[trunks888]

Hi,
I hope to one day adopt a child.
I'm currently only 19 years old,
and in this state you must be 21 to adopt.

I plan to start the home study and all that once i'm age 21.
I may be young in age but due to medical stuff I had to grow up more than most people my age.

Alot of people judge me saying that I shouldnt want to adopt being so young and single.

But you know
I want to be a dad more than anything,
and i'm not like most people my age.
I'm not into the partying and all that stuff
and come the end of this summer I will have done all the things in my life i have wanted to.
anyways i'm taking the time untill then
to study the adoption stuff insided and out
For when the time comes i'll be totaly ready for it.

Anyways now that you know my info got a few questions.

For state adoptions what ages are considered a toddler adoption?

I'm hoping to adopt alittle girl between ages 1 and maby 4
Now you may think it's weird i want alittle girl,
But there are reasons.

First of all I always wanted to have daddys little girl,
Plus my mom wants a grand daughter bad.
and boys are more into ruff housing and sports and thats not my stuff.(Of course if thats what the girl got into i would support her)
and things like that.
So once again please dont judege me on that.
Anyways moving on to the next question.

I'm on disablity and was wondering if i adopt
will the amount I get each month rise?

From the studdying i have done on all this
that's a legal form of income for adoption.
and diabled people have right protected for adoption stuff to.

Also
How long once i complte the home studdy do you think it would take to find a white toddler girl?
some people say finding toddler girls is easy because most people want infants. some say it's very hard. I'm not sure what to think. also
I'm not racest but live in a area thats a very white area and thats what would be best so thats why i want a white one..

I would also like to hear some of your experances.

Thanks.
Bye

[Sharon]

I think it's great that you want to adopt, especially an older child ("older" as in, not a newborn). You are kind of young, but if you're financially stable and emotionally mature, your chronological age shouldn't be held against you. I also think it's great that you are already researching adoption and trying to prepare yourself for something that is still years in the future. To me, that alone indicates maturity. I suspect that you will encounter difficulties, as a single male (I assume you are single; that's the impression I got from reading your post) wishing to adopt a female child. Maybe you'll get married between now and then... you'd probably have a much easier time adopting. When it comes to grown men and little girls, our society has issues... it automatically suspects sexual abuse, or potential sexual abuse. Remember that this is society's problem, not yours. Don't get discouraged. I wish you the best of luck. ~Sharon

[trunks888]

I thank you for the input.

One thing i think that may help me
is I'm very close with my family(may live in the same home with them if not merried)
And so it's not like i would be the only person.

And from the reading i have done it's getting easyer
for single males to adopt.

And I also think that if i explan all my reasons to the person doing the home study then they will understand.

And I will not give up on this no matter what.
If it's meant to be God will provide

Anyways.
Thanks. Bye

[Anita]

When I was reseaching, adopting a caucasion child under six was close to impossible. We are hoping to adopt a 3-4 year old little boy, and domestically they almost laughed at our request. Plus, you will have to foster the child before you can adopt.

Good luck to you.

[trunks888]

Thank you for your input.
Stuff like this is why I came to this form.

May I ask when were you looking into the adoption?
Also did you do a state adoption or privet?

I'm planning on using the state in my adoption procces.

And from what I have currently seen there are children under six out there.

I have seen sites showing the waiting children and a few times
I have even seen infants.

Also you said I would have to foster care before adoption.
I have not heard of this.

Does it always happen?
I need to find out all i can on this.

I guess thats it.
Thanks for your time have a great day and may God bless.

[Anita]

Sorry, I don't have a lot more to share.

My research brought me to international adoption.

I contacted about eight different agencies about domestic adoption of a toddler. All pressed fostering to adopt, unless you wanted a child 6 years +, or a child with special needs.

As far as the pictures of children ready to be adopted, I have no experience. I'm pretty skeptical of online information about available children.

[trunks888]

Well I thank you for all the input
As for the online pics.
The ones I have found were from a TV show in the state on WB on wednesday nights i belive,

Called wendesday's child or somthing like that.
It shows kids for adoption in the state.
and www.adoption.org or .com I cant remember witch it was.
had a link to it that showed these kids listed.


Well anyways thanks again,
If you need anything holler.
Take care and may God bless.

[nancdobson]

Trunk888, I think it's great that you want to adopt, however, I feel that you should enjoy your young years before becoming a parent. I'm not going to judge you because i don't know you, but I'm just giving my opinion. If you are looking to adopt for the financial aspect of it, you are trying to adopt for the wrong reasons. If you want a girl because your mom wants a granddaughter, that is also for the wrong reason. It has to be what you want. If you feel in your heart that this is something that you truely want to do, good luck to you. But I must tell you, being a single parent to a child is no easy task, especially when they get sick and you are up all night and have to go to work the next morning. Children are not dolls that you put on the shelf when you are done playing with them and they don't smile all the time. A home study takes about a year to complete and chances of getting a white child are very slim. I too wanted a caucasican child and after 2 years of waiting, I ended up adopting a biracial child and I couldn't be happier. Like my husband told me when we weren't able to get a white child "how bad do you want to become a parent?" I changed my tune real quick and I would advise you to look inside your heart and see if you could adopt a biracial or a child of another race. Remember, a child is still someone who needs a parent/parents to raise it and guide it through life no matter what the color of skin is. Good luck to you in the future, however, if I was you, I would wait until you are at least 25.

Nancy

[parrothead]

Trunks888,

I recently completed my homestudy and it took about 3 months. As far as fostering, the child must live with you a minimum of 5-6 months before you can legally adopt through DCFS. At this time the state still retains rights to the child. This is to make sure you and the child fit.




Kris

[trunks888]

I thank you for taking the time
to give your input on this I really do.

I did want to clear up a few things.

I'm not looking to do it for financial reasons.
I dont even care for thinking about money parts of it
but of course I do have to make sure I can aford to adopt.

And the wanting a girl because of my mom
is just a slite part of it all not at all the main reason
I have evaluated my life and experance
and feel I would be best fitted to parent one
that is the main reason.

but I am currently open to a boy.

And As for a caucasican child
It's not that I care of what race to me a child is a child
and I would be happy with any race.

But I'm thinking of this factor due to the town in witch I live.

It's a very very racist town.
A few African american's move to down and people burn crosses in the yards of these people and everything.

It's changing it's grown from that
abit but still I dont feel it would be fitting to
raise a child of another race here for it would be very hard on the child .

Thats my feelings.

And as for wanting to adopt
I asure you with all my heart I want to be a parent
and I have thought and prayed about this for
a long time now and will keep doing so as I waite to began.
I will not rush into anything.

And I do know being a single parent is hard
I know some of them.

But I know with all my heart that I can handle it
and I have friends and family who are very supportive of this
and will help me if i ever need it.

I know it's hard for people to understand via
just these forums but I assure you every one
agree's with me on this for they know me.

Also I know a child is not just a doll or anything like that.

I have been around alot of kids
and have many friends with them and I know that
the child's needs always come frist and things like that.

thats where I'll end this.
I'm not sounding rude or anything at all
I just wanted to help you understand everything with me abit better. once again
I do thank you
Take care and may God bless.

Originally posted by nancdobson
Trunk888, I think it's great that you want to adopt, however, I feel that you should enjoy your young years before becoming a parent. I'm not going to judge you because i don't know you, but I'm just giving my opinion. If you are looking to adopt for the financial aspect of it, you are trying to adopt for the wrong reasons. If you want a girl because your mom wants a granddaughter, that is also for the wrong reason. It has to be what you want. If you feel in your heart that this is something that you truely want to do, good luck to you. But I must tell you, being a single parent to a child is no easy task, especially when they get sick and you are up all night and have to go to work the next morning. Children are not dolls that you put on the shelf when you are done playing with them and they don't smile all the time. A home study takes about a year to complete and chances of getting a white child are very slim. I too wanted a caucasican child and after 2 years of waiting, I ended up adopting a biracial child and I couldn't be happier. Like my husband told me when we weren't able to get a white child "how bad do you want to become a parent?" I changed my tune real quick and I would advise you to look inside your heart and see if you could adopt a biracial or a child of another race. Remember, a child is still someone who needs a parent/parents to raise it and guide it through life no matter what the color of skin is. Good luck to you in the future, however, if I was you, I would wait until you are at least 25.

Nancy