attend orientations. Then pick the agency (DHS is it's own agency) you wish to work with, and go through their licencing procedures. It won't cost much at all - likely just a few hundred dollars. No sense in paying for a private homestudy when it might not be appropriate for DHS placements and would cost you a lot of money, and you'd still need an agency for the classes anyway. It can be a pain to work within the system, but it's preparing you for all the red tape and headache that will be caused by doctors who don't take Medicaid, bio parents who don't show up for visitors, neighbors who think the kids are rotten just because they're "foster kids", etc.

It's a lot of work, but most people believe it's all worth it in the end.

Good luck!