[sonya2003]

Hi there , is there any way to adopt a baby from Mexico without going through an agency? I mean, can I just submit the INS form and then go to an orphanage in Mexico and go through the legal system over there to finalize the adoption?

Also thank you for all previous responses, I really appreciate any advise

[JuliannaTeresa]

You need to complete an International Adoption Homestudy through either an Agency, or License Clinical Social Worker or Masters in Social Worker.

The Agency's or Worker's copy of License needs to be a part of your Dossier.

BCIS or whatever their name is now is now requiring that the Homestudy be attached to your application before they process the paperwork.

[sak9645]

Mexico is one of the more complicated countries, when it comes to adoption.

Each state within Mexico has its own adoption rules, and may also not have clear interpretations of some of the rules. People also feel that there is a high degree of corruption in the system.

Unless you know the laws very well, unless you know the culture very well, and unless you know the various key players very well, you could easily lose your heart and your money.

Moreover, you should know that, just because a child is in an orphanage and is adoptable under the law of the particular state in which he/she lives, he/she may or may not be eligible for immigration to the U.S. The U.S. BCIS/INS has very specific criteria, which can be found in the Immigration and Nationality Act, for granting adoption visas. If a child does not meet the criteria, you will not be able to bring him/her into the U.S. unless you live overseas with him/her for two years.

In addition, it is a good idea for any person adopting independently from anywhere to have a very solid knowledge of the physical, mental, and emotional health problems affecting institutionalized children and how to diagnose them. A good ability to read, in Spanish, Mexican medical records and court proceedings can also be important. Many people simply do not know how to determine whether a child has a condition such as fetal alcohol syndrome, which can have a serious impact on learning and behavior. Many people will not be able to ascertain, from medical and legal records, whether the child has been a victim of sexual or physical abuse and will likely require years of therapy. And so on.

In short, doing an independent adoption in Mexico is very, very risky. I would strongly recommend that, if you do not have intimate knowledge of both the legal system in Mexico and U.S. immigration law, you would be better served to work with a very reputable agency that has a lot of experience in a particular state.

Sharon

[jclovers]

We are 1 and a half years inthe middle of adopting a 11 year old girl from a shelter with out an agency just a lawyer who speaks spanish. This is our 5th adoption and by far the worst stressful drawn out problematic adoption we have ever done. We have felt so over our heads. W e are the legal parents now as of our last visit. She carries our name. Immigration is trying and frustrating. Tijuana is very nice. We cant seem to get past mexican passport that was suppose to be the easy part. Let me tell you nothing is easy in a mexican adoption. We werent seeking to adopt again our church came to us and told us about a girl that needed a home. We are always open to children in need. This has been a stressful rough adoption. If I knew going in what it would be like I would have never got involved.
Yes our daughter is wonderful and we have bonded. But this is a tough adoption. Mexico is not fun. We have adopted from Guatemala and the US they were a peice of cake compared to this. Just words of wisdom. We are just starting immigration. That whole process is a bear. A big huge grizzly bear.

[bromanchik]

Originally posted by jclovers
This has been a stressful rough adoption. If I knew going in what it would be like I would have never got involved.
Yes our daughter is wonderful and we have bonded. But this is a tough adoption.

I hope your daughter never sees what you wrote or learns of your feelings. I understand it is tough, but if I, as an adoptee, knew my parents wished they had never got involved because it was so much trouble, I would be heartbroken. Parents are supposed to want to walk through fire for their children.

[Krispy]

My hasband and I are considering an adoption from Mexico. He is a first generation american, and has most of his family still living in Tijuana. We live in San Diego, and go across to TJ monthly. Where do we start? Do we need an agency? We have an Uncle who is an attorney, and are very friendly with many of the Catholic priests. Is this something we should look into? My husband and I both speak spanish, and are of Mexican decent.

[llllbabyllll]

Originally posted by bromanchik
I hope your daughter never sees what you wrote or learns of your feelings. I understand it is tough, but if I, as an adoptee, knew my parents wished they had never got involved because it was so much trouble, I would be heartbroken. Parents are supposed to want to walk through fire for their children.

No doubt i would never wish something like that!

[samuelcv]

I would agree with the readers out there that a “do-it-yourself” adoption in Mexico is not really feasible. The rationale for this opinion is not that it cannot be done theoretically, rather that the likelihood that all requirements and processes ending favorably for you without outside assistance is just very remote. One reader alludes to Mexico being corrupt, and yes that is true, but so are many of the countries where adoptions are now taking place. Most countries which have adoption “out” programs do so because of the economic drain on the internal resources of that country and not out of love or compassion and yes they too are fraught with corruption. The balance to be struck is to obtain a facilitator/attorney who knows the system and minimizes the influence of influence in the equation.

Secondly as the same reader alludes, this time being geographically correct, that there are 31 states in Mexico. But the reality of their theory ends there since the basis for adoptions in all 31 states in basically the same, with minor differentiations. The problem with the Mexican equation is not Mexico, but rather the perceptions of those individuals who have had experience in dealing with failed adoptions. Having worked both ends of the process, whether it be performing adoptions directly or trouble-shooting adoptions for other “agencies”, the process is the same and their failures are the same. They fail to do their logistical and logical surveying of the process. You cannot just hire a lawyer in Mexico; you must hire an international legal specialist with associations and ties to Mexican law firms. While an adoption in a country with a central adoption office or governmental agency is like fishing in a barrel and an adoption in a country like Mexico is like an adoption in the US. This is because Mexico does not have a formal or informal program of adopting out its unneeded or undesired children. Thus the process is approached by “anyone” be they Mexican or American or Chinese, etc… by the formal filing of a request for adoption to the appropriate agency (DIF). And yes there are private adoptions where the DIF sanctions the adoption of the child found for the adoption (another of many mistruths) by the adoptive parents and or their agent.

In short the process of adoption is a legal process and as such is best left to the capable hands of an attorney who has specialty in Mexico-US adoptions, just as most readers would use an attorney for an adoption here. As to the rest of the ranting and raving about Mexico being “this way or that way” the majority of comment is conjecture. I have practiced law in Mexico and in the US and I will state that after studying the process with a critical eye I find that Mexican adoptions are quite feasible if the rights adoptive parent meets the right adoption coordinator/facilitator/lawyer (interchangeable terms in these forums). Good luck.

Samuelcv

Any questions please let me know.

[Elaine26]

I'm sorry, but I have to agree that you should never let your child know you feel that way. I'm sure it was just a comment taken out of text, and what you really meant was that it was very hard.

My parents went through pure hell when adopting me. They drove hundreds of miles many times to pick me up just to find out that my bmom had changed her mind, again and again. That was just the beginning. I was sick too. They recieved alot of critisim from hateful neighbors saying that I was not really a real part of our family. It goes on & on. The one thing they will tell you is that every second of crap they put up with was worth the years of love they got in return. Thats what family is. Unconditional!!!!! I would have been crushed to hear that they would have not done it again if given the chance. It always amde me feel special that they went through what they did and still kept coming back for more just to make me a part of their family.

My son has alot of health problems that make our lives harder sometimes,but I could never imagine saying that if I had the chance to do it over again that I would change the fact that he's here just because it's hard some days. He is still my son and I will go through anything to protect him. I wouldgo through 100 times the trouble if I had it to do over, just so I could be a part of his life.

Again please don't misunderstand me. I'm sure you love your child. I just thought it would help to hear the perspective of an adoptee who's parents walked through hell & back to get me.
Elaine26

[thesojourners]

to jclovers

It must break your heart every time you leave your adopted daughter behind in Mexico, waiting for judges and passport offices and immigration attorneys to finally pull their their acts together and allow your daughter to finally join you in the US. A year-and-a-half of paperwork! With more to come! Unfortunately, completely believable.

I went through an adoption here in Mexico that left me many times in tears and despairing of ever returning to the US with my precious daughter. I have friends whose experiences have been much longer and more difficult than my own. While in the midst of it all, it can seem impossible to go on and impossible to go back.

BUT right now, my little daughter is watching Winnie the Pooh and turning somersaults on the bed. She finally made it to the US and we are actually visiting grandparents (who are thrilled) . . . it is SO WORTH IT. EVEN AFTER ALL ANGUISH AND PAPERWORK!

Time heals. Watching my daughter makes all the effort worth it. Lord willing, immigration day WILL COME, and once your child is home, the anguish and uncertainty of this process will begin to ease.

Hang in there! And we will be waiting for good news . . .

Anne

[ashlyne]

Thank you for the encouraging words.

[melgrant]

I have two bio children who are Mexican citizens. I lived for a number of years in Mexico City and I speak fluent, native-level Spanish. I have family there and, as a lawyer, I have excellent legal contacts there. When we decided to adopt, Mexico would have been our first and most obvious choice.

But my husband and I sadly but firmly said no to Mexico, and chose to adopt through Guatemala. Our adoption experience has been long and difficult and the kids aren't home yet (we are adopting a sibling group), but as I sit here today there is at least a 90% chance that the children we are adopting WILL be in our home within a year of beginning the process. That cannot be said about any adoption through Mexico.

I wish anyone who adopts in Mexico the best of luck -- Heaven knows there are plenty of children who dearly need families! -- but know that it is a very risky road.

Melissa