[nikkihoi]

We were recently contacted by a friend who knew someone that is pregnant and wants to give the baby up. We met with the bmom and got to know a little about each other. We then found a lawyer who would handle our case. The bmom hasn't asked us for any financial help yet and we don't know if she will. We don't know this woman at all and we don't know if she is on the up and up. Part of me is afraid that she is going to take advantage of us and part of me wants to reach out to her so she knows we are not cold people. We don't have any middleman and the lawyer says just sit back and wait, but I am afraid that if the bmom had different ideas she may decide that she doesn't want us. Does any one have any advice?

[billysmommy]

While I agree that it would not be a good thing to put any pressure on the pbmom, I do think you want to protect your own emotional and financial interets. Don't be surprised that she has not asked for any money, not all Bmoms require living expenses. Our attorney had a social worker meet with our son's Bmom to go over all of her options and also to get a feel of what her intentions were. That might be a good starting point....

[Support2Adopt]

I agree with Billysmommy in regards to having her see a social worker. She really should get some counceling, too. JJ

[lyra smith]

I placed a baby in an open adoption where there was no middle man. To tell you the truth I wish there would have been. We both agree that things would have been better that way. Not that I am not totally satisfied with the adoption, but there are so many emotions running through everyone after the baby is born, that it is hard to make decisions like visits and contact or finacial help. I think it's probably best to have someone do that for you. It will take a lot of stress of both of the parties involved if there is some sort of arangements prior to the birth.
hope my thoughts help
lyra