[ajvacations]

We have been working on adopting an 11 year old girl since January of 2006. We were approved by La Familia in August, it took visits and counseling and by the end of October she was ready to accept the adoption. We met with La Familia the beginning of October and asked about the next steps and were told, pretty much what we expected. That as soon as she said yes to the adoption the paperwork would go to the attorney for the final court approval process. WELL, several weeks later we find out the paperwork has not been given to the attorney and they have a new policy. Both parents have to go to Nicaragua and "formally" accept her and then one of us has to stay there and foster her for the entire court process which will take AT LEAST 2 months and very likely could be longer. How can they up and change the rules on you while you are in the middle of the process? I can understand changing their procedures,but isn't it common to apply the new rules to NEW processes, not invoke them on those that have been in the process for months??? I have 2 other children that I am going to have to leave for 2 months! I'm self employed, if I don't work I don't get paid, so less income and more expenses by living there. Is anyone else in the process being told about these "new rules"??? I know of some parents that have fostered but it seemed to me that was a voluntary type of thing. Help me out Nica families!

[KMtexas]

I hate to say this but that is pretty much how the entire proceedure was presented to me by my husband after he was there this summer. I was pretty freaked out because I thought I would have the option of fostering - not that it would be required (I would have done it anyway but somehow in my mind not having a choice made it different). I didn't realize that this was required for all adoptions.
To be honest getting any information has been SOOOOO hard, it is just crazy
We were told that I should plan to be there for about 6 weeks - but I have figured it will actually be more like 8 weeks or so. I am not thrilled with the idea of being gone for so long, and that is without other kids at home.
Have you checked if Mi Familia would allow you an exemption on this? It does seem odd that this would apply to you since they already approved you and all.
I wish I had more information for you...Heck, I wish I had ANY information! Good luck, let me know what you hear.

Kirstin

[dawnrenee58]

I am so sorry that this is a requirement now. My lawyer said they were considering it, but that was back in July, and I hadn't heard anything since. I also hate to tell you, but when I went down to foster, I was told 6 weeks, and it was 12!! I would take any time frame with a HUGE grain of salt, because you know how they are with saying how long something is going to be. Let me know when you are going to go. I know of a few places that are cheap. Well, relatively so. Also, if either of you have a teaching degree, I know of something you can do to make money while there.
Fostering in Nica is a frusterating process, but when it is over, so is everything else. You just have to remember that when it is done, you can go home and BRING YOUR CHILD WITH YOU!!!! I will be praying for you both!

[KMtexas]

Oh I now understand completely about taking the time frames with a grain of salt. I am not sure what is more frustrating, the speed or the lack of information. I actualy am pretty lucky, I will be staying with my husband's extended family (who I have never met ). And I work online from home, so my company is fine with me working from there.
I haven't been there yet, so any advise or suggestions you have would be wonderful!

[devildogwife]

KMtexas-this will be your first trip to Nicaragua? I know this isn't exactly what you planned, but have a wonderful time whenever you go. I definitely have a favorite restaurant there, on the way back from Masaya. The volcano in Masaya is interesting to see, so is the cathedral that is partially destroyed (in Managua), both markets are good to shop in. Will you be staying in Managua? My sis and BIL live there part-time, soon they'll be there for good.

[KMtexas]

Yes, this is will be my first visit - and it looks like it will be a long one. I am excited (and anxious at the same time) I have been hearing about it for years. My husband's father is from Nicaragua and they lived there for quite a few years when my husband was a child. My husband and father-in-law just went back this summer for the first time in about 25 years. I will be staying in Managua but I also hope to see as much as possible while I am there.

[ajvacations]

The kicker is we ended up choosing Nicaragua because of the minimal travel requirements. We were going to go with Guatemala but Nicaragua was much less expensive but similar procedures. Now they up and change it and make the stay requirements longer than any other country. I feel stuck because we are so far along in the process and we love our daughter so there's no turning our backs on her now. I can definitely say though, that if we ever decide to adopt again, it will not be international It's been a wild experience so far and I wouldn't trade her for the world, but it's an experience I don't need to repeat either

[ajvacations]

I'm trying to focus on the positive, if I do end up having to go there for so long it will be a great bonding for us and a good opportunity to start teaching her English and getting her more comfortable with speaking it. My biggest concern is leaving my other 2 children for that long, I would miss out on my oldest son's entire indoor soccer season! I miss my husband when I'm going on a business trip for 3 days, I can't imagine 2-3 months!!! Do they think that every family in the US can just up and leave for months at a time, leave jobs, family etc. I just don't get the reasoning behind it. If they want to save $ on taking care of the child in the orphanage then they should charge a fee for adoptions. Just venting......

[KMtexas]

Amy -

Vent away.
If I stop and think about how long I will be away from home I start crying. And the crazy thing is the part that is getting to me the most is missing my dogs - especially my older diabetic, almost blind weimaraner who is usually glued to my side.
My husband and I were just apart for six weeks while we moved this year - and it stunk!!!
I can not imagine how you must feel having to leave your sons for that long.

I too keep trying to look at the bright side...but sometimes it is really hard.
But I want to know more about the country and I am want to learn at least some spanish.
And I would rather wait there for however long than have our child there waiting for me.

[devildogwife]

I'm sorry this is going to be so difficult for both of you. I do know how it feels to be seperated from your spouse; DH is deployed overseas right now and it is so tough. IMO though, I don't think you could be fostering in a better place. Nicaragua feels like a second home to me. It's amazing how much you come to love that country just by spending a little bit of time there. I wish we were able to adopt from Nica, unfortunately we're not old enough yet. Hang in there.

[KMtexas]

Thank you!
You know your comment really put this into a better perspective for me - this is nothing compared to what you and your husband (as well as all others in the military) have to go through.

[motherofeight]

Hi Amy,
Having just gone through the process in Nicaragua I can symphathize with your frustration. Because of the instability of the Nica government, rules change at the drop of a hat. We spent 8 weeks in Nica before we could come home with our new daughters. I left children back in the US with grandparents. It was one of the hardest things I ever did being gone from my kids for that long. Thankfully my husband was able to be with me the whole time. I cannot imagine being there alone! My heart goes out to you! My kids understood the sacrifice we would all have to make to give a home and give love to children who would otherwise most likely never have! It was hard but totally worth it! Hopefully your husband maybe can come for long weekends or for some of the time?? When are you planning on leaving? Lisa

[ajvacations]

Some time in December. I was going to wait until after the holidays but now we've decided to try and get it started as soon as soon as possible. The quicker we start the quicker we'll be done We are planning on trying to have my husband and boys come for a long weekend sometime during the stay. I'm checking out home rentals right now, that seems to be less expensive than a hotel. I have options of staying with others in their homes but I really would like some privacy and I need internet access to be able to work etc. If it were 2 weeks I could live with someone else, 2 months...I don't know!

[dawnrenee58]

I think that renting a house sounds like a fantastic idea. I stayed with friends, and while I was safe, and well taken care of, it was not my own space. I was always a guest. They were SOOOO wonderful to let me stay, but I paid them, and would have gotten off so much cheaper if I had rented a house and not had a rental car. If you stay around Metrocentro, you would have access to food, and something to do. Don't rent a car, though. Just buy a clunker and leave it there. It was $200 a week at Budget. I ended up spending almost $2500! In Nica, I could have bought a nice car!!
You will get through it. It will be hard, but you will know your child's country so well by the time you leave. Let us know if you need anything!

Dawn

ok, sorry, gotta try out the fishy.....

[ajvacations]

I agree with you on the car. I don't think I will even buy. I'd rather pay for a taxi when I need to go somewhere. Plus with a house we'll have the space for my husband and boys when they come to visit without having to spend more. I have found a house with internet in Granada for 900/mo which is at my high end but it does have it's own pool and a swingset and seesaws in the yard. Gated community. KMTexas - if I end up with this house and we overlap time you should come to Granada to visit ! I also have a lead on a house just outside of Managua for $450/mo , but waiting to see about internet on that one. If anyone has any contacts there with property to rent please let me know, can pm or email me too! Thanks