[LVTweetHrt]

My husband and I are in the beginning stages of adoption. We are actually trying to leaf through the various agencies, facilitators and fees. WOW! What a headache Anyway, we have researched a couple of agencies that are licensed here in Nevada after Catholic Charities told us that their waiting list is full and to call back in July. We want to get started now because we feel that we have so much to offer and desperately want a baby. After two faled In-Vetro attempts we know that adoption is the path that God is leading us down. I am looking for anyone here in Nevada (I live in Las Vegas) that has any information or those that have went through The Adoption Alliance, New Hope Child & Family Agency, A Child's Dream or any of the facilitators like Lifetime Adoptions and A Baby From Heaven Adoptions? I would also like more information on the home study like how much do they run, how long does it take to complete and basically who does them here in Las Vegas. Also the names of good adoption attorneys just in case we go with a facilitator. Any information would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Monica

[ScooterLV]

We are in the same boat as you are. We live here too in Vegas. We are still digging around for information. We have a meeting with the Nevada Family Services this coming week about adoption/foster to adopt. We are not sure we are going to go that route but it couldn't hurt to have more information. We are also looking into Catholic Charities plus two facilitators in California. We will be meeting with CC soon but they did tell us if we wanted Caucasion to come back in June/July. We are interested in hispanic or caucasion/hispanic so maybe that is why we are meeting with them at the end of the month. I know that if we use a facilitator that we need to have the home study done here and whoever does the homestudy will also do the post placement visits. So far the only ones that I found that do homestudies are CC and Adoption Alliance. I will find out if the State does them this Thursday at the other meeting. I will post if I find anything out that will be of interest to you.
Let me know if you find out anything good too. Good Luck.
Scooter

[LVTweetHrt]

We attempted to do the foster/adopt thing through Olive Crest last year, but decided that it wasn't the route that we wanted to go since there is NO guarantee that the child you receive in foster care is one that you will get to adopt. They do their best to try and reunite the foster child and birthparents. The only good thing was that they did the homestudy for free so we know what the homestudy entails. The bad thing--the homestudy stays with their agency and we have to do it all over again, this time paying for it. Thank you for the info on who does homestudies here. I just hope that they are not too much. We are a one income household as I do not work and my husband is in the Air Force. I actually heard that CC does theirs on a sliding scale, but not to sure of this. Like you, we are also interested in Caucasian/Hispanic, Caucasian, or Hispanic because I am Hispanic and my husband is Caucasian.

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A facilitator does not get involved with the homestudy or attorneys. Man, my head spins from all the researching. There is just way too much information for us to learn. I am hoping for a smooth and minimal costing adoption process, am I hoping beyond home or can this really happen? I really appreciate you getting back to me, sometimes I feel like we are the only one here in Las Vegas that is going through this and it helps sooooo much that there is someone else in the same boat as us. Keep me posted on your progress, if you don't mind. It would give me some hope that someone is actually having some luck. Thanks and Good Luck!

Monica

[ScooterLV]

Hi Monica,
Sorry it took me soo long to respond. Busy busy. We had our meeting with the state to do foster to adopt. I don't think we are going to do it either. We just went to see what it is all about. We decided we would adopt first then maybe down the road do the foster to adopt. I met with a friend of my mother in laws who is a retired social worker.

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Like you said my head is also spinning with the research. I also did two failed IVFs. Actually I didn't make it to transfer both times. They told me I was a poor responder and had poor egg quality. Whatever whatever. I don't want to give them anymore money that I don't have for only a 30% chance of it working.
Any thing new on your end?
Talk to you later,
Colleen

[LVTweetHrt]

No worries--I totally can understand you being so busy. I am in the same boat. I usually occupy my daytime with research and agency info gathereing and then check the message boards around this time (2AM) I am not totally obsessed YET! LOL I just talked to a friend of my moms tonight who really helped set the decision in stone to go with an agency. She was going to foster/adopt but felt that she was not totally comfortable with the baggage the foster kids came with and she had not parented before. Her and her hubby decided to adopt through an agency in Texas (she lives in El Paso) first then after she had some parenting skills under her belt, they went ahead and foster adopted. They now have 4 kids all through adoption. The first and fourth through an agency and the two middle kids foster/adopted. She felt that was the best way to go and she is very very happy and content with that decision.

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Anyway, like I said TONS of info and I have to try and process it all--Yikes!

We tried one cycle of IVF producing 7 eggs (2 immature, 5 good quality). Two were to be transferred and 3 frozen. We transferred 2-8 celled fresh embryos to no avail. Six months later we decided to try again. Two of our 3 embryos survived thawing so we transferred the remaining two embryos and NOTHING! So we decided to give up that idea. Took too much out of us emotionally, physically and financially. So now we want to adopt a newborn. To us, adoption is a more realistic way to become parents sooner than waiting for a biological child which in all honesty won't happen at all (although we can hope and pray for a miracle), but even with Robert's low count and me being ABLE to conceive I have been advised by my doctors that carrying a baby to term can be life threatening so there goes that idea. I want to be around for my future children ya know? I know I am babbling so I better get to beddy bye now. Let me know what is happening on your end and what kind of info you are finding out. Who knows? Maybe info sharing can lead us both to receive our forever child that much sooner. Take care!

Monica

[ScooterLV]

I have also looked into New Hope. My cousin and his wife who live here started working with them. They did IVF three times and it didn't work. Then they were signed up and getting ready for the homestudy when she found out she was naturally pregnant. Lucky her. They ended up having another baby two years later naturally. You never know. Maybe we will be in that same boat someday. We are still waiting to see what Catholic Charities has to say and offer then we are going to make our final decision on who to work with. I don't think we will be doing the foster to adopt route for now. I am working on my Dear Birthmother letter with help from my cousin and his wife, since they did one already. Might as well start some of the things we will need.
Going to take the dog out. Talk to you later.
Colleen

[mglv]

Hi - I just registered here - I'm also in nevada, Henderson actually. My husband and I are currently using the adoption alliance and so far we have been very happy with them. We are only in the beginning process (about a month into it) but they are always very very helpful and willing to answer all our questions by phone or email - no matter how many times I call!

[LVTweetHrt]

We just started the whole process (looking into agencies) and going to start the actual process when my hubby gets back from TDY in Iraq. He leaves 4-21-04. By that time I will have plenty of money saved up. Good Luck!

Monica


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[mglv]

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How long will your husband be gone for td?

short history: husband and I tried 10 years to get pg - only the last 5 with doctors. Not one pregnancy in all that time. We finally succeeded and have a 2 year old son born after a clomid cycle. Since then I have been pregnant 3 times with 3 losses. (with first and second trimester losses). Losses are due to chromosome issues because of our age - my husband is 40 and I will be 39 next month. we decided it's been too much heartbreak trying to have another child on our own so we began the adoption process, something we have talked about for many years.

We want to adopt an infant up to 2 years old.

I wish us all a quick stay on these boards!

[ScooterLV]

Hi Marisa,
I looked into that agency. They were very nice when I spoke to them. They sent me thier packet. They seem very expensive unless I am just a cheapo. I am still calling around getting info. before we decide who to go with. PM me if you have something to add about them so we don't get busted on this site. OOPS
Good Luck

Hey Monica,
That stinks your hubby will be gone for awhile. Gives you more time to check out agencies and work on all the other stuff like the Dear BIrthmother letter unless you have it done.

Talk to you ladies later.
Colleen

[LVTweetHrt]

Hey Colleen~Yeah you're right--I keep forgetting about being censored now regarding information on different agencies. We have to remember to PM each other if we have ANY info on the agencies that we are looking into. We really have to pull together and help each other--we are, after all, working towards the same goal here. With Robert gone, I am going to have the chance to get the beginning fees all saved up. I have already done my Dear Birthmother letter and am now working on my fire escape plan and layout of my house. I am also going to begin to work on my file folder box and start gathering all the important documents. Right before he gets home I will go ahead and call CC and see if their list has opened up and then get the info sent from them. Good Luck to you as well!

Hiya Marisa~Hubby will be gone for 60-90 days. Not too sure yet, but it will be for at LEAST 60 days which isn't too too bad. It will give me time to research some more and get started saving some money so we won't have to borrow that much from an adoption loan. This is going to be our first child, so we are looking to adopt a newborn infant. I have also looked into the agency you spoke of and I think I had said before-- a little steep for us Hope everything works out for you and keep us posted.

Monica

[mglv]

oops - I didn't realize we couldn't write agency names here - wonder why that is? Sorry moderators!!!

I did research on agencies throughout the country and the agency I went with seemed in line cost wise. And like I had said earlier, I didn't get any responses from anyone - not that I'm in a big hurry, but after speaking with this place several times and doing more research on them, I just got a really good feeling.

Colleen - do you post on inciid forums at all? - your user name is familiar : }

Monica - 60 days isn't too long for your husband to be gone - that must still be hard on you. Has he had to leave often and does he always go to Iraq? I'll think of him while he's there. Let me know if these questions are too personal.

So do either of you know what the average wait is for domestic adoption? Obviously it varies based on preferences, but I'm getting a feeling that it's about a year.

I know you both said that you are adopting caucasian/hispanic - we are also looking to adopt either caucasian, hispanic or asian. Both my husband and I are of italian heritage.

I live in henderson, anyone nearby?

[LVTweetHrt]

Marisa~ This is the first time that he has had to leave for Iraq. He went to S. Korea a few years back and was gone for a whole year. Now that was hard. Don't worry about getting too personal--as I see it this whole experience is personal. From what I have gathered everybody's experiences are different, but the average wait for domestic adoptions is anywhere from 1 month-14 months and that is on average. Some waits are less and some waits are more. Hope this helps you.

BTW, I live on Nellis Air Force Base. A little ways away from Henderson.

Monica

[ScooterLV]

Marisa,
I don't think I have posted on iincid. What is it? Maybe.

I also have gotted the feeling about adoption being a year. Could be less could be more. I guess it depends on what we will accept. I live off 215 and Russell. Behind the big new hospital. Way opposite of you Monica. Though I use to work at an elementary school for 6 years off Charleston and Bonanza. Not anymore. Too far a ride.

I have really been looking into and talking with a facilitator in California. Still unsure of using her but I like her. We are also still going to the foster to adopt classes just in case we decide to do that. Then we will be meeting with Catholic Charities soon. I also have been playing phone tag with an agency in Mesquite and Utah. Want more information.

I just ordered a book called Reaching Out to help us write our birthmother letter. Has anyone seen it? This birthmother who gaver her baby up when she was 15 endorses it. SHe talks a lot about what is good and not good in a letter.

Gotta go to work.
Talk to you later.

[LVTweetHrt]

We were also looking into a facilitator in Northern California, but we didn't like that we had to tie up all the loose ends ourselves after we were matched with a bmother. I think that the 1st adoption experience should be as pain and hassle free as possible. In other words, I think that just to get our feet wet in the pool of adoption I think that the work of agencies are better for us. They walk you through the whole process from start to finish and even through the attorney stuff. If someone is there to hold our hands through the various steps, then we may be inclined to use a facilitator or maybe even foster/adopt the next time around, just my opinion though.

I have heard of Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter. THe author of that book, Nelson Handel, is a moderator on the Dear Birthmother Letters and Networking subject under the section Before Adoption here on the Forums. They have some great ideas on what to add and what not to add. Well worth the money.

There are a vast array of books out there on adoption and books for children to understand adoption. I have the 2004 Adoption Book Catalog put out by Tapestry Books. Literally, it is your complete source for adoption books. They have a website: www.tapestrybooks.com.

Hope this helps

Monica