[lojenn]

Yes, I believe that they are waiting because until her rights are gone, the biomom still has her visits. She won't want to give them up because she will be advocating during mediation to have visits in the future. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure they are going to wait.

Thank you so much for your help. I just can't thank you enough. Any help is so beneficial. My only contacts are the worker and the baby's lawyer and I've already got the lawyer trying to do something. Now if I could just get the worker to do something. It's like banging and yelling through a bunch of locked doors and hoping someone heard you and will open the door and invite you in.

[HappyMomAnna]

yep--been there on the birthmom visit rights we were driving nearly 375 miles one way getting a hotel and driving home the next all for a one hour visit with birthmom! Until that last little step is taken--they do give her this right.

I hate all the heartahce you are experiencing! But it sounds like you have great contact with the foster family--it just sticks to be missing all the things while paperwork gets done!

[lojenn]

Just wanted to vent, again.

There was a hearing on monday so that all parties could come together and get the parental rights relinquishment papers signed before a judge. We also asked the baby's lawyer if she could ask the judge to waive the 7 day waiting period after the committee meeting. The fosterparents will be leaving next week and will have to put the baby in respite care for five days. So NOW everyone is trying to hurry and get this done. But they keep checking with me to make sure that I will come up there and do the respite, I said yes, and now the worker seems to think that it is ok to slow down again. The judge didn't think so, but I'm jumping ahead of myself.

So the hearing started with the biomom's lawyer coming into court saying that he wasn't going to sign anything and neither was his client. Apparently, he had asked DHS for the papers beforehand so that he could read them through prior to the hearing. DHS refused to do this, reason unknown. But that really didn't matter because the biomom didn't show. There are rumours that she was not informed of the hearing.

The judge only urged DHS to approve the waiving of the 7 days and set another court hearing for friday. So in essence, nothing got done.

This has now passed ludicrious. I can't belive what is happening. It's like a schoolroom up there. And now we're afraid that they have dragged this out so long that the biomom has gotten bored and will do her disappearing act or just start to balk and try again for her rights. Which means we could be in for months more of this as they go to court. I just don't get it. I am at a complete loss as to how to act or feel at this point.

I hope some of you have some good news or stories. I really need a pick me up!

[HappyMomAnna]

Not sure what to tell you!

You need to talk to someone--we were told we were 'LUCKY' because a NEW law was in effect Jan 2003 which stated that if the birthmother DID NOT show then rights were instantly terminated...which was exactly what happened in our case---Birthmother failed to appear--her attorney came, but she did not and rights were terminated that day with no further hearing or court case at all?

So if birthmom gets board or dissappears it should NOT be an issue that hurts you from my understanding.

[lojenn]

Did your birthmom not show to a termination heraing or a relinquishment hearing? Maybe that is a difference.

[HappyMomAnna]

Maybe there is a difference? Our hearing was a termination hearing....

[HappyMomAnna]

I am still confused by some of the info you are saying....and you need to ask the attorney or who ever else you can get ahold of some questions....

First of all you are still refering to the committee process and this is bugging me? If they have already decided to place with you the committee process should be long done and over....and the 7-day wait applies to the committee decision. The 7-day wait is supposed to be the time period that the 'other' families who wanted the child have to appeal to the state for checking on the committee decision. We had our children long before the TPR was finished and the wait was simply about the decision of which family got the children and nothing else...

Are you sure someone else is NOT trying to adopt this child?

I understand that crossing the state lines could add some issues to this case but, some of the terminology you are using is leading me to think that the placement decision is NOT as firm as you are beliveing.....

[lojenn]

The placement decision is as firm as I am being led to believe.

Here is what I am being told.
1) Biomom has decided to relinquish.

2) Biomom needs to sign relinquishment papers along with her attorney and DD worker.

3) An informal committee meeting must be held to officially name us as the adoptive parents.

4) Because the worker stated that there are no other people being looked at for placement, she agreed to ask to see if the 7 day wait period could be waived (I asked after I read about it on the internet on the OR State Laws site, she did not offer this choice)

5) Because the worker drug her feet about asking central office about the 7 day, I asked the baby's lawyer to ask the court dirctly to have it waived.

6) Once the commitee meeting is held, if we get the 7 day waiver, then we will be able to come up and get her.

7) If the 7 days is not waived, then I am being asked to come up and respite the baby in her home while the foster parents are away and hopefully when they return I can then bring her home. If paperwork and things are not done, I will have to return home without her.

8) According to my adoptions woker here in CA, she has not recieved ICPC paperwork that the OR worker claimed she opened a month ago. Unsure as to the status of that.

9) Biomom has already met with the mediator and was worried when we had not. We told our go between to let her know that we were not being allowed to talk to the mediator until the committe named us the adoptive family.

That's all I know. Does it make any sense to you? Does this seem incredibly strange and slow? All i know is that a CA judge would have been incredibly mad and probably raised the roof if they were dragging this case out as long as they are. But maybe in OR this is right on track?

[HappyMomAnna]

Okay I understand all the steps and really have no idea what the heck is up? This is sounding like the Oregon worker has some real problems.....

When you were talking about unreturned phone calls I could take that with a grain of salt--but this is starting to get out of hand!

Do you have access the the DHS website page with all the different offices listed?

I think you need to contact a superivsor at this point in time! You might try calling the Washington County office and asking to be in touch with Dave Rebner he isn't a supervisor but he is the co-orrdinator of Foster and Adoptive families....He may be able to put you in touch with someone who can get to the bottom of all of this.... If Dave is not in ask for the supervisor of Adoption Caseworkers....and if you don't get any place with the County office I would call the state and find out if a Committee meeting has even been set up---they don't happen overnight and take some organizing.

It really sounds like the caseworker has failed to follow through with her responsibilities.....approach the situation as concerned and coopertive but very confused...I don't see how it could mess anything up at this point for crying out lould...and if anyone wants to talk to me about my advice please just PM me I would be happy to have a conversation.

Everything is happening backas$ward here and for some reason this caseworker is not getting it? Maybe because the birthmother is relinqushing instead of TPR---but personally I was under the impression that many of the steps under a reliquishment were much simpler then a TPR and still for the life of me cannot understand why a committee needs to meet on a relinquishment but that isn't my area of knowledge so who knows....

[lojenn]

Hello,
I just wanted to let all of you know that our little girl is finally home! Last Saturday her foster parents brought her down and we have been in love ever since! She is gorgeous, smart and very verbal. Her big brother is infatuated with her!

Just to let you know, it took this long from the last time I posted to now for OR to schedule a committee meeting. A month was the soonest even though the judge ordered an "expedited" meeting. She is now here as our foster child. Which, in our books, means absolutly nothing was accomplished in OR. All that happened was that we were denied having her as a foster child for no reason and we were seperated from her for no reason, because biomom will be coming down here for her federally mandated visits one hour a week anyway. We can not adopt her for at least 6 months because that is the waiting time to make sure that the placement is solid. But OR just told us that they won't be ready to have her adopted for at least a year! TPR is not expected for at least four months. But, ya know, as long as she is here now, we can wait.

Thank you HappyMomAnna and all the rest of you for all your help, encouragement, and ears to hear me vent. Thank you.

[HappyMomAnna]

I hate to tell you this but that sounds about right. Oregon children do have to be in the home for at least 6-mos for the supervision period. That is true for any family who has an Oregon Child placed. It is also true that during the time from placement to the finalization the family is classified as a Foster Home. These things are true for all of us who take an Oregon Child especially before the TPR s finished. We were also told to expect everything to take 8 mos to a year to be final....In our case it was 11 months.

To me it sounds like all the rough stuff leading to transisition to you has finally been done! And that is 90% of the whole ordeal. Oregon does want to make sure that things are stable during the next 6-months and will have to keep up with some documentation...We had to complete a medical update and provide some other info every few months during the supervision period. We also had a monthly visit from the caseworker. During this period of time you want to be sure you do what you can to have an Adoption Assistance (subsidy) set up even if you do not see any real issues right now. Open the assistance and ask for $50.00 a month just in case something does come up later....

I am so glad she is finally home--I was just thinking about you last night and wondering! I am so glad this part is over--Now just the rest of the deal until final!!! YEAH!

[marysblessings]

Originally Posted by DreamsDoComeTru

we live in ohio but are adopting our daughters through oregons foster care system.

Dreams Come True,

If you feel comfortable to do so, could you please contact me regarding your adoption experience?

Thank you.

[GoddessDanu]

Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing their experiences with Oregon. DH and I are just starting our adopton journey through the state and reading all this has been very helpful.