[corgilover2]

Hello to you all!

I am new to this forum and I have some questions and would like to share with you all a little about our situation.

My husband and I have been married for 19 years and have 3 children of our own. A son 17 and 2 daughters 13 and 10. We are a pretty happy family with the occasional "bumps" in the road that come with parenthood.

I have considered international adoption for the last 2 years now and my hope is to someday adopt from China. This is something I have given a lot of thought.

I am 40 years old and my husband 48. His age is a concern for me because of the age limitations China places on adoptive parents. Due to financial concerns we can't even begin the HS/application process.

This is something that will be resolved over the next 30 months however. I am a nurse that owned an Elder care business that failed and put an enourmous amount of debt on several credit cards. Needless to say because of me, we would not qualify for a loan to start our process. My husband is a COO of a bank processing company and earns a 6 figure income, but all the extra that we have goes to paying back our debt. I work part time as an occupational health nurse as well. My plan is to stop working after the debt is paid back.

Besides the above mentioned troubles, my 2 oldest children are not what I'd like to call "on board" with adopting a child. The youngest loves the idea however. They are great kids, they just don't understand my feelings I guess.

Has anyone out there adopted a child with teens?

I just can't stop thinking about this. I want so much to adopt a little girl. I know in my heart this is what I should do. Am I hopeless in thinking that this can some how still happen?

I love reading sucess stories. I am glad that there are couples out there that give these children a real home and hope.

I am just feeling a little down today. Any thoughts you may have would be great. Good or bad.

[Sohmakun]

I think your DH's age would prevent you from adopting a healthy child so you may want to be flexible with your child's health or consider another country.

Most adoption agencies don't like for adoptive parents to have huge amounts of debt because adoption is very expensive and adding more debt can cause you to file for bankruptcy. Not to mention an extra child is going to cause more strain on your finances.

I would suggest that you get out of debt first before adopting.

I don't have any advice for about your teens since I'm childless but there is a really nice woman on here name Sharon that could give you some advice.

[laura422]

China will only place healthy children with parents aged 50 or under, so your husband's age will start to become an issue soon. Some countries are flexible on age requirements when the primary caregiver (which I assume would be you) is several years younger than the older parent, but I doubt China would do this given their tightening restrictions. However, you would still be eligible to adopt special needs children up to the age of 55. Many of these children have minor or correctable special needs - we went through this program in early 2005 and our daughter is just perfect.

Your financial situation: China's requirements are asset/debt based as well as income based, so you will definitely need to erase most of that debt before beginning the process.

As for your older children not being receptive to adoption, I think that their opinions should not influence your decision heavily. After all, you are the parents - if you were to fall pregnant they would not have a say in the matter. Definitely talk to them about it and try to work out exactly why they are uncomfortable with it, but do not allow them to dissuade you from adopting if it is something you feel strongly about. You may find that they completely change their minds once you have a referral and it feels more as though they have a real little brother or sister rather than just a concept.

Good luck with your adoption journey!

[corgilover2]

Thank you! We would not start the process until we are debt free. My husband and I do very much agree on that issue, which may be as long as 30 months away. He will be 48 in April and close to 51 by the time we would be ready to begin the adoption process. I must say my husband is a young 48 year old. He was 38 when our last daughter was born. We both are very healthy. No meds, non-smokers, non-drinkers, etc!

My oldest would be in college and would not care at that point about the adoption. He would be fine with it. Our middle child would I think would change her mind too.

As far as a SN child, I am sure we could love her just as much!! We have not looked into the SN, but I will today!
Take care everyone!

[specialk4b]

We adopted a SN boy from China this past year. Let me know if you have any questions. It's been a tremendous experience.

[corgilover2]

specialk4b sent you a PM