[Nike1902]

I am going to adopt from an Asian country, but first I wanted to ask everyone:

when you adopt a child who's 2-4, do you feel it's a good idea to change their name? I understand that having a foreign, hard-to-pronounce name is difficult, but what it it's an easy-to-pronounce name? Or do some of you feel that you should just change it regardless of age or pronunciation?

[sakelley]

My husband and I were just discussing this last night. We are adopting a child that will be close to 3 years old when we travel to China to get her this fall. We were originally going to change her name to Kaitlyn because we love that name. However, we have decided that we would name her something that her current name Lei will be short for such as Leila or Leianna. We felt that since we were going to be basically turning her world upside down that we should keep her name so she would have something familiar to her.

[Mihoshi]

I have to say that I'm quite on the fence for the topic. While it might be something familiar to the child, it could also become something hated - I hear many kids don't deal well with their past when they are happy with their new family. I recall a story by a young woman who was adopted at 4-ish from Guatemala, everything she had from the orphanage (including her middle name, which used to be her first name prior to adoption) was "ugly" and bad to her.

Perhaps it's best, for some children, to give them a completely clean start - and let them deal with their past over time. A new name is almost like a christening into the new family in many aspects. Bio parents name their children, and maybe in some psychological way that tells the adopted child that they are given the same care. But, at the same time, it's hard to tell them to give up the only identity they've ever had.

Of course, if the child is old enough, you could ask for their input on the situation.

[Shawn_in_Korea]

I live in Korea right now with my newly adopted son. He is 8 years old and he already had an English name that he choose before I met him and all the older children have done the same at his orphanage. I am an English teacher here and many kids in asian countries adopt English names because they know that most of their names are hard for English speaking people to pronounce. My son and I talked about it and we decided that when we are in America and when he speaks to English speaking people he will use his English name and when he is in Korea and speaks to Koreans, he will use his Korean name. I know our case is a little different as he is older and we live in his country, but I feel that if you try to explain things to a child they will understand. But I also agree with trying to tailor a childs name to an english name. In Korea a popular Korean name is Jeong, so many Korean men will just call themselves John when they speak to English speaking people. It is the same for me here, many students will give there teachers a Korean name, because it is easier for them. My name in Korea is Horangi (tiger) which is funny because it is never used as a name here.