[liz4]

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Hey,
Just wondering if there is anyone out there that is in the beginning steps of foster/adoption out there in Maine?
My husband and I have three bio kids ages 12,11 and two and a half and will be adding a fourth to the group !!!
Very excited and just waiting on the first step of meeting with DHS and getting all the application information.
Would love to share this journey with someone or get advise from others who are further down this road than we are right now.

[abikate]

Liz, am sorry that no one replyed to your plea. We too are just starting out in the foster/adoption ring. Am excited but nervous as well. Found this site tonight looking for examples of reference letters - my reference people are asking what they should put in the letter. any ideas. How has your quest turned out?

[liz4]

abikate,
Hi , I kind of forgot all about this post. I'm used to getting ignored lately though.
I have come much farther in this process since then. My husband and I have finished our foster to adopt training and have completed our adoption package and sent it in to DHS. So now as soon as they recieve all checks and references back it will go on to the place that will do the home study and then that can begin.
As far as the reference letters go don't sweat them. I'm not sure what my references said exactley but they had specific questions to answer. It wasn't like an essay of what kind of people we are. So as long as they are honest (so pick people that know you and know how you are with kids if possible)
Where do you live? What type (ages, sex, special needs) child are you looking for?
Liz

[abikate]

We live in Waldo County. I work in Orono and my husband works in Belfast. We are looking for an infant or early toddler. My husband has grown married children from a previous marrage. We will be starting our training May 4th I think is the date in Rockland.
thanks for replying - I feel like I have a new friend. this is the first chat I've ever participated in . Got to go. talk / type soon.

[liz4]

abikate,
I live in Penobscot county!! Millinocket. We took our classes in Bangor. We are also looking for an infant to toddler girl. I'm really happy to have someone that will be dealing with pretty much the exact same situations we will be. Hopefully I can be of help to you since I'm just a little bit ahead of you in the process.
Have you been reading up on foster adoption. It's a really good idea. I've learned so much about attachment disorders and fetal alcohol syndrom. Terms you really need to know in foster adoption. Especially for infants and toddlers. Have you gotten all the adoption info yet? It takes quite a while to complete everything so if you are sure you want this you should get a head start on this so you can get it sent in asap and then the home study process can start. They told us that including the classes and homestudy it is about a 9 month process before a child is placed. And with us since we want younger maybe longer. Do you know about legal risk placements?
Anyway hope to talk again soon.
Liz

[abikate]

I have been doing some online research but only about the process.the things you mentioned I am not so sure about. ???????Legal risk placements??????? I have not heard this term before. I do know about fetal alcohol and about some other birth defects. Where have you been READING up on foster/adoptions. Did you research online or purchase books - if so any you would recommend?

I'm not sure if we have "all the adoption" info yet. The informational meeting that we went to said that the application process was combined and that once you are approved for foster you are approved for adoption. Is this what you mean?, or is there something that we are missing.

I keep trying not to get too excited about the prospect of becoming a mom sometime in the future. We also heard 6 - 9 months. Not much different than gestation.

Soon. Allyn

[liz4]

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Allyn,
I wanted to answer you last night but I was just too tired. I really do look forward to seeing post from you though and each day I hope for one.
Legal Risk is a term that means (as I understand it) the parental rights have not been terminated. So they are not free for adoption yet. However a legal risk placement is usually one that is being concidered for adoption. So most infant placements are Legal risk. Since the state has to wait a certain amount of time before they can have rights terminated.
As far as the information I mean the adoption home study package. As far as I understand we can't even have a child placed in our home untill the home study portion is completed. (Paperwork, and interviews and inspections) Even if we only wanted to be straight foster parents and not adopt. Maybe each county in Maine is different. WE got all our home study info at the first Informational meeting. We just got don e with our classes last Saturday but we have a closing meeting with the teacher and the case worker in Bangor next week. I have about a dozen questions for them!!!!
Read all you can on FAS and attachment dissorders. I don't have my books in from of me but I'll get you some titles next time I'm on-line. there is sooooo much on-line for information also. I guess FAS is the one that scares me the most because it seems that a child can have relatively no problems and then as they get school age you begin to notice the issues they may have. And because most of these problems are to do with something psyical that was done to them in the womb (mother drinking) it can not be changed. I myself am just thinking long and hard on the whole subject since I want to be a totally dedicated and loving mother to all my children and well I just want to go in with my eyes wide open.
I was told by our adoption case worker that last fall there was a two year old little boy that 40 families put their home studies in for . He was legally free so at least he would not be taken from you but only one family can adopt him. I'm afraid that if we don't chance legal risk we may wait so long to get matched with a child.
Some days I get kind of depressed and feel like we may never get a child but otheres I know we will if we just hold on and trust in God's plan.
Anyway hope to hear from you,
my e-mail is cciw@midmaine.com
Liz

[abikate]

I've always been a great believer that everything happens for a reason and in it's own time. From our informational meeting it sounded like most everyone that was looking for adoption was able to adopt. The Rockland office claims 95% success rate with foster to adopt. That sounds good to me.

We have completed our applications - I will type up the answer section this week -end and give our references a call and get it in the mail.

I don't think that we recieved home study information. we received application and interview type question pages.

Good luck with your "closing meeting" next week. I will be anxious to here what it intails.

Will try your email address next to see if I copied it down right.

Thanks!

[liz4]

I think you are right about everything happening for a reason. It's just hard to wait for what that reason is sometimes.
I'm sure that we both have a child out there that needs us and that is why we have been lead here. For some reason even though I have been blessed with three wonderful kids there is a space that all of us need to have filled. Even my boys are so into doing this....
I'll fill you in on the meeting Monday night. I'm a little nervus but I'm just hoping they like us ...
Liz

[DanRoberts]

Hi,
Just wanted to let Liz4 know that there are others nearby going through the adoption process as well. After much discussion (and prayer) my wife and I decided to go with international adoption (in India). We met several couples who were involved in the foster to adopt program when we had our adoption ed. classes in Bangor. If all goes well, we will have a four year old girl coming home this summer.

I grew up in Millinocket (Stearns graduate), and now live in Aroostook county. We also have three biological children (ages 10,8,and 5). I hope everything goes well with your adoption. I know it can be frustrating waiting, but things don't usually occur in "our" time. Hang in there.

[liz4]

Dan,
I sent a message to you privately. Not sure if you will get a message for you to go look at that.
Liz

[liz4]

DanRoberts,
Hi, I really appreciated your reply to my comments. I sent a private e-mail and not sure if you didn't get it or just have not had the time to reply.
I'd love to "talk" with you further especially since we have a lot in common with eachother. YOu and your wife must be so excited as my and my husband are. I believe we are having our home study done by the same place.
Hope to hear from you
Liz4

[DanRoberts]

Hi Liz4,

I did respond to your last post on 4/9 with a PM. I'll try sending it again.

[DanRoberts]

Liz

Adoption is an awesome and yet "scary" road to take. It is truly the road less traveled. We looked very hard at the foster to adopt progam through a local agency. It is a difficult decision for anyone to make, but you know in your heart which is best for your family. I have read through your thread, where are you now as far as finding and adopting a child?

We have found a child, but there are alot of hold-ups, delays, and uncertainies with international adoption. We originally expected our little girl to be home in Feb. then April, and now June or July. I know it will be all worth it in the end!

I have to accept that we are not in control of this situation, but I trust in the good Lord to work all things together for good. Keep in touch

Dan

Check your PM for more info. I know a sent some on 4/9

[Kafwaf]

My husband I just completed our adoption last month. Essentially my x-husband signed over his parental rights and I was lucky enough to meet and marry someone worthy and man enough to become Rachel's Daddy.

I'm not in your situation, but family is family.