[HappyMomAnna]

Committees are usually called for a time when all the caseworkers can meet---the three families case workers and the children's caseworker. It depends on where everyone is from where the meeting is held.... many are held at central office in Salem. However if the three familiies and the children are all in the same area they may hold the committee locally.
Usually when they decide to go to committee they will set the date.... so if you are told you are going you might be told the date at the same time.
Sometimes it can take awahile We were told we were going to committee nearly a month before the metting was held!!!! But our committee involved familes from Portland, Pendleton and Bend and the kids were in Medford so it was hard to organize.
I am sure you already know you don't get to attend the committee meeting I sure wish we could.
I am also sure you understand how horribly stressful this really is. It is so hard to be waiting and have nothing you can do.
Sometimes---your committee will allow you to write ONE PAGE letter to them addressing the specific children and how you feel you will provide for any of their needs. Our caseworker told us our letter was the deciding factor. In our letter we parralled our life experience with how that would make us more sensitive to the children..... We used our letter to take a few of our negative issues (married only three years, and had a sad loss of a niece to a drunk driver).
Your caseworker will call you almost as he/she is walking out of the meeting....and let you know. Remember it is not unusual to go to committee more then once The average family goes 2-3 times for some strange reason. If you are selected talk with your worker and find out the nature of the committee SOMETIMES the foster family is also going and many times the committee is a matter of formality... you want to know before you get all worked up that your committee is an open field.. \
Don't stop submitting your name on other sibling groups you are interested in.... We were set to go to three different committees at the same time---the rule there is the first one you get the kids then you are withdrawn from the others.... Sometimes this sort of thing also delays setting the committee.... We had one set for Dec18 and one for the end of DEC and another for January. We were selected for the siblings at the Dec18 meeting so the other two had to reorganize and notify another interested family.
But, this is how it is done in Oregon so you as an adoptive family need to keep all of your options open.
I am always surprised how it ends up in a compition at this point but I am also glad for the kids because it does show there are many of us who do want to raise these children.
Good luck and keep everyone posted..... now for the STRESS! But, it is all worth it in the end.

[Barksum]

Committees meet when they can coordinate between all of the caseworkers. Each family selected for committee has a caseworker then the child's caseworker. So potentially a minimum of 4 caseworkers who all need to schedule a time when they are available, sometimes allowing for travel time, etc.

Usually the committee tries to meet within a month after the families are selected, but it just depends. We've gone to committees (well, WE didn't go, but our caseworker did) that were 300-400 miles away. (Oregon is bigger than some states!) We've also gone to committee where they did a conference call including our caseworker so he didn't have to travel that far and I think they do this with some out of state caseworkers as well.

We went to 4 committees before we were matched with our first adoptive child, so don't get discouraged. We also continued to submit our homestudies for other children even when we'd been selected for committee and had two committees lined up when we were matched, so we dropped out of the other one. I've known one family who had one committee scheduled in the a.m. and another in the afternoon. They were matched in the a.m. so didn't go to committee in the afternoon.

Lambeausam: be sure to post with any news.

[lambeausam]

Thanks for the information. If this works, it will be adoption #3, 4, and 5. I have two sons, eight and four, that I adopted after fostering here in Illinois.

[cj416]

I am so glad to hear that others have gone to committee multiple times and didn't get picked. We have been 2 and I was begining to think there was something wrong with us.

[HappyMomAnna]

It is actually normal to go to committee more then once.... and there are so many reasons this can happen. Please don't let it make you feel too badly. When you do go to committee talk to your caseworker and find out what they know about the other families going......sometimes the Foaster Families go to committee and the kids worker feels really good about them so the committee becomes a formality.
Also keep in mind that most famlies go at least 2-times and many families go more...... it usually isn't about something being wrong with you as a placement it is often about something being "right" about one of the other families. For example I have heard caseworkers talk about a committee with children whos birthmother loved to play guitar and one of the families owned a piano--so the committee ended up choosing that family because of the access to music---everything else between the three families seemed equal and the simply fact they had a piano swung the vote..... I have also heard about a committee dealing with children whos birthmother had bi-polar and when the committee looked at the families one of them had a brother with bi-polar so the commette felt that family would have more personal experience and the vote swung to them..... Sometimes it can be the smallest thing that causes a committee to decide one family is the best placement.
This is why I like to tell others to talk your caseworkers ears off... And give as much info about your family as you possible can, because it can be the slightest piece of info that turns your family into the best placement out of three really great homes.
Good luck

[Barksum]

We went to committee a total of 4 times before we were selected. It was VERY tough not being chosen each time, and we did wander after each one if there was something wrong with us. Our caseworker kept encouraging us and telling us it would work out, that our family was a "good" family, but that each committee looks for different things, each child has different needs, etc. etc. It was true, too.

For our second adoption we only went to committee once and were chosen right off the bat. So you just never know. We are waiting to find our if we'll be going to committee again here soon. And you know what? Even when you've been through it a few times and know the ropes, and know more about adoptive life and issues it's still hard to wait and a bit intimidating to have other people looking into your life so closely and deciding about your future.

[lojenn]

Ok, you guys have really helped me out by your posts. So now I know I'm "going to comitee". My adopted son's little sister is up for adoption and we were told that an adoption commitee meeting had to be set up. We are in California so I researched the Oregon laws (which was very hard to decipher with out a law degree) and discovered that after that we also had to wait 7 days while it was open to contestation and review. I wish the OR social worker would have told us this but she is not returning phone calls or emails.
What I am trying to find out now is if we are "in the running" or is the meeting going to be just a formality? If we are the only one's requesting her and we have a blood link to her are we considered first? Or is there some law that states that they still have to compare us to other prospective families? And does anyone know how soon an interstate transition will take? The OR social worker told the foster parents that the baby should be coming down to us by the end of Jan. The mother relinquishes on Jan. 12th. Is that a realistic time frame? Should we be prepared to wait for a much longer time. The complicating part is that we have two foster kids in our home at this time and because we are not able to accomodate 4 children we need to let our social workers know the time frame in which we are working in. So, needless to say we are very anxious, confused, and frustrated. Nothing new for the adoption road, eh?
Thank you for any info any or all of you can give me.

[Searching_03256]

Originally posted by e&imama
i live in oregon, am adopting from california but using an ohio based adoption faciltator.

How did this go? How did you find the facilitator and what did they do for you? My curiousity is peeked at someone from Ohio being involved in your Oregon/California adoption

[Barksum]

For Lojen

The kinds of info you need are individual to each case. If the child's caseworker in Oregon is saying that they anticipate a move to your home in January, then I would IMAGINE that the committee is more of a formality. The time line is very dependant on ICPC and how the legal things go. IF bio mom does sign on the date anticipated, IF the paperwork from both states is filed for ICPC and goes through with no glitches....

ICPC is the legal agreements between states as to which state covers what financially and this agreement has to be in place before a child will be transferred to their new home in another state.

Your foster caseworker will be aware of all the logistics that have to line up for this, so if you share what you know and keep that caseworker updated they can reach decisions about when to move your current foster children. However, I'd have a heart to heart chat with the caseworker in Oregon to see if they can give you a timeline of what needs to be in place and a better guesstimate of when the transfer could occur.

Do keep trying to reach the caseworker in Oregon. The really nasty weather this week has meant that many offices have been closed due to road closures, power outages, etc. For instance, all City of Portland offices were closed at least one day this last week, many businesses, and the Portland airport were closed. Even hospitals were postponing non-emergency surgeries, etc. This storm caused much of the western half of the state to grind to a halt. In fact, the storm went almost from the California border to the Canadian border. I haven't heard an update on what it's been like today, but yesterday they had freezing rain still, so it could take a day or two to get things straightened out.

[lojenn]

Thank you!!! You have filled in some major gaps for me. I knew that the ICPC had to take place but I couldn't figure out what the heck it actually was!

And thank you for the sound advice on our foster situation. They do know more than we do, because they have been standing in the shadows for 9 months now just waiting for us to give them the word. They kept stressing about the ICPC as well. They also have been trying to contact the OR case worker with minimal luck. I'll let them know about the office closures. Of course, for 7 months now the OR case worker has failed to return a phone call, but I'm sure that was because until now we weren't really involved. The case of whether or not bio mom was keeping her child was the issue at hand. Now with the holidays and storms I can cut her some slack

Thank again!

[Barksum]

Be a pleasant pest. If the Oregon caseworker has already contacted you, keep calling her back. Try different times of day - every day - until you get through.

We were in a similar situation in that there was a relative in foster care whom we were waiting to hear about. I would call every two weeks for updates...but that was AFTER I had established contact with the caseworker. I would ask her, after every conversation, "So, when do you think this next step will be completed? Oh, 5 business days? Ok, I'll call you back next Wednesday then, to see how it went." That kind of thing.

This process usually takes longer than you would think something logically would. You are dealing with court dates, filing deadlines and probably CASA workers, child's attorney, b-parents' attornies, the attorney representing the state's position regarding this ward of the state, etc. The caseworker should be coming up on ASFA deadlines if you've been waiting for 7 months, so you might do some research there.

You need some more information, though, before you'll be able to really do or know anything. You might want to sit down with your adoption caseworker and work out some goals and strategies on what to do to find out what is going on. It might also be a good idea to have your adoption caseworker try to get in touch with the caseworker in Oregon, and if that isn't working (as you've indicated) then have your adoption caseworker call the OR caseworker's supervisor. The downside to getting in touch with the supervisor is that this can make the caseworker defensive and/or cranky. In your case I don't think that would be extreme to go up a step since you've been trying for 7 months.

[lojenn]

Bio mom has relinquished (or is in the process of). But now we are being told that the baby can not come down to us in California until mediation between us and the bio mom are complete. We were not told this when the subject of mediation was originally brought up by the social worker. Now, we feel as if they are holding the baby hostage until we hammer out a contract with the bio mom and she really really wants visits. We are really opposed to this because of the damage she caused her elder bio child, our son.

I know we are looking at this thing in a "OR vs. CA" battle, but they have made sure that we have not been in the process at all and we were even brought up in court by the CASA worker when she stated that the child should not go down to california and would be better off placed in Oregon.

My question is: Has any one dealt with or have any information on how long a mediation takes and what exactly is involved. Is it a legally needed prerequiset to placement and adoption?

Thank you for any info and listening to my tirade.

[HappyMomAnna]

If your birthmother is reliquishing her rights without a Termination Hearing (which will take a whole lot longer) then it is possible this was the only way the state could get her co-opperation for the whole situation. Reliquishment is far different then termination.

There are really big differences between Oregon and California from my understanding. Just as you mentioned that California would do transistion in a few days to say goodbye--In Oregon the transistion is not about good bye it is about the childs issues of moving. California has many--many more children to deal with and the system is huge--Oregon is a small state and things are done very differently. Your state has the 5th highest economy in the world--Oregon is not 5th for anything (except unemployment)

You are dealing with two very different states, governments and ways of doing everything. I can say all of this because I grew up in California and returned for ten-years as an adult before going back to Oregon. We cannot even pump our own gas here!

Oregon recognizes the "bond" this baby has with whomever she is with right now. They also consider post placement contact with the birthmother as a good thing for the children. Our DHS system believes that most of these children will look for their birth families when they grow up---Oregon wants the children to know as much as possible bad or good.

You also need to be aware that a person born in Oregon has the legal right to get a copy of their original birth certificates at 18 (it might be 21) but, either way when you Oregon born child decides to look she will be able to get the original birth certificate. Period and this is for everyone--even the birthmothers who placed a child in the 40's can get the original certificate. Oregon DHS wants adoptive parents who will give the children from Foster Care a full and complete honest record of everyday of their lives.

Along with your mediation you will also be asked to sign a notice understanding that the birth mother will be given information about the Oregon Adoption Regestry and that she may register and the children will be directed to her if they ever register once they become of age.

The state is attempting to help the birthmother reliquish so that termination is not required. If she refuses to reliquish then she will continue to have the right to visit with the child until the TPR is done and unless you want to bring the baby here as often as the birthmother has the right to visit the state will keep the baby in a location that provides the birthmother with the ability to visit. They will not stop birthmoms visists until her rights are terminated. If she is only willing to reliquish with a mediated agreement the state would like to see the adoptive placement offer such a thing in order to avoid the process of TPR.

I do not think this is about playing games--it is about our state laws. Our state laws are almost all generated by the people living in our state and nearly all these laws are enforced by the vote of the state. DHS is bound by the laws the citizens of Oregon put on the ballots and pass....and we have put many laws on the books dealing with Foster Care and adoption issues. DHS cannot change these laws and are subject to law suites if they are not exactly followed. A birthmother willing to appear on time at every court appearance will be able to have her every right protected under any laws we have. Mediatation is common in Oregon very common. And the majority of children placed before rights of the birthmother are ended do visit the birthmother.

Have you considered getting an Oregon Lawyer to assist you? I am sure there are many (Scott) who could and I do believe any cost you pay to do this would at least be claimable as part of the adoption tax issues (you have up to $10,000 in tax breaks per adoption) You might want to consider this because you are dealing with state to state issues and there is nothing about Oregon that is even close to California--the two times I have moved back to Oregon from California has been like moving to a new country!

I wish you luck and do hope ther is something we here in Oregon can do to help you. PM me and maybe I can help you with some of the contacts I heave here--

[Searching_03256]

Originally posted by HappyMomAnna
Have you considered getting an Oregon Lawyer to assist you? I am sure there are many (Scott) who could and I do believe any cost you pay to do this would at least be claimable as part of the adoption tax issues (you have up to $10,000 in tax breaks per adoption) You might want to consider this because you are dealng with state to state issues and there is nothing about Oregon that is even close to California--the two times I have moved back to Oregon from California has been like moving to a new country!

Now HOW could I pass up a pitch like that?!?!?!? For the record - I am not paying Anna ANYTHING

Honestly, I started following this thread and then bowed out because Anna was providing such good info on a much more practical level than just legal advice.

Just from reading the last couple of posts it seems that the bmom is relinquishing RATHER than have her rights cut off. By doing so she gets A LOT more control (which can be good as well as bad, btw). I am guessing here that she is saying she wants an Open Adoption Agreement before she relinquishes - which is the right time to ask for it.

"Mediation" with the bmom is not required per se, but I am guessing it is a requirement mom is putting on as a condition of her relinquishment. Again, I don't know for sure.

Have you considered handling all the "legals" of this in Oregon? (Ya, now I really sound like fishing but really I am not). You may find that filing in Oregon would be easier (cheaper?) than in CA? Or you may not...

-Scott

[lojenn]

Thank you Anna and Searching for the info.

I have recently been in contact with the babies lawyer. She was the only one who has called me back. She told me that the only thing holding the transition up is our homestudy. Oregon is requesting an updated version. But in CA it is current for two years. So CA said that until an ICPC is opened up and (I'm guessing here) OR pays for it, they will not update a perfectly good homestudy. OR is saying that they won't open the ICPC without an updated home study. Is this crazy or what???

The lawyer did tell us some happy news. There is no more guessing on our part, we have been approved as the family that will get to have her. I don't think there were other families involved but it is always nice to here a concrete "yes" in this crazy mess.

So, if anyone can tell me anything about how, when, or in what order an ICPC is opened i would be much obliged. Thank you.