[needtoknow]

My husband has been diagnosed bipolar is currently taking medication. Because of his illness, he has had a tumultuous past - i.e. jail, arrests, etc. Nothing has happened in several years, but the facts remain the same. From what I have read, it looks like we would not be able to adopt. We can have our own children but think it is better to help a child who doesn't have a family. Does anyone have any information or insight about our chances of actually adopting?

Thanks

[Sabs]

I know that your husband's past criminal record and his medical issues would be included in the homestudy your agency would require. Our adoption agency told us very clearly that any criminal record, or mental illness of any kind would exclude us from adopting through their agency.

I cannot say definitively, but I personally think your chances of adopting are slim-to-none.

[JoanneFromNYC]

Hi...by your statement about adopting a child who needs a home, I'm assuming you're considering adopting through your state. If you are, congratulations! My husband & I are also.

If you're looking to adopt through a birth parent, then none of us can give you advice because then it will depend on what that one particular person is looking for, same with an agency..it'll depend on what they will accept, but if you're adopting through the state it's a whole different ball game.
My husband was arrested four times and we both led a very wild lifestyle....the typical "sex, drugs and rock & roll" kind of life. We have since mellowed and are now ready to be parents. We were completely honest about our past years and we ended up being the most sought after homestudy in our district due to the issues we've dealt with and how we dealt with them. That's a big thing with the state...they don't want couple who tries to pass themselves off as "the perfect couple"because the fact is, these children come with issues that "perfect" people will not be able to handle it. My husband & I went to a marriage counsler for 6 months and they loved that! Why? Because it showed we were open to therapy. What I'm trying to say is....what the state is looking for and what a private agency/birthparent is looking for are two totally different things....different qualities.
They will probably look at your husband's disorder (as long as he's keeping it under control) as that he will be able to relate to a child with simular symptoms.
As for the arrests....as long as they weren't child related or violent, you'll be okay. Like I said, my hubby was arrested and it didn't affect our homestudy at all.
If you weren't considering adopting through your state, please do. These children need a family and if you both want to be parents...it's a great way to do it!
Good luck....get the ball rolling...call your state's DCS office and find out when the next MAPP class starts. Keep me updated!!

[jenna202]

I adopted through the state foster care system, and I suffer from severe clinical depression. I do not have 'manic' episodes, and I have no criminal history. I will say that they asked A LOT of questions about my illness at each stage of the process, but it went just fine - I now have a gorgeous two year-old daughter!

As everyone has said, honesty - total and complete - is always best. Try to focus on what your husband has done to deal with his illness, and what plans and contingency plans you have in place in case he has another episode or experiences pharmacological "breakthrough". One reason I have decided to adopt, rather than have bio children, is that I do not want to pass this horrible mental illness on to them. I know only half of what your husband suffers, but I surely sympathize with you both. Good luck.