[kittkatt31]

I am not an amom rather, an bmom.
But, I figured since I can read these threads I can also reply.
I think maybe it could also be up to the adoptee to decide.
It's like Blue Irish Eyes (adoptee) said,....."most of us love
both of you." Personally, if my daughter refers to me as her life
mom, thats fine. But, if she refers to her amom as lifemom, thats
okay, too.

Thats my 2 cents..cha ching

[gr8tful2aa]

I agree with ya Kitt,
I am not going to "split hairs" over how I am refered too. I was at one forum where the natural mother was refered to as the birth woman...It makes no difference to me, though I know some folks take offense to certain titles. I was the one who gave birth to my child so birth mother is okay with me. I was however, in no way a mother. A mother kisses the boo boo's , wipes the tears, helps with homework, comforts etc... I did not do any of these things..and I guess that is why I am not offended by the titles, I have accepted what my roll in my childs life was and is...not to say I would not love the opportunity to be her friend, and that is the best I will ever hope for.
Thanks for letting me share!
Tammie

[debsdone]

Tammie, Thank you so much for what you said. It is quite a load off to hear that not all birthmothers have these enormous expectations from us adoptees! It terrifies me. So thank-you for a reasonable and loving opinion! Love, Debi

[kittkatt31]

Tammie,
Don't worry so much about what "negative" others may
say. Adoption is a highly charged subject and if someone has had
a bad day, they may have strong words on particular matters.
I don't know your situation but, don't let "anyone" tell you who
you are, or how you should feel. After all, noone suffers the
consequences of your decisions but, you. Keep your chin up,
hun.
Love, Diane M. (hayleysmom)

[gr8tful2aa]

I honestly think that having expectations of anyone is a disappointment waiting to happen For me, I just accept life on lifes terms. It makes it a whole lot easier, and besides I have absolutely no right to expect anything of my daughter, but again I would welcome her friendship.
Thanks for letting me share.
Tammie