[amy100502]

Good morning everyone! I am new to this and I am looking for as much information as I can find on adopting though missouri dfs. We have mailed all of our paper work off and are now waiting for a call back. Does anyone know how long the wait is to adopt a newborn or infant in Missouri? I have heard it will be at least a couple years. Also does anyone have any advice for working with DFS?

Thanks!

Amy

amyniederhelm@yahoo.com

[mckenna]

hi,

i am adopting through missouri dfs. as far as time goes, it depends on what you are willing to do. i got my son at 3 months but initially it was a foster placement with plans for reunification. now 2 years later, the adoption will probably be final within the next couple of months (baring any more unforseen problems). i have friends who got twins when they were 2 weeks old and their adoptions were final on their 1st b-days. it depends on the situation and why the child came into care. if you would like to pm, feel free, i will try to answer any questions you might have.

[pgecco]

Call your local DFS office and tell them you are interested in adoption. They will be happy to give you tons of info. Reality is that it takes about 8 months to get approved to be an adoptive household. From there what children you are looking for dictates how long it will be beofre you gat a child placed in your home. That is age 4 and under will a wait unless you do fostercare and a young child is placed with you to be fostered then later becomes available to be adopted. Older children and sibling groups (some sib groups include babies) are placed much sooner because they are hard to find placement homes. They are often already free for adoption too! Adopting siblings menas that you go through one process and get a few children.

[lucyjoy]

For an newborn or young infant you will need to do foster/adopt as the parents have many months to regain the rights of their children. Get involved in a foster/adopt support group because they info is great and they will call you if they know of a child.
But keep in mind, the goal for infants is to educate their parents and send the children home.

[lacey_31]

Hi my name is Tammy I put up my twins when thay where 2yrs old threw the dfs I was 15 and dident know that there other agency out there so i could get pic and all but sence i was recieving goverment asst like food stamps and a ck I was young and went threw the dfs and the case worker and the courts told me that i could request to see them at 18 thay turned 17 sept 19
and I got excited and called dfs and know there telling me i cant untill there 21 .I am devasted I wasent a bad mom and I did what i thought I had to do in the best intrest of my babys. .
I have waited all these yrs every b-day every holiday as went by and I thank about them all the time .I want to see them how thave grown and if there ok and thank the adoptive parents for raising our babys mine and there I would never try to take tem away or try to fell the parents shoes I just want to know if threr ok . and let them know I did love them and I did what I tought was right. I would like some insight on how adoptive fells about b-mothers in general and would ike to know more about what i should do any help would be great ful . I know that thay live in inpendance missouri with a cathlic hom and the adoptive parent 's was going to raise them know thay adopted and thay sent me a pic of them when there where 4. thanks Tammy

[pgecco]

Lacey, keep calling DFS until they give you a saticfactory reason as to why the age has changed. Then get registered with a service that locates adoptees. They are free and there are some in Missouri. If the children register because they want to meet you too, you will be contacted. I was adotped, and am adopting through the state. I would not be threatened by a bioparent looking up my adoptive children. I would be worried about what kind of person they were now and would my children be disappointed to meet them. Would they feel then like they came from an unsavory biofamily full of loosers. I know that sounds harsh but it is how I felt meeting my biologcal father! I would worry that they were not nice or were going to be overly emotional and upset the kids. It would be so hard not to be wildly emotional so perhaps that should be handled like an adoptive first meeting. You don't actually meet them but arrange to see them interacting with their family from a distance (like at the park or Mc Donalds). Good luck.

[kmalay]

Lacey I would keep checking because we are adopting through DFS and they handed me a form that could be filled out for or by the boys when they turn 18 if they want information on their parents. Best wishes with it all

[lacey_31]

Thank you guys for Just saying somthing it means alot . I was wondering if any body understand thanks again .

[kmalay]

Lacey I can only imagine what you have been going through. I myself was a young unwed mom at 19 It was tough then I couldn't imagine being any younger. I have met the boys' mom and she too was a very young mom who tried to take care of the boys but was not able to because of the fact she did not have a safe and secure childhood either. We are hoping we can work out an arrangement so that some contact can continue. This way your situation won't happen for them. I truly hope things can work out and you will be able to contact them sooner.

[lacey_31]

*HI*
Kim do know if there is a law in missouri stating that a b-mother could look for her children at 17 yr old????

[kmalay]

Lacey I don't know. I would tend to think that the earliest would be 18. I just know that the boys can start their seach at 18 and no soon at least not through DFS. You may want to check with an attorney though that knows adoption law there.