[Bjennifer]

my husband and i live in nc and found out that i can not have any children. we went throught the whole in vitro with no success. i am fighting the dr for my money since my insurance pd him but of course he does not want to have to write off any $. typical.

Anyways, I have been on the internet researching different agencies. we are looking to do a domestic adoption of a caucasian infant. i have gotten so much information that now I think we have too much to chose from. Can anyone offer any suggestions. I tried to contact an attorney, but they told me in NC they can not act as a facilitator?


Thanks Jennifer

[tobeafamily]

We're in Virginia (about 5 miles from the NC border on the coast), and used an agency here who helped us search. It took 4 months for us to connect with DS' birth family, he was born 7 months later. Here's the list of 'search tips' we developed from our experience.

We had created a master e-mailing list of all our friends, family, close business associates, etc. We used this list to ask for help in searching, and kept the group updated every 2-3 weeks or so with how things were progressing. One of these list members, a "work friend" of mine from a previous employer (we mostly trade jokes on e-mail), made the connection. She had gotten an "update" from us about a week before her ex-husband's daughter found out she was pregnant and decided on adoption. So we were fresh in her mind.

A few other things we did that generated leads and one other family being made:

1. Made up business cards with brief blurb and our contact info. Left them everywhere - restrooms at movie theaters, hockey games, fast food restaurants, airports, etc. We gave cards to waitstaff, left them on pay phones, bulletin boards, ATM machines, etc. We got 9 leads, one of which turned into a connection & placement for another family using our agency. We asked friends and family to do the same and ended up with a
"mad mad carder brigade". We got cards pretty inexpensively at Vista Print www.vistaprint.com.

2. Sent out letters to hospitals, doctors, etc. Got one call from a social worker that almost turned into a placement for another family. This would've been very expensive if my employer hadn't let us use their color copier though.

3. Put up flyers in our cars with our info on them, as did some of our friends. Also put flyers up in laundromats, bulletin boards, etc. Got several calls from these, especially the cars.

4. Created a website and linked it to adoping.org, abcadoptions.com, preciouskids.org, nurtureadopt.org and others. Got the most 'hits' from adopting.org. ABC was another good one.

Also, we really told everyone. I have a heart-shaped red button with the word ADOPT! on it that I'd wear places. You'd be amazed how many people came up and asked me about it, giving me a chance to give out a card and ask. I got 4 separate leads from people in a professional group who knew we were searching - either their friends/family or an employee became pregnant, etc. We told our postman and the guy who delivers the newspaper.

It was very hard at first (we really are private people) but got much easier with time and as leads formed. We also found so many "gifts" - notes of support from strangers, friends sharing their adoption stories (adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents) that we had never heard, so many prayers. We are continually amazed and touched.

We had no success with the newspaper or "on screen" advertising at a local movie theater so we wouldn't bother with that again. Other families have had success with the newspaper, though.


Hope this helps. Good luck,

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas 4/24/02