[Ashlea]

Hi,
I’m new here and new to adoption. I’m a 30-year-old CC single and I really feel God put it on my heart to adopt. I would love to start a family. I’m so confused by the adoption process and it seems the more I read, the more confused I get! How hard is it for a single to adopt? What do I need to do now? I really would like to adopt an infant-1 year and the race or sex is not particularly important to me. I’m in Corpus Christi, Texas and am currently in the process of buying the house that I’m renting. I guess I just need to know where to start and how hard it is for a single to adopt. Thank you. This is really a wonderful place!
God Bless,
Ashlea

[mckenna]

i am single and adopting from my state's foster care system. i was a foster parent first when my son came to my home at 3months old. he is now almost 2 and his adoption should be final in june. it has not been hard for me at all, however, you do have to be prepared that children that come into your home may reunite with their birth families.

[Ashlea]

How do you get involved in Foster Care? Congrats about your son! Was it so nerve wrecking to wait that long to adopt? Also, I'm not poor, nor am I rich though and I do work outside of the home half of the day, will this cause any roadblocks for me?

[mckenna]

i have been a full time out of the home working foster parent for 3 years. the fact that i work has never played a part in my ability as a foster parent. at first, i only intended on fostering, but once my son came into my home and it was clear that re-unification with bfamily was not an option (this happened about 9 months after i got him), i decided that i wanted to adopt. anyway, it is a long process and working with the state foster care system can be challeging, but the end result is wonderful. i have friends that took a aa baby home from the hospital, and while there was still a possibility that the child would not be available for adoption, the chance was small. anyway, their adoption was final by the time he was 1. if you have any other questions about the foster care system, i would love to help.

[sak9645]

I'm 57 and single. When I was "only" 51, I brought home my wonderful daughter from China. She was 18.5 mo. old then and is 7 now. She has emerged as a healthy, very bright, loving/empathic, and absolutely gorgeous child; we are having a wonderful time!

Many foreign countries in Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, and Latin America permit adoption by single women; single men have occasionally adopted as well. Some countries have infants available; others have only toddlers and older children. The children have generally been abandoned or totally relinquished. Most adoptions are closed, though families sometimes get to meet the birth family or at least learn about them if the children have been relinquished, rather than abandoned. While there are medical risks to all adoptions, many of the children come home in good health except for minor bugs and minor delays due to institutionalization, or with only the diagnoses the adoptive parents agreed to in advance.

The adoption system in some countries is very well developed and organized. There are also many very reputable agencies in the U.S. placing children from overseas. While some countries also permit independent adoption or adoption through facilitators and attorneys, the person with little knowledge of a particular country, of U.S. immigration requirements, and of the medical and other risks in adoption would do best working through a licensed, not-for-profit agencies with a history of completing ethical adoptions from the country.

International adoption has higher associated fees than adoption from U.S. foster care; however, it is often a good deal less expensive than domestic agency adoption or even some private adoptions, especially if a person has a domestic private adoption or two "fall through". The main costs are associated with the homestudy (which you would have even in domestic adoption), INS approval of parent and child, certification and authentication in the U.S. of the documents in the person's dossier, the agency fee, the various costs associated with the foreign finalization, any mandatory orphanage donation, visa-related fees, and foreign travel. A few countries permit escort, which is a little cheaper (though not half as beneficial as traveling to see your child's country). Many singles have adopted from China for $15,000 or less, including everything; admittedly, some countries are higher, such as Guatemala.

Adoption of U.S. children is wonderful, and should certainly be encouraged. However, many singles report great frustration with domestic adoption. Either birthmothers will not choose a single, or the available children are older or have special needs, or the person's evaluation of the medical risks comes out unfavorably, etc.

In addition, some people are simply drawn to the children overseas because their situation is simply so dire. There are countries in which women still die in childbirth all too often, leaving a father who cannot cope with his family needs. There are countries in which children are orphaned by war, with no relatives to take them in. There are countries in which women who have babies while unmarried are pariahs, so they must find a way to deliver secretly and make an adoption plan. There are countries in which a large proportion of the population is so desperately poor that an additional child in the family means no one gets enough to eat. There are countries in which political and cultural factors lead to a preference for one gender over another. And there are countries in which medical care resources are scarce, and where a parent often makes an adoption plan because she cannot get the care her child needs for anything from pneumonia to cleft palate to an undescended testicle.

In short, do consider all of your options. If at all possible, take a pre-adoption class, so that you understand your various options, their risks, and their good points.

There IS a child who needs you, and who will fit your family. And you probably will be a FINE parent.

Sharon

[Support2Adopt]

To find out how to adopt through the foster care system, you can call your county's Dept. of Social Services and ask them to send you information. JJ

[Ashlea]

Thank you so much for your responses. It is really nice to know there is such a massive support group for such a worthy cause. I will call Social Services Monday about the Foster/Adopt program. There's a meeting the second Monday of every month here in Corpus Christi, and I plan on going to the next one.

Susan, Congrats on your daughter. It's so encouraging to hear stories like yours. I know adoption is right for me and I'm very anxious to get started. Please keep me in your prayers.

Thank you all again. I'll let you know what I find out Monday.
God Bless,
Ashlea

[sofla100]

I would second going with International Adoption. We are going to the Ukraine, but had also strongly considered China. If you can make it work in the USA, that is certainly OK, but, our experience is not favorable here. The USA is too burdened with a foster care system that won't often relinquish the kids for adoption due to the "birthparent rights" issue. Also, the foster care system can unfortunately nourish a continued connection between a foster child and a disturbed parent that becomes pathological over time. This just hurts the kids and causes them to develop crazy identity issues or makes the kids want acceptance from bio parents whose lives are marked by failure.
No, we are both 47 and we do not want to wait years and years, nor are we up to Special Needs kids (although God bless the people who will take them). So, international seemed best. Also, the kids in these countries absolutely need homes, no question about it, so its an absolutely wonderful thing to do.

[sheraprincessop]

Cindy - Please look at our website at www.thecorreias.com

We just adopted from the country of Kazakhstan. I think our website is very informative and we certainly believe that our babies are just terrific!!!

Our agency world partners adoption have a first class facilitation team in Kazakhstan. I don't believe they come any better. (I'm fussy - I have owned a business for 12 years).

Neither my husband nor I have any affiliation to our agency - we just had a great experience. Single women can adopt one child and Kazkahstan does have Eurasian or Caucasian children available.

Our agency's website is www.worldpartnersadoption.org

Good luck - if you have any questions let me know (you can reach me on e-mail via our website).

Best,
Denise

[dadfor2]

not sure where you are in the adoption process. as for single parents adopting. In our MAPP class, there was a single father there who wanted to adopt......that was 1 yr ago. he is now the proud father of a 6 yr old boy.

He had no hassles at all. but I live in Mass., im sure its different in every state, but here in boston, singles, gays, etc. it doesnt matter, as long as you can provide a loving home for a child, your golden. there is just too many kids that need love and good homes to say since your single you cant adopt.

and it costs nothing....as for birth families, i heard all the horror stories, but i think percentage wise, there really arent that many that get their kids back...the chances of that happening are in your favor. again, here they give the bio parents or parent, one year to get their act together, so they dont keep these kids in foster care for ever. Of course, they have a write to appeal, but then agian, usually, if they couldnt do their treatment plan, chances are they wont follow through the appeal. sometimes they do it, just out of guilt, so they can say to themselves "ive tried everything i could"

hope this helps and god bless

dadfor2.

[Destiny]

I am a single adoptive mom of a little girl... I have had a great experience adopting... I adopted my daughter from an agency here in Kansas... It took me 2 days from the time I got all my paperwork done to be matched.. She was born a day later... I adopted her from Missouri.
The agency was wonderful to work with and never said anything about me being a single parent.. Oh yeah I was also considered pretty young at the time(25) but thing still went great... If you would like to talk more about my experience I would be glad to share.. Goodluck and God bless you

[mater1]

I adopted my son out of the hospital three years ago in a domesic adoption. He is wonderful. The wait was around three years. I plan to adopt again as a single. It really just depends on what the bparents are looking for. Age was really not a problem for me, but I think that you are a really great age.

[Ashlea]

Thank you all for the responses. They encourage me so much. Well I'm playing phone tag with a place called "Lutheran Social Services," about the Foster/Adopt program and will hopefully have some news soon. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and keep telling me these wonderful adoption stories. God Bless,
Ashlea

[Mary Ann Bednar]

I had no trouble as a single parent adopting. I adopted my first child as a new born when I was 40, 4yr later we added my second daughter. Now at a young 51 I've added a set of 4yr old twin boys. My first adoption was private, the second through an agency in Pennsylvania where the family chose the adopting parent. My twins which have been with me alittle over 2months where through an agency here in Ok. that specializes in waiting kids. 4kids as a working single parent is a challenge, but I work with a wonderful bunch of people and I've had the same day care provider for 9yrs. Good luck and it will happen if you're willing to take the chance. God Bless

[mckenna]

ashlea, have you had any luck with lutheren family services?