[cjangel123]

So our adoption was final on June 16, and last saturday {august 16} the bio dad's mother called my mom and said she was going to go to her attorney and sue for visitation every weekend... now mind you the woman has never asked to have DD before overnight. matter of fact after about two hours at her house she would hint for me to take the girls and leave... I haven't heard anything since, but I'm wondering if she can do this? She's never had significant contact, or went out of her way to make contact with my DD, she calls to threaten me every now and again, or has her son {dd's sperm donor} do it on her behalf.. I used to take DD to visit her because I felt it was important for DD to know where she comes from. I still feel this way, but the more threats she makes and the more rude she acts toward me, my Dh & my parents, the less I want to take my daughter to see her, because I'm afraid it will end up like my grandmother did to me, the negativity causing the child to have low self esteem and feeling like she's a mistake...

So I guess in short my question is now that the adoption is final, does this person have a leg to stand on? She's never made an effort to visit DD, I always have to take DD to her...

[alicia hunter]

My daughter's biological grandparents wanted to see her after the adoption and the sw told me that I have no legal or other obligation to allow contact. I was told that if the grandparents wanted to have contact they should have requested to be the placement home for the child. I would think that these people would have no rights to visitation since the child has been adopted and no arrangements were made legally before or at the time of the adoption.

[tobeafamily]

Not an attorney, but...

This woman has no legal relationship to DD. Once her son's parenting rights were terminated, her relationship, like his, became 'like that of a stranger.' Except in very few states, there are no legally binding post-adoption agreements between bio and aparents, much less biograndparents.

I'd consult with your attorney. As well, you may want to invest some time with a neutral third party (religious leader, adoption counselor) to see what you all can agree to that is in DD's best interests. Admittedly, threatening to sue is not a good way to build a lifelong relationship. However, for your child, be gracious and see if y'all can work this out.

HTH,

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[DianeS]

Can she sue? Of course. There will always be lawyers who are willing to take people's money and file cases regardless of their chances of winning.

Will she win? Nope. Never heard of a single case where that happened. She can't claim any kind of coersion, either, since as a grandparent she didn't have to agree or sign anything at all. No legal footing whatsoever.

But I do advise you continue the visits with her for the time being. There are weird judges and showing that you're allowing the child to know her birth family could be important, so she can't claim you had some sort of agreement you're not living up to. (In the meantime don't make any sort of agreement about future visits, of course you know that...)

Start recording the telephone threats. Keep anything she mails you. Record the days and times you visit, when you left and why you left. Etc. Might come in handy, might not, but probably won't hurt.

Good luck!