[lurk10]

Sorry if this posts twice...
Our daughter is named after my grandmother; my maiden name is her middle name. We planned to use one of the names that her birthmother gave her as her middle; however, the combination of the first/middle names was incredibly similar to the first name that we were considering and ultimately chose for her. We felt like that name sort of honored the birthmother's choice because they were so similar.

Now we are going to have a son (same birthmother), and we want to keep the middle name that she gave him as his middle name.

We're worried that our daughter will be disappointed that she doesn't have a name chosen by the birthmother. At this point we've had zero contact but might meet the birthmother this week. What do you think? We feel like keeping the middle name chosen by the birthmother is right for our son but maybe not our daughter. Help!

[smiles2012]

Originally Posted by lurk10

Sorry if this posts twice...
Our daughter is named after my grandmother; my maiden name is her middle name. We planned to use one of the names that her birthmother gave her as her middle; however, the combination of the first/middle names was incredibly similar to the first name that we were considering and ultimately chose for her. We felt like that name sort of honored the birthmother's choice because they were so similar.

Now we are going to have a son (same birthmother), and we want to keep the middle name that she gave him as his middle name.

We're worried that our daughter will be disappointed that she doesn't have a name chosen by the birthmother. At this point we've had zero contact but might meet the birthmother this week. What do you think? We feel like keeping the middle name chosen by the birthmother is right for our son but maybe not our daughter. Help!

No experience, but here is my two cents.

It sounds like both have a name that is linked to bmom's desire/chosen name, and their names are special.

So as an example, Bmom chose "Marie" as middle name and you named your daughter "Mary" I think the relation is close enough that DD will understand when the time is right.

Naming is important, but always remember Shakespeare's truth!

[LauraLiz]

I think there is no way to predict how your child will feel when they grow up, so what matters most is that the names are special.

We have the reverse. DS #1 has a middle name from his birthmother. DS#2 does not (because of her choice) but has two names that are very special in meaning for us. They were both named in love, and that is what we share when we talk about names. Everything about adoption is about love.

[KarenInCa]

Middle names are rarely used, unless the child is in trouble..lol I agree with both responses. As long as you think both of their middle names are special, and chosen for special reasons, I don't think it will be that big of a deal.
My bio brother was named after my dad, as a Jr. and although I realize that is much different, I was never jealous over the name choices. There were so many other things to be upset about when I was growing up. ;-) It might be different if the next was a girl also.

Congrats, btw.