[krick]

We are just beginning the DSS adoption process. We just sent in our first application and are looking for other families with personal experiences to share! Any insight will be greatly appreciated!

[wenrl]

Good luck to you in your process.

We are from RI, but are in the process of adopting through DSS in MA. We completed our training with DCYF in RI, but I think this will be the same things you will need to go through.

We started the process almost two years ago by going to an information meeting with Adoption Rhode Island in the summer of 2002. We started our parenting classes with DCYF that September. These classes lasted 11 weeks and involved watching videos, lectures, exercises and talking to kids and parents involved in adoption. It prepared us well, but we also did a lot of reading about special needs and older child adoption, so that we knew what to expect and could really think about what we can handle.

We had to complete a homestudy which involved answering questions and writing about our own childhoods, relationship, etc. and filled out a lengthy checklist of behavioral, mental and physical challenges that we were willing to handle. We were pretty open to all sorts of challenges, but did request a girl under ten, because we are somewhat young ourselves and don't know so much about boys.

Our homestudy was approved in January and the waiting began. Our worker was supposed to send out our homestudy on matches for us, which we know she did, but we were never matched. We waited almost a year more and decided to look on our own. We got very aggresive about sending out our own homestudy, contacting social workers about children listed on the MARE site, going to adoption parties, conferences etc.

In March we were matched with a seven-year-old girl in MA who was the first child we had inquired about on our own months earlier. We went to a disclosure meeting. That means that we met with our social worker and her social workers and were presented with her full case history. We had a week to decide if we wanted to move forward. We thought about it for the weekend just to make sure our heads were clear and we didn't have any second thoughts, but we knew immediately that she was the one for our family.

We met her a few times before she began coming to our home for weekend visits. She has been staying with us every weekend for about a month and will move in completely at the end of the school year in two more weeks.

It has been a long process and is no where near over yet. She will have to live with us for at least six months before we can adopt her and she will need therapy to help her deal with all that she has been through.

Dealing with the state system can be very hard and discouraging and the children have a lot of baggage that can be very difficult to deal with, but so far, we are feeling really good about what we are doing and what we have been through. We love our daughter already and although we know she will eventually present us with some difficult behaviors, she seems really happy to be joining a family. Her teachers tell us how much she has changed and how happy she is since visiting us and we have already seen her confidence improve some in the last month.

You are welcome to send me a personal message if you want to chat or have other questions.

Again, good luck to you!
Wendy

[Massmom]

It worked out so well the first time that we are now in the process of adopting our second child through DSS. Have patience! Sometimes it seems as if the state moves at a snail's pace but we found our social workers to be caring individuals. Once you go through the MAPP training course and get your homestudy approved, you will wait and wonder why the phone doesn't ring, calling you about all the kids you hear about on tv who need homes. But when it does ring and a worker asks you if you would be interested in a particular child, don't make any snap decisions over the phone. Ideally, they should always hold a disclosure meeting, at which you get to speak with the social worker who knows & represents the child and review all paperwork associated with the case. That way you can make an informed decision about the child's needs, history and legal status. Good luck!

[Mother to Pets]

Hi, my husband and I started by attending an info session at DSS Arlington in September, 2003. The social worker then visited us at home in November, but this was not part of the home study. We started MAPP training in late January of this year, and that went until Mid-March. Our homestudy was completed last month.

We also went to an Adoption PArty last month. It was a lot of fun just to sit down and play legos with the kids (funny, you could tell who was gravitating to what activity--one table there was all glitter and pink construction paper; on the other legos with pirates, cowboys and spacemen).

Our situation is that we will be first time parents. I originally wanted a baby or young child, but my husband wanted an older kid (like a teenager) because he was used to dealing with them. We eventually settled on a boy, 6-12 years old. I am getting impatient all ready. I feel like my life is sort of on hold. I want the kid NOW! I've been waiting all my life for him. I always knew I would adopt a boy, ever since I was little. I am now over 40 and want to get on with it. I figure while I'm sitting here waiting for him, he's getting older, and so are we! My husband is chomping at the bit to buy him a bedroom set. I want to do that, too, but I keep saying that we should wait in case it does not work out. My mom is also antsy to get another grandchild!