[jcottrell]

Hello,
This is my first post but I have been lurking for quite some time. I've been researching the adoption process for awhile now and recently attended an information seminar at the Adoption Support Center in Indy.

I am looking forward to adopting our first child, and was eager to start the next step when I attended this seminar. My husband attended as well, but he wasn't as eager I was. He decided we could adopt on our own; finding our own birthmother and saving us money in the process.

Honestly, this overwelms me. I do not want to take this on; but perhaps I am to quick to give my money to an agency. I tried to argue with my husband, but I couldn't really put my finger on why I didn't want to. I simply do no think we can handle this entire process on our own.

I would welcome any advice on this topic. Thanks!
Jodi

[tobeafamily]

We adopted our son Ryan at his birth through domestic parental placement (AKA private) adoption. The process is more complicated and overwhelming than we ever thought going in. I, for one, was glad we had our agency's support and counseling.

Some things in adoption are fixed cost wise - homestudies, legal services and post placement supervision are all required and on average cost the same anywhere. What you pay for in a good agency is their experience, support and guidance. For instance, our agency had an amazing 'bs meter' - we'd run pbsituations by them and they'd say 'Oh, "ASHLEY" again...she's been pregnant for 5 years now', or 'this sounds fishy, ask her this question and see what kind of response' or 'have her call me. If she's serious, she'll call here'. Invaluable.

They also provided 'training' on how to search - we got some excellent tactics and advice. These would all be things you'd see in an agency who does a lot of domestic parental placements.

Some things you might consider:

1. Look for agencies that offer 'pay-as-you-go' services. You'll need someone anyway to do your homestudy and post-placement supervision. This way if you need it, you can purchase other services like counseling for yourselves or any pbparents as you need them. Avoid anyone with large upfront fees.

2. Plan on doing quite a bit of searching and networking on your own. I've found that most situations come from paparent searching anyway. Be prepared to put some money into this - business cards, newspaper ads, etc.

Our adoption ran us a total of $14K, including travel to Texas, advertising, legal, agency services, lodging, meals, etc. Ours was on the high side, most situations come in under $10K unless you use tons of professionals/paraprofessionals and/or live in an area with higher-than-average professional costs.

HTH, please feel free to ask questions,

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[jcottrell]

Thanks for your advice. The agency we looked at actually does everything...from placing the ads to calling birthmoms. At first I liked this idea, but the more I think about it, maybe giving up so much control isn't the right things for us. But, perhpas I am missing something. I like the idea of adding services as we need them. It is so hard right now, to say how much help we need.

Thanks again!
Jodi