[JaelynElise]

I feel like I don't know where to go, where to start. I'm scared that money will be the biggest barrier for my husband and I to adopt. I have no doubt that I can afford to raise an adopted child, but the fees TO adopt are outrageous. We really do want an infant or toddler and a girl preferrably. I know that is next to impossible. Does anyone have any info and/or experience with fostering in IL? Also, if you do go with fostering, can you sign up for only infants/toddlers?

Thanks for any info anyone can provide.

Chrissy

[teegee]

Hi Chrissy-

I worked in foster care/adoption in Illinois for many years and am now in international adoptions. Yes, fostering-to-adopt is a less expensive way to adopt but the type of child you are hoping to adopt is very rare. When kids enter foster care, the first goal is to reunite the child with their birth family (after they correct the conditions which brought the child into the system). You would have to be comfortable with the possibility that the child would be going home. Not only would you have to be comfortable with this, you would be expected to support this plan--not an easy thing to do for a family who has their hearts set on adoption.

If you were to wait for an "adopt-only" placement of a younger girl, you have to remember that foster parents have the first opportunity to adopt if the child has been there a year or more (in actuality, it's really any length of time since they wouldn't want to move a child from one family to another, unless the foster family was not an appropriate adoptive family, which is rare)

As for putting yourself on a list for younger children, many agencies would choose not to work with you for a couple of reasons: 1) there are few children that age available for adoption and 2) they charge no fees and it would be a great waste of staff time to license a family who may never get a placement and who they can't use as a placement for the kids who really need a placement (older, special needs kids).

I'm not sure what type of child you're hoping to adopt, other than a infant or toddler girl. If you are able to adopt an African-American child or one with special medical or developmental needs, then I would look into the foster care to adopt route more closely. I'd be happy to give you referrals if you decide to do this.

I hope this info is helpful and not too much of a downer. Keep doing your research and I hope you find a program that fits for your family. (You many also want to look into financing options for international adoption, if money is the only thing holding you back).

Best of luck,

Tracey

[trunks888]

I suggest checking out DCFS web site
that one will teach you alot of things.

[csressler]

We adopted 3 AA children at no cost. It was a process of approximately 2 1/2 years. We choose to foster to adopt a sibbling group. Our daughter and son came to live with us after we completed a foster parenting course. There were family visits and court dates. . . but it was worth it. The birth mother had another child and we brought her home when she was 3 days old. They are beautiful children and we consider ourselves blessed. The agency we used was ECFA (Evangelical Child and Family Agency) in Wheaton, IL. 630-653-6400.

[kmalay]

Our pride class teachers were from there and they were wonderful. We had the opportunity to visit another class to make up a class we had to miss and the teachers weren't nearly as good. If that is any indication of how good the agency is I would recommend them highly.

[kmalay]

Chrissy

There are ways to raise funds too. Most agencies won't require all the money up front to start with, but you can raise money by having a big garage sale. A friend raised $4000 in a weekend doing that. She went over to family and friends homes and helped clean out attics, basements and closets in exchange for their goodies and it was a treasure by the time she was done. Another way is several direct sales companies have fundraisers that you can do including one I sell for. Take on a second job like direct sales or walgreeens etc... That is why I got into my company it helps cover the costs we have had and will have in travel expenses for our situation. Some banks have adoption loans and there is the Tax credit as well. What Tracey said is truly right on and something to really think about. Good luck and best wishes

[JaelynElise]

Thanks for all the replies! My husband and I have decided to foster-adopt, going into it with eyes wide open, knowing that the ultimate goal for fostering is reunification with birthparents.

Unfortunately, just as we came to this decision and were ready to proceed, we had a GIGANTIC and unforseeable catastrophe hit us. Three days after our initial foster care orientation session with the agency we are hoping to become licensed through, my husband lost his job! We were absolutely devastated! I feel like every avenue we have looked at pursuing for adoption has been obliterated! What am I supposed to do now?

[kmalay]

I would continue to talk to the agency. Many will still work with you especially if he is getting unemployment benies. See what they have to say.

[kmalay]

Chrissy

By the way I am sorry you dh lost his job. What type of work does he do and where do you live? Just wondering if I may know of anything open

[JaelynElise]

Aww... you are so sweet!

We are in the Rockford area. My hubby has a degree in Organization Management. His field is in marketing and management.

You really think foster care will still accept us if he is getting unemployment?

[kmalay]

I have heard that some will. What agency are you working with? As to the job We are about 45 min. south of you in the Kane County area. Has he done any goverment work? I am just thinking that there may be some Downtown Organizations that may be looking for help. Marketing and Organisational skills are a a big thing for them. I have a friend that has a company that specializes in that type of thing. I know of a town or two that is looking for directors for their downtown orgs. too. I will see what I can find out if it sounds like an interest to him. I work with ours constantly so I get the listings for the state. Also there is Economic Developement possibilities as well. Just let me know if that at all sounds like something he would be interested in.

[JaelynElise]

He is definitely open to ANY possibilities! He worked for the state in Arkansas (we moved to IL last year) doing statistical work for the state. Do you have AIM or MSN messenger? I would love to talk to you more about this, but probably not in a public forum...lol.

[teegee]

So sorry to hear about your husbands job but please don't let it keep you from applying for foster care/adoption. I replied earlier to your initial post and was a supervisor in a foster care/adoption program for many years. Please believe that finances should never be the #1 consideration in assessing families. Many of our very best foster parents were ones on limited incomes (even public aid in some cases). You will just need to demonstrate that you can support yourselves and that you won't be using the child's board payment for your own household expenses.

You should at least pursue it. Explain the situation to your agency honestly and see what they say. At the very worst, you may have to put your plans on hold for a bit.

Best of luck to you and your husband.

T

[JaelynElise]

Thank you, Tracy, for your supportive words. We definitely won't be using the foster stipend for our own expenses. I am prepared to keep a detailed register of where the fees go. I can't believe that I want to do something good for a child, yet I feel God is working against me.

[csressler]

God's not working against you. It is hard to understand when you are going through difficult times. When you get to the other side of difficulties you can look back and sometimes you can see that there was an order and reason for the events in your life.

It is hard to be impatient. But that's you learn during the difficult times.