[lil_hobo]

Hi there:

We have started a Honduras Mail group for people interested in adopting from Honduras, currently adopting from Honduras, or those who have completed adoptions from Honduras.

Honduran adoptees are welcome to join as well if they would like to be involved.

You can PM me for the information or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hondurasadoption/ and click JOIN THE GROUP at the top of your page.

Thanks for your interest. I know there are few people adopting from Honduras, but they are out there. I hope that we can all help each other to make this difficult process just a little easier and support each other.

Stefanie
Moderator of HondurasAdoption

[lil_hobo]

Just a quick update on our group:

We now have almost 30 members in the group, and continue to grow every week! I am suprised that people are coming out of the woodwork, but obviously Honduran adoption is a desire/option for more people than just me!

Please feel free to join us- we are a wealth of information and support!
Stefanie
www.adoptionhonduras.com (you can find TONS of info in our 'links' section, plus a link to join the group too!)

[lil_hobo]

Our group just keeps on growing!

Join us if your are interested,
Stefanie

[maggie_va]

You know I looked through your online journal and honestly it saddened me ---

Please consider using these boards to do some research on adoption and especially the adoption of older children as well as the issues that adoptees may face as they grow up and as adults.

From your journal, it appears that these girls have both a mother and older sisters in the picture who didn't jump at the idea of placing the girls for adoption. You state the mother is in prison and that the prison is a horrible place. Perhaps what keeps the mother going is the thought of being reunited with her daughters? Third world justice can be iffy so who knows why she really ended up in prison - no money for the court system perhaps? How will you feel explaining to the girls that though there mother didn't want to relinquish her rights you strong armed her into it (the getting the lawyer to visit and "convince" her) What about the story the mother will tell the girls? What if she says that she was in a bad situation and she felt forced into surrendering her rights?

Showing up with lots of nice toys and taking them out to lots of fun places makes you seem like "summer camp" - fun and exciting but not permanent. How will they feel once they have left their own country and their family and there are no special gifts everyday or special trips?

I have not doubt that you have the best of intentions but I can't help but wonder if you don't feel a sense of "we are saving these poor girls from their terrible life" . Adoption should never burden a child with a lifetime commitment of thankfulness for being "saved".

On a more practical note, for privacy reasons, it might be nice to not use their real names on your website but use initials or a fake name. And to be honest, as a parent, I would would want to know if someone was posting pictures of my child on the Internet. Also, don't fool around with immigration. If you are intent on bringing them here on a student visa or any kind of visa (with the excpetion of the adoption visas), get the help of an experienced immigration attorney here in the US.

Maggie

[lil_hobo]

Hi there Maggie....

You OBVIOUSLY don't know us OR our girl's situation... and what you learn from the TIDBITS in my journal based on the idea that you already KNOW the story doesn't give you the right to BASH the connection we have with our girls....

But I would like to set a FEW things straight:
1. The mother is in prison for 28 more years, and at the age of 47, will likely not live to see her release... but the only thing holding her back from the adoption is not knowing us well enough to KNOW the girls will keep in touch and visit... she is afraid to lose them 100% (and that is not our intention). I don't know what happened with her case, but she is already sentenced... and I know the details of their crime are grim.

2. There is NO strong-arming on our part OR our lawyers part. The lawyer has been VERY good about informing the mother about her rights and the law, and we hae never even ASKED her to make up her mind... and EVERY time I have visited the mother, it has been WITH her daughters... as just that: A VISIT. NO pressure, need to decide... we aren't even CLOSE to submitting our dossier to the country... and we've taken the girls for the ONLY visits she's had in 3 years (twice). AND the mother CANNOT give us the girls in adoption due to the laws... so these visits are purely based on the FACT that we want them to keep in contact with their mom and family...

3. Yes, toys and places are like summercamp, but what about the whole summer I spent with the girls working on English, discipline and other issues this summer... do you consider those experiences to be temporary??? (and just to clarify- my girls were only allowed to go our of the orphanage gates with me ONCE all summer, and didn't get toys- just stuff to help learn English!) We went through a LOT of difficult/emotional times together this summer... but it didn't change my resolve to have them live with us in the future...

3. As for the "saving these girls from a HORRIBLE future" mentality, you obviously don't understand the situation. I'd love to save ALL the girls in the orphanage from spending the rest of their childhood in an institution, but I am not adopting any of them. We are trying to help these girls because they are special. We love them, they love us... we are a family in our hearts, even if the government never allows it. We have ALREADY decided we'd move to Honduras in a HEARTBEAT if we could be together there...

4. I am APPAULED that a member of the adoptive community would suggest that we are involved in "burdening a child with a lifetime commitment of thankfulness for being "saved". " I thought that these kind of comments ONLY came from people outside the adoption community, but obviously we have some insensitive people inside it as well...

Maggie, I wish you the best of luck with your daughter, as you seem to have ALL the logical answers, but know nothing about the LOVE angle...

Please think twice before you bash someone's adoption attempts again in PUBLIC... especially someone you do NOT know...